Quit Job? Sell Porsche? Talk me out of these

[WIL84911]

Not sure what I'm going through.

1 - I'm feeling very tired of my current job (mainframe applications programmer for a large company for 15 years).

2 - I feel I've achieved what I want with my 911 and now feeling the pinch of expensive upkeep.

I feel my going back to occassional smoking does not help. Is this normal for a 51 year old?

Do I need to bang my head against a wall? Tell me I'm not making sense but you better let me know what the fix is. Thanks in advance.

[herr_oberst]

A lot of that going around, there's another thread where a guy sold his 914, moved into a condo and is going to commute on his bike (I won't mention the Smart car purchase)

Myself, I've been thinking about selling my 911 these days, getting rid of some of the copious amounts of crap I've acquired and simplify. (I'm 53) It's balls to the wall at work, has been all year, and I'm burning out. Basically 55 hours a week, and they beg me to work more. No end in sight, Sales staff piles more and more on us and clients want quicker turnaround. Crazy times. Seems like the economy is improving, but the owners won't hire to replace the people laid off a couple years back.

[recycled sixtie]

I think that it is called a mid-life crisis. But on a more positive note you are doing a rethink about your life.
Perhaps you can get a leave of absence from your job for a while? I always say to myself you don't know what you have got till it is gone. Some other job u would rather do? As for the 911, if u don't drive it much then u would miss it less?

[sc_rufctr]

Can you take extended leave with or without pay to get your head straight?

[red-beard]

Divorce? Check
Younger Girlfriend? Check
Sports car? Check

Yep, it's a midlife crisis

Yours is now over!

[Porsche-O-Phile]

I suggest you start drinking heavily.

(Animal House reference)

[WIL84911]

I like the suggestions thus far. I think I do need a good vacation by myself away from it all since I have not had one in 3 years at least (wife goes without me but that's another can of worms I won't get into).

Regarding the 911 that's another big issue. I cannot stop thinking about 911's. I find myself surfing all day here on Pelican. I had my car on jack stands prepping for suspension refresh but what do I do... I put it back down and headed to some local car show just yesterday as I haven't driven in in 5 days.

Yes I'm hoping a vacation by myself will reset my thinking and outlook.

The one positive thing I've done during these times is lose 25 pounds (down to 152 from 180).

[LWJ]

I get it. Not unreasonable questions.

The first question to answer is really the job question. Cars are easily bought and sold. Agreed that a leave or nice vacation might help clear your head. I have a co-worker who just rode around the US on his Harley for 10.5K miles. It took 6 weeks. How he did it? He just made it happen. I couldn't imagine taking that kind of vacation - we do the same job. But he did. A nice role model! Maybe I can get the courage to take 3 weeks some time.

Not being in a large company anymore, is HR a help? Can you tell them that you need to recharge your batteries without getting a stain on your record?

Certainly, you have an EAP plan where you can go and talk to a counselor for any reason. Go do it. I have. It helps. These folks are professional listeners. Have they told me some goofy responses? Yes. Did I laugh hard and feel like I was in a better place than them? Absolutely!

So my advice is to take baby steps. Don't do anything irrevocable on a whim. You still have those options.

If you do something radical. Let us know. We will all be living vicariously off you for a while!

Good luck.
Larry

[recycled sixtie]

Just remember there are thousands like u who feel the way u describe. Don't feel alone. Get counselling if necessary. Booze never solves any problems. Get more exercise - walking, running, cycling whatever u enjoy.It makes u feel better. The way I see it life is what u make it. Do some volunteer work.

[sc_rufctr]

Originally Posted by WIL84911

I like the suggestions thus far... (wife goes without me but that's another can of worms I won't get into)...

The one positive thing I've done during these times is lose 25 pounds (down to 152 from 180).

The weight loss is great. Stay strong.

So... Forgive the intrusion but why does your wife go on sepperate vacations?

Is your relationship OK?

[dennis in se pa]

You need a few days alone at the beach. On the other hand - change is good.

[Miguel Antonett]

Is the loosing weight a voluntary thing or...? If voluntary, that's good, prrreeeeettttty good!

Definitely a mid-life crisis, get a hobby - personal hobby - that you do JUST for you, and breath. Keep in mind that it always could be worse, rise 10K feet and look down...; hey, you have a P-car after all, so you're ways ahead of 95% of the world popullation.

Enjoy life while you can!

[WIL84911]

Originally Posted by LWJ

I get it. Not unreasonable questions.

The first question to answer is really the job question. Cars are easily bought and sold. Agreed that a leave or nice vacation might help clear your head. I have a co-worker who just rode around the US on his Harley for 10.5K miles. It took 6 weeks. How he did it? He just made it happen. I couldn't imagine taking that kind of vacation - we do the same job. But he did. A nice role model! Maybe I can get the courage to take 3 weeks some time.

Not being in a large company anymore, is HR a help? Can you tell them that you need to recharge your batteries without getting a stain on your record?

Certainly, you have an EAP plan where you can go and talk to a counselor for any reason. Go do it. I have. It helps. These folks are professional listeners. Have they told me some goofy responses? Yes. Did I laugh hard and feel like I was in a better place than them? Absolutely!

So my advice is to take baby steps. Don't do anything irrevocable on a whim. You still have those options.

If you do something radical. Let us know. We will all be living vicariously off you for a while!

Good luck.
Larry

That's another thing on my mind.. drive west for about 10K miles. Might be a good vaca option. Yes we do have one of those HR group - I will look into that - thanks for bringing it up.

Originally Posted by sc_rufctr

The weight loss is great. Stay strong.

So... Forgive the intrusion but why does your wife go on sepperate vacations?

Is your relationship OK?

I think relationship is 50/50. She went on vaca with young daughter overseas as usual but I have to watch my 2 older boys who started working during the summer last couple of years. It was my choice. But I think I'm finding out that after 18 years I feel me and the wife are a mismatch.

[VincentVega]

Just remember there are thousands like u who feel the way u describe. Don't feel alone.

Never easy to balance work and personal life, I know I struggle. Sometimes work is just a paycheck to enable life, other times work is all that seems to matter.

[Slider79SC]

So I am not kidding around with this suggestion.

GO GET YOUR TESOTERONE LEVELS CHECKED…..

I had mine checked at age 43 and I was at a 170. Normal levels should be between 300-1100. I was experiencing many of the things you are going through and especially the relationship crap.

Well, I can tell you things are much, much better now that my levels are balanced (565) now.

I now have the energy and willingness to do things again, a passion to get off my butt and get things done like my car and working out again to get healthy. I even noticed a better mind clarity than I have had in years.

It is so worth checking out, your normal DR can check for you but if you are close to say 300 they will say you are “ok”. My suggestion is to see a specialist who concentrates on this as their main practice.

It was so worth it!!!

[Don Ro]

Yep...sounds like burnout, to me. BTDT. I had 3 episodes over a 34 yr. period of owning my own business (8 employees). The experiences were second cousin to Depression. I suggest that you go past the DIY healing method and begin a search for a down-to-earth & mature psych. Ask the people (especially women) in your life about the professionals they have visited, if so.
.
My 3rd episode was prompted when I found out that my fiance was having an affair. Long story short - that turned out to be one of the most positive defining moments in my life.
.
This could be an occasion for learning/maturation for you. Enlightenment is NOT the end of suffering, as is commonly said, but rather enlighenment means that the resistance to suffering ends. If this turns out to be more than a surface issue, get prepared for the ride of your life.

[WIL84911]

Originally Posted by Slider79SC

So I am not kidding around with this suggestion.

GO GET YOUR TESOTERONE LEVELS CHECKED…..

I had mine checked at age 43 and I was at a 170. Normal levels should be between 300-1100. I was experiencing many of the things you are going through and especially the relationship crap.

Well, I can tell you things are much, much better now that my levels are balanced (565) now.

I now have the energy and willingness to do things again, a passion to get off my butt and get things done like my car and working out again to get healthy. I even noticed a better mind clarity than I have had in years.

It is so worth checking out, your normal DR can check for you but if you are close to say 300 they will say you are “ok”. My suggestion is to see a specialist who concentrates on this as their main practice.

It was so worth it!!!

Great suggestion. I will see my Doc about this.

[rattlsnak]

Agree on getting your testosterone checked. a close friend is taking supplements to get his stabilized and he says it is an amazing difference.

[Slider79SC]

Oh and I forgot, low testosterone is often mis-diagnosed as depression in men ages 35 and up.

[stogie25]

I was feeling much the same way late last year. I talked myself into going back to the gym, and going on a diet. I am back to two hour workouts and down 45lbs. The grey in my sideburns even went away. It sounds like you are losing weight. If this is from diet and exercise, keep it up. If not try exercise. It is the biggest factor that put me back on track.

I also got divorced after five years of marriage. As we have no kids, and the house was mine long before we met, it was an easy split. I love living alone!!! This might not be as easy for you, or even the actual problem.

My original plan for the year was to fix all the mistakes I have made. The next was to get out of Denver, and find a new job, preferably near a beach. With the other changes, I am enjoying life again, and do not see this as immediately necessary. I look forward to going to work again (I have been there 16 years). I can see making it through my next ten until retirement. I look forward to going home again. I have fun with the girlfriend, something I have not done in years. Life is good.

Good luck.