married people without kids. a question.

[aigel]

I strongly feel we should leave the tread where it is at and not discuss the pros / cons of having kids. It would be disrespectful to the OP IMHO - basically perpetuating the behavior he complains about in the first place!

That said, it is an interesting discussion, so go ahead and start a new thread!

G

[Rick Lee]

Originally Posted by DAEpperson

With all due respect, I think this is an ignorant and selfish position. Where would he be if his parents thought this way? What if his doctor believed the same. The next cancer researcher, teacher or soldier? So much for western civilization.

Sorry for my shock and pessimism.

And if everyone thought their kid would be the next Nobel Prize laureate or POTUS or whatever, we'd still end up with more idiots who eventually become wards of the state. People can rationalize anything. If you want kids and can afford them, have them. I can afford them and don't want them. Some people will call that selfish, but I'm not denying anything to anyone other than a satisfactory answer to an inappropriate question.

My boss has three daughters and his wife is a stay-at-home mom. I can't even fathom the hell he's going through on vacation right now. He likes to work long hours and doesn't complain about his 3 hr. roundtrip commute to the office because no matter how hard things get at work, it's more peaceful there than at home. He has to live to work and be a great earner because he has at least 12 yrs. of college and three weddings to pay for. His eldest is 14. The fun times are coming soon. No thanks.

[bell]

” why don't you have any kids?”
”Cause she really really loves anal”

That'll shut'em up..... Lol

[rattlsnak]

I cannot fathom my life without my kids. If I could have afforded it, I would have had a few more.
I bet you're sure glad your parents didn't feel your way. !

[krichard]

The question of being glad our parent had kids or not is irrelevant..... they did and therefore we are.... that has nothing do to with my decision to have or not have kids of my own. We chose not to and love the life we live without crying babies and future collage tuition payments... I am thrilled that so many of our friends have decided to have kids and love it, but it's just not for us.

[Rick Lee]

Originally Posted by rattlsnak

I cannot fathom my life without my kids. If I could have afforded it, I would have had a few more.
I bet you're sure glad your parents didn't feel your way. !

I can't imagine not being with my wife, but I was just fine before I met her. It's better with her, but I wasn't itching to get married. I couldn't care less if my parents had decided to not have kids. I'd not be around to know about it.

[Bill Douglas]

Originally Posted by bell

” why don't you have any kids?”
”Cause she really really loves anal”

That'll shut'em up..... Lol

Certainly can get pregnant from that. Where do you think Samoans come from.




(from a conversation I overheard.)

[slodave]

Originally Posted by Bill Douglas

Certainly can get pregnant from that. Where do you think Samoans come from.




(from a conversation I overheard.)

Ouch!

[72doug2,2S]

For some who simply choose not to have kids, to me, marriage seems somewhat less meaningful.

It's like buying a car, but only getting out the title and insurance card to fondle every now and then, perhaps slipping the key in the ignition and turning it over, but never really going anywhere. The great thing about owning a car is taking the trips. The great thing about marriage is taking the trip of life.

When you get old and gray you won't reminisce about the title and insurance card. You won't really think about the key and turning it over that much. You will think about all the trips you made and the different places you saw and the experiences that car helped give you. You'll also have memories of all the different people that came into your life because you took that car out of the garage and actually went somewhere.

Just my $0.02.

For those who are married with more than one kid, you'll know exactly what I'm on about. Why buy a Ferrari or Porsche and never go anywhere?

[red-beard]

So, should I sell the car I own and get a new one which drives?

[72doug2,2S]

Originally Posted by red-beard

So, should I sell the car I own and get a new one which drives?

If your car doesn't drive, I'm not suggesting you sell it and buy a new one. Enjoy what you've got. I'm just saying for cars that do drive and men who choose not to drive, they are missing out on some pretty cool things.

[Rikao4]

like a car..
how nice..
problem is most people treat their marriage like a car purchase...
runs rough..
get rid of it..
getting old..get rid of it..
kids don't make you complete or your marriage better..
their a by-product...
as for getting old....
I'm not alone..
I have her..
but without her..
the last thing I would want is kids..
it's just fine....we do what we want/when we want..

Rika

[MarkRobinson]

We're 43, 42 & no kids (won't happen)> In our 20's we (she) were constantly defending our position, though my wife came up with the idea to tell her family that she wasn't able, so to DROP IT!: never heard from them again.

I took a football to the plums back in HS (Military school) & had a few surgeries, almost 0 sperm count so that was my story.

[Roosterrusek]

I was recently asked this question, and I first tried the polite "my wife and I never found the need to have kids".

The lady's retort was "well I just cannot understand that, why wouldn't you want to have them, having kids is the best thing in the world"...

So my reply was exactly this in a very even and level tone with a HUGE smile on my face..."look, I'm trying to be polite here, but I'm really not understanding how you think it's any of your ****** business".

I think it was the smile coupled with the enormous GO AWAY look in my eye. She said nary another word and almost ran away. Later on, I got an apology from her husband...

[scottmandue]

Originally Posted by Rikao4

like a car..
how nice..
problem is most people treat their marriage like a car purchase...
runs rough..
get rid of it..
getting old..get rid of it..
kids don't make you complete or your marriage better..
their a by-product...
as for getting old....
I'm not alone..
I have her..
but without her..
the last thing I would want is kids..
it's just fine....we do what we want/when we want..

Rika

Gold!

When we married I was 52 and she was 47.... we didn't need to get married... but we were both in for the adventure.

She has a daughter from previous marriage and at our age kids is a no-go (and wifes plumbing has been altered).

Even at our age... and even though my brother has provided three grand children and two great grandchildren... mom was still "going to have kids?"

[vash]

Originally Posted by Roosterrusek

"look, I'm trying to be polite here, but I'm really not understanding how you think it's any of your ****** business".

i like it.. clean and to the point.

[Rick Lee]

Originally Posted by Roosterrusek

So my reply was exactly this in a very even and level tone with a HUGE smile on my face..."look, I'm trying to be polite here, but I'm really not understanding how you think it's any of your ****** business".

I'd have no problem saying that to a stranger. But I don't think friends or family mean anything bad by asking and they're generally curious because they'd be happy for you if you had kids. I was asked that so many times on this last trip to Europe. I told them they'd not be seeing me in Europe for many more years were we to have kids.

[Kaliv]

Originally Posted by Deschodt

- because your Porsche only fits 2

The wife and I sometimes have conversations about having more kids...and they all end with something like this. The Porsche only fits 2 in the back. Interestingly enough however, today the conversation ended that if we broke down and got two Panameras, we could probably accomodate 4 more kids if we drove seperately everywhere. Unfortunately, she didn't go for the two Panamera idea.

[Kaliv]

My wife and I used to get the question a lot as well...as we waited quite a few years to have any. I usually just answered with "I hate kids"...which usually flew because of the way I said it and most people know I try to be funny.

But having kids was probably the hardest and biggest decision we ever made. Although having number two was pretty easy because one changed so much...two had little impact. I still hate kids...which is what I tell people if they ask if we're having any more. The only reason I love mine...is because they are mine. Mine to love, discipline, and brainwash. I dislike other people's kids because you get in trouble doing any of the following I just mentioned...and if the parents themselves don't do it...they are little spawns of the debil.

[Hydrocket]

I generally say "Because I'm selfish". Seems as though that's what people want to hear, so that's what I say. Usually that's enough.

I'm of the opinion that most people aren't responsible enough to have kids, so the fewer that do the better. The amount of awful, mouthy, disrespectful kids that I see nowadays makes me shudder. My parents didn't put up with ANY BS like that growing up...not sure why parents do now. Oh yea..their kids are to precious to and delicate to hear stern words.

While my friends love their kids they seem tired, stressed, worry, aged, etc. Vacations (while fun) seem to drain them. Kids is a big responsibility....and you have to be mentally (and financially) prepared to have them. Anything short of 100% commitment means you are not ready for kids.

So don't have them.