How would you proceed?

[KFC911]

Originally Posted by Moses

This. Exactly.

Another way to look at it... If you had damaged your own truck yourself would you spend $700 to fix it? If you would not, then why would you ask a friend to?

Yep...

[john70t]

1). I initially thought your friend was a jerk, and voted #1.

2). Then the $1,000 cost was for a very small ding, and another "friend" was doing the repairs.
(with the culprit being a family man, without big bucks, and possibly a member of your church.)

3). Then the vehicle turns out to be a 14 year old work truck....which had already been rebuilt from salvage....?
Geeze louise. It's a frakin work truck.

Trek, I think your body shop friend is taking advantage of you, and/or you are passing it along.
You should have shopped around to get a more reasonable repair price, and had a moral duty to.
Or made him stand around helping you fix it.
Or just forgotten about the whole thing.

I suspect there is far more to this story, and a relationship history at play here.

[speeder]

And a door ding that will not show up in a photo. It's "very small". But $700-$1k to repair. Fk me...

[Zeke]

I forgot where Trekkor said the ding was, on a crease somewhere and the paint was damaged to the metal. Now I know there are ways to do this on the cheap, but a bodyshop takes the usual steps to straighten if necessary, sand and fill, prime and paint. If it's on long panel, they will clearcoat the whole panel. Hence, 700+ bucks. Might as well have lightly scraped the whole panel. That's how they work.

They are not in business to lose money. Now the cat that works the used car lots could do this for 100 bucks and make it look good. Look good for a couple of years and a few waxings, I don't know.

The point about would Trek spend his own 700 is the best one of the thread.

[Baz]

Maybe the person who did the damage hasn't a clue about being a responsible human.

Friendship is about respect first and foremost.

If someone is not very responsible by their nature....I don't see how one could respect them, do you?

Thus their is no basis for friendship.

I totally get that....

Everyone has a different set of criteria for "friendship" defined.

I hold others to a pretty high standard myself.

Seems like there are many like-minded folks here - but not all have the same criteria.

I was raised to be respectful and responsible. Isn't that what you want from your "friends"?

[john70t]

Maybe it's all for the best. Sorry that this happened.

[KFC911]

I don't think there is a single person on this thread who wouldn't have "manned up" and offered to pay for the damage (just like KT's friend ACTUALLY did after letting off some steam in the "heat of the moment"). Trekkor's reluctance to show a picture of the damage is indeed telling, and it was in fact KT who "ended" the 20+ year friendship imo. I ain't buying "his side of the story" and giving him the "validation" he's seeking over ending the friendship by posting this thread a week after the event. He asked for our opinions (without giving the complete picture), and now he's shut down on this thread much like he did with his friend imo. Methinks that many of you have passed judgement without hearing both sides of the story. I still say post a pic or pick up the damn phone and "make amends"....ending a 20 year friendship over this...pathetically sad imo.

[Zeke]

Originally Posted by john70t

Maybe it's all for the best. Sorry that this happened.

That's what I said on the first page. He was lucky to get 20 years out of the guy before he saw the true side of him.

Now, what do I do when some joker tells me a small ding is gonna cost me 700 bones? I tell him to go to my approved-every-way-to-Sunday shop which will do this for half that.

On the books.

[juanbenae]

trek, sorry to hear about the loss of a friendship over this. couple things-- it is a truck for gosh sakes... a big red dually no less. lastly, won't it now match the rest of your vehicles????

see you in two weeks,

t

[trekkor]

Size of the dent and cost of the repair are irrelevant.

He ended the friendship, not I.

He tried to play it off as a joke. Like it never happened.
I wasn't laughing.


And, I have no control over the price of body shop labor rates and the fact that they will have my truck for 3 days.


Why is whether or not I can afford to pay the $740 out of pocket to do the repair myself if it was my fault or the age/purpose of the truck relevant?


KT

[aigel]

He should offer option 1 or 2 and you have the option to say "don't worry about it, it is just a small dent, but thanks", or you accept and have it fixed.

G

[speeder]

Originally Posted by trekkor

Size of the dent and cost of the repair are irrelevant.

Maybe to you. The rest of us seem to think it's relevant.

He ended the friendship, not I.

Can't say that I blame him, under the circumstances.

He tried to play it off as a joke. Like it never happened.
I wasn't laughing.

He should not have done that. I'll give you that one.


And, I have no control over the price of body shop labor rates and the fact that they will have my truck for 3 days.

You have complete control over where you take it to be fixed, how you decide to deal with it and whether you get it fixed at all. You would honestly be w/o your work vehicle for 3 freaking days to got a door ding repaired?? One that is so tiny you will not let us see it after starting this thread? What's wrong with you? It's on the front fender, right? I got an estimate to paint the roof of a new BMW, including a new factory sunroof seal, that was significantly less than $740 and it was from the most expensive body shop in all of Los Angeles.

Why is whether or not I can afford to pay the $740 out of pocket to do the repair myself if it was my fault or the age/purpose of the truck relevant?
KT

Anyone can afford $740 if they're really that crazy. A homeless guy could probably scrape it together. No one asked whether you can afford it, only whether you would choose to pay that out of pocket for a ding. The age/condition/purpose of the vehicle is absolutely relevant, IMO. Would you do a $700 door ding repair on a $1k beater? I'm using an extreme example to make a point. It's relevant. If it was a brand new, $60k truck, I'd get it fixed, maybe. Any paint work on a high-value vehicle can be worse than a tiny ding in many cases, so that's why I say "maybe".

Don't misunderstand me, I think that you are justified in being pissed at your friend's inconsiderate and careless behavior around your truck. But to make a federal case over it under all of the circumstances known or assumed, (you are hiding important data), and to consider an insurance claim over a door ding on an old truck is really bananas. IMO.

[DanielDudley]

If I had a friend who stepped up to the plate, no matter how reluctantly, I would feel compelled to thank him for doing so. I would explain that while it might be an insignificant amount of damage to him, that I had put a lot of money into my pride and joy, and that it meant a lot to me that it was kept up, and that he stepped up.

Do we serve God, or Mamon ? I expect believers to seek their answers from the source. Perhaps the OP should do that now, as this thread seems to be degenerating, and smells a bit like old fish. The Son of Man once said that each of us would know in his own heart what was right.

Well, in your heart, how does this feel ? It doesn't quite feel right to me, so I am putting that out there. A little courtesy, a little kindness go a long way in this world. If our interactions with others serve as a mirror to our souls, I would suggest that the OP go to the mirror. If he likes what he sees, then what does it matter what any of us think, and why are we talking about it ?

We arrive here with nothing. In the end we leave with nothing. So while you can be buried in a truck, I don't think you can take it with you. And while you can leave a truck to your children's children, it will probably be an anachronism to them. They are probably going to prefer clean air and water, and a well tended planet. But Oh, Look at that SHINE !

[azasadny]

Option 1 is the ONLY option that a real friend would pursue. Anything less than that is an "acquaintance" at best... I would have nothing further to do with that person as life is too short to spend time with people like that...

[john70t]

I once had a "friend" who I bent over backwards for: Helping with vehicle work, backing him up when street idiots got aggressive, driving a vehicle cross-country, waking up on a workday at 3am and picking him up on the freeway, etc, etc....you name it.

He had some personality control/self consciousness issue, and would try to knock me down at every turn, even in public. Really, really, f'ked me over a few times. I didn't learn and just took it. It was exciting entertainment though.
I rediscovered how to protect personal boundaries and where they stood, as well as how sociopaths think and act.

I eventually learned. Our friendship ended on something small like that.

[speeder]

Originally Posted by john70t

I once had a "friend" who I bent over backwards for: Helping with vehicle work, backing him up when street idiots got aggressive, driving a vehicle cross-country, waking up on a workday at 3am and picking him up on the freeway, etc, etc....you name it.

He had some personality control/self consciousness issue, and would try to knock me down at every turn, even in public. Really, really, f'ked me over a few times. I didn't learn and just took it. It was exciting entertainment though.
I rediscovered how to protect personal boundaries and where they stood, as well as how sociopaths think and act.

I eventually learned. Our friendship ended on something small like that.

Well, that is an entirely different matter. Why you would ever befriend someone like that is a mystery, I would look at my own part in it, i.e. why would I allow someone like that in my life.