Friday fodder...my venture into online "dating"

[Dueller]

OK, guys,,,,gonna let you take some potshots at me. lol

For the first time I wentured into the online dating scene. While my social life has been quite active post-divorce, for lack of a better term its somewhat "inbred". No....I'm not dating any of my relatives (well not close relatives) but while I'm in a target rich environment; i.e., many more women in my area than available men, I found myself often out to dinner with a new victim and lo and behold there would be multiple women present who I had been or was in an ongoing "relationship" with.

So I decided to expand my vistas.

Some things I've observed:

I posted a profile complete with pictures, etc and a sarcastic humorous narrative, Was tied up for the first week and didn't check my account only to return to 133 messages. Sheesh...this is a full time job. I'm no prize but dayum there are some desparate people out there.

If you're 23 and messaging a guy 30 years your senior to "chat" you;re obviously a phone sex for money entrepreneur .

"Slender build"= anoexic and/or crack ho

"average weight"= If you can divide your weight by 2 and arrive at a dividend of greater than 100

"a few extra pounds"= morbidly obese

"athletic build"= I have toned calves because I have to haul around 200+ pounds of ass

"big and beautiful"= I used to work in the circus side show as the fat lady...had to quit due to excessive weight gain

"seeks man generous with time and money"= want a retired rich geezer who can fund my lifestyle

"occupation: social services"= I'm on welfare

In the 3 weeks I've fooled with it I have met some attractive, intelligent nice ladies, to wit: a hospital administrator, several nurses, a dean of students at local JUCO, a lawyer, etc. But you have to really cull and read between the lines.

OK...open season on Dueller's foibles. lol

[jhynesrockmtn]

Definitely subscribed

For many reasons I've been contemplating a change in my romantic situation and becoming single again and have thought about on line dating as a social experiment. Document my experiences and write something about it. I will say I've had very successful on line experiences and there are some great people out there so it can be a great tool.

[pete3799]

You dated a lawyer..........surely you can do better than that
Athletic build= i have toned calves because i have to haul around 200+ pounds of ass.........love that one.

[Dueller]

In talking with some of the women, it appears that some people (men and women) hang out online "surfing" sites for years. So the same people are seen repeatedly just switching from site to site. This may explain the initial flurry of interest in my initial foray...kinda the new kid in school phenomena...fresh meat . lol

[asphaltgambler]

must.....enclose.......pics.......of.........dates ....for......this..thread.......to...... take......off

[Dueller]

Originally Posted by pete3799

You dated a lawyer..........surely you can do better than that

I enjoy slumming occasionally

[red-beard]

It seems like you're doing it right. Just use it to find people. Do not get into extensive online discussions. You need to meet in person to see if there is chemistry.

[Dueller]

Originally Posted by red-beard

It seems like you're doing it right. Just use it to find people. Do not get into extensive online discussions. You need to meet in person to see if there is chemistry.

So true....I don't have time to pen pal, etc. Many women want to go for weeks and even months before talking on phone or....GASP...meeting in person. Don't know if its my magnetic charm but if we haven't met in person within 10 days or so, I move on. Thus far all have agreed to meet face to face almost immediately.

It may be that I'm pretty quick to let them know I have a 6 figure income. I just don't tell them two of those figures are to the right of the decimal point. lol

[recycled sixtie]

Just be real honest and tell them you are looking for a nurse with a purse. It also shows them that u have a sense of humor but it seems u already have that. Enjoy the ride!

[kaisen]

Originally Posted by recycled sixtie

....Enjoy the ride(s)!

Hehe. This

[DonDavis]

All true.

Here's a few of my observtions...

"my kids are my entire life"
"I get along great with my ex" Sure you do, then why divorced?
"I love travel"
"I don't like drama" Riiiighht.

And a dead giveaway they're BIG is when their profile pics are only closeup head shots with puckered lips. Called "floating heads".
Most of the profiles say the same thing just in a different order.

[Dueller]

Originally Posted by recycled sixtie

Just be real honest and tell them you are looking for a nurse with a purse. It also shows them that u have a sense of humor but it seems u already have that. Enjoy the ride!

My line in responding to nurses:

"I really like nurses...they are intelligent, educated, decisive, confident, organized, independent and not afraid of body fluids."

From my profile:

"What else can I tell you about me? I have all my hair, most of my teeth, chew with my mouth closed, can fix things, mow my own yard, all tatoos spelled correctly (even the prison tats), no foul habits other than the occasional cigar, read without moving my lips, current drivers license, own my own tuxedos, dabble in the arts...a true renaissance man, I s'pose.

The beard is temporary and the dog in the pics is a rescue pooch. Neither is a fashion statement.
I don't wear pinky rings, gold chains, speedos, pony tails, piercings or status timepieces....at a certain point the only accesorry a man should wear is his dignity."

[kaisen]

I hope you spelled "timepieces" correctly in your profile

[Joe Bob]

Can you perform w/o little blue pills?

[Dueller]

Originally Posted by kaisen

I hope you spelled "timepieces" correctly in your profile

lol...I did

[Dueller]

Originally Posted by Joe Bob

Can you perform w/o little blue pills?

Like shooting pool with a rope!

[Dueller]

Originally Posted by DonDavis

All true.

Here's a few of my observtions...

"my kids are my entire life"
"I get along great with my ex" Sure you do, then why divorced?
"I love travel"
"I don't like drama" Riiiighht.

And a dead giveaway they're BIG is when their profile pics are only closeup head shots with puckered lips. Called "floating heads".
Most of the profiles say the same thing just in a different order.

How about:

"Love to cuddle in front of fireplace with glass of wine while watching an old movie during a fall rainshower."

[Joe Bob]

In the olden days, tongue depresser and duct tape.....BTW, you can always dig up my old online dating tips.

I've decided that wimmen are evil. Never date a redheaded nurse or for that matter any redhead. Assume ALL are fat unless verified.....find short spinners....make them take pics with a recent newspaper in the field of view.

Mention that you like guns and have a GPS tracker in your cell phone....

[asphaltgambler]

Originally Posted by DonDavis

All true.

Here's a few of my observtions...

And a dead giveaway they're BIG is when their profile pics are only closeup head shots with puckered lips. Called "floating heads".
Most of the profiles say the same thing just in a different order.

OR her pic has a 1975 Trans am in the back ground and it looks new........because it is

[asphaltgambler]

Originally Posted by Joe Bob

I've decided that wimmen are evil. Never date a redheaded nurse or for that matter any redhead. ............

Unfortunately......this is just the type of woman I USED to fall face first for.........like a moth-to-a-bug zapper................and then get killed