How much did getting married change you?

[scottmandue]

I married late in life... really late... @52...

We did the long distance relationship thing so her daughter could finish high school in Portland OR. In hind sight that was probably a good thing because it gave me time to transition into sharing my space.

She has moved in and... well... things are different...

Not in a bad way, I love sharing my bed, pretty cool that some cleaning gets done around the house that I didn't do... frankly I lived like a wild man, drank like fish, spent money like a drunken sailor (no budget), didn't keep doctor appointments...

Change is good.

I won't lie, it has been a little uncomfortable.. as one lady comedian said "single men live like bears with furniture". Kinda weird to move from total chaos to an ordered life, but at 55 I don't think I would have lasted long at my old lifestyle.

I'm just curious, you guys (and gals) who married young(er) was cohabitation easier?

Ciao!

[Jim Richards]

I think there is always a need to adapt to each other. My way of living/doing things isn't always the best. Neither is her way. Learning to communicate effectively with each other has been the biggest challenge, and we both have made a lot of progress on this.

[id10t]

We were living together for 8 years before getting a marriage license... Changes? Yeah... she's on my insurance (and now my kids), we file jointly for taxes, etc. As far as life and relationship? No ...

[scottmandue]

Yes, communication, communication, communication!

One funny thing... when we were living apart we couldn't get enough of each other... went we were together we were all over each other... now we are planning for 'space' apart, boys night out, girls night out, etc.

Is that normal?

[Seahawk]

No much at all, really. We figured out all the big stuff in advance, made some communication tweaks like Jim (which is sooo critical: pay attention, youngsters!) and moved on to raising our children.

I didn't get married until I was 35 (my wife is nine years younger than I am) but I had a good sense about what I wanted out of life and was willing to wait to find the right person to marry, a person who would not occasion major changes in my lifestyle other than the responsibility of raising children.

The same is true for her, BTW: Twenty-two years later she remains smarter, better looking and more talented than I.

[id10t]

Originally Posted by scottmandue

Yes, communication, communication, communication!

One funny thing... when we were living apart we couldn't get enough of each other... went we were together we were all over each other... now we are planning for 'space' apart, boys night out, girls night out, etc.

Is that normal?

Yup - just 'cause you are married doesn't mean that you have to spend every possible moment with your spouse. Time away is healthy... as long as it won't get you in more trouble "Honey, I know I said to go out for a beer with your friends, but you didn't have to have the beer at the titty bar!"

[vash]

my wife forbids me from responding to this thread..

[Seahawk]

Originally Posted by vash

my wife forbids me from responding to this thread..

My wife just left for work, she wrote mine above.

She is an itch with a "B".

[Dueller]

Yup. Made me realize why some guys are happily gay. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

[Evans, Marv]

I got married late both times. First one was at 32 & second one at 55. I've always been one who was completely happy living life by myself. Always had GFs and thought that was nice since I could pick & choose when I wanted company and sex was always available whenever I felt the urge. Keeping a string of ladies on the line for variety was always nice too. My first marriage was to an impressive lady. One of my motivations was most of my friends already had kids, and at 32 I was sort of feeling I was behind in that respect. She ended up getting sick & couldn't have kids after that, and after a decade we grew apart professionally and socially in some respects and went our separate ways. My idea was to live the bachelor life frugally again, not get married, and retire to South America, and vagabond around South America, China, & wherever else on my savings & retirement. That didn't happen since I let a lady into my life & married her at 55. She had been pursuing me from shortly after I parted ways with my first wife. Sometimes I think I could be traveling through some remote location somewhere, but I'm happy with my life as it is. We get along famously and love each other enormously, so I'm happy with the way things turned out and wouldn't change it.

[Evans, Marv]

Paul, too funny!!

[Hard-Deck]

My wife and I have been married 25 years. It has turned into an unbreakable bond. We talk, plan together, respect each other's ideas and time. We get along less great apart and really great together. The original question on this thread is: Did getting married change you? I have to say, no, but it focused us both on our good sides together; so no change, just good amplification.

[nostatic]

3rd time is a charm.

[Rick Lee]

I pretty much got married so my then GF wouldn't leave me. She's the only person in the world I can stand to be around for more than about three days at a time and I honestly never get tired of her. Everyone else, I'm happy to see once a year and keep in touch via email. Before marriage, I was very happily single and had quite a game going. I have never been lonely, but am happy to be alone. I don't ask permission for anything and we pretty much do whatever we want. It's a good situation, especially given that we have no kids and both have good jobs. I hope it stays this way.

[Dottore]

I married my wife when I was 45 and she a dog's life younger.

That cheesy Jack Nicholson line from "As Good As It Gets" totally applies to us. She "makes me want to be a better man."

And we couldn't be happier.

[R K T]

I'm the head of the house....but my wife is the neck and the neck can turn the head any direction she wants.

Seriously, I met her when she was 17 and I was 27 but we didn't get married for ten years. We've been married for 25 years now.

We are best friends and do everything together. EVERYTHING. There is no boys night out or girls night out because we would rather stay home and be together.

Plus...and it's a BIG PLUS...she is a Porsche fanatic!!

[scottmandue]

Originally Posted by nostatic

3rd time is a charm.

This is my first time down this road... if I had to do it again I think it would kill me...

I am #3 hubby for my wife... she is a slow learner

I also was fat and happy at 52 I figured would spend the rest of my days single (however I am neither rich or good looking so I did not have nookie on tap like many of you do/did).

Strange thing is I don't remember "deciding" to get married... I just knew she was the one... It was totally absurd because when we met we lived a thousand miles apart... and even more strange she agreed to the whole kooky idea (did I mention that I am neither rich or good looking?)

[john walker's workshop]

i'd probably be dead by now if i didn't get married. 40 years.

[GH85Carrera]

We got married later in life. After 20 years of marriage I could not be happier.

The biggest difference is having two incomes. We are both cheap and don't spend money on stupid stuff. We live in a house that I could have never purchased on my own. We have no debt and I don't have to ask permission to spend what I want on my toys. She would love for me to replace my 85 Carrera with a new Cayman. I just don't want to spend that much money. I have not had a car payment in this millennium. I don't want to break that streak.

I suspect she will retire in the next year or two. I enjoy my laid back job and I will work for may more years.

[OffCamber00]

My wife is my best friend and there is no one who I would rather spend time with. We share all responsibilities equally, including raising two kids. Couldn't imagine being happier than I am now.