My mother-in-law is preparing to leave us

[Jim Bremner]

We lost my wife's Grandmother on Christmas.

It's a tuff one. I look at it being a good thing for your wife and her mother to be close. There's no thoughts of guilt for not being there.

God Bless.

[jyl]

Be there for your father in law and your wife. Listen a lot.

[Buckterrier]

Really sorry to hear Art. My MIL was also a wonderful person and it was very difficult when she passed. All I can say is love & support each other as I know you already do.

[onewhippedpuppy]

You're a good man Art. Stay strong for your family, especially your wife. I'm sure she's going to need your support.

[azasadny]

Thanks, guys! The "family meeting" is tomorrow AM when Beth, her siblings and her father will meet with the hospice and medical staff to figure out what to do next...

[targa911S]

Hey Art. I have had to have those "family meetings" twice now. Both Mom and Dad. It's never easy but your faith will direct you on the right thing to do. The people that work at hospice are truly angels.
Good luck tomorrow, we will all be with you in spirit.

[oldE]

Art,

Lots of good advice, but as always, each of us shoulders their burdens and moves on.

It helps to have folks to talk to. As mentioned above, that is your job with your wife and Father in law.
Any of us would be happy to listen to you if it helps.

That is our privilege.

Sometimes the waiting is harder than the aftermath.

Thoughts and prayers
Les

[azasadny]

Wow! Thursday PM, the family meeting with the Dr and hospice folks went well, the main issue is that my MIL was still on the vent and they couldn't get her off it. They were going to perform a tracheotomy and take it from there... didn't look good at all. Friday AM, my FIL told my MIL what was going on and swhen they took her off the ventilator, she started breating on her own and by the end of the afternoon, she was sitting up, eating lunch but not able to speak du to the swelling of her larynx from the ventilator. When Beth and I got there Friday at 7pm, she was tired, a little confused, but doing much better. According to her Dr, "there's no medical reason she should be doing as well as she is, considering her condition"!

We visited her today and she is breathing well, and receiving breathing treatments and she is a little confused, but things look much better than they did a few days ago.

Thank you for the prayers and support of all kinds! We're very thankful that she's doing as well as she is and we're taking things one day at a time.

[72doug2,2S]

Thanks for posting Art. Many of us will be in this position soon. I can't say I'm looking forward to it.

[azasadny]

Yes, indeed. We went through all of this several years ago with my grandfather. People envision dying as a sudden thing, it can be, but in many cases, the person dies a little at a time and over a period of time. This can be very stressful for all involved, especially if there's any dysfunction in the family, which there almost always seems to be...

[oldE]

Art,

Thanks for the update.
The human will is an amazing thing.

Maybe you should start calling the MIL "Bumblebee". The Doc says she shouldn't be doing as well as she is, but she just does it.

Love her forever.
Les

[gsmith660]

Art I am right there with you. My situation was almost identical 5 years ago with my mother in law as hard as it was then for me as we were close all I could do was be there for my wife and daughter it was really hard on them. My heart goes out you as well as prayers, she will go to a better place remember that. I don't know how your wife is holding up I hope well don't hesitate to use hospice counselling as it was invaluable for all of us as my wife was her daily care giver right up to her passing. I hope you get Christmas with her and the family pulls together to make the time pleasent for everybody that wasn't the case for us.

[kach22i]

Originally Posted by azasadny

........... in many cases, the person dies a little at a time and over a period of time.

Sounds like the MIL still has some fight in her and is not ready to go easily into the night.

Hang tough Art, I'm sure people are depending on you to be the stable one, but you do not have to be a rock either.

Thanks for sharing.

[DonDavis]

That's great news! I'm sure she was quite sedated while on the vent and it may take some time for her head to clear up. Every hour off the vent is a great thing. Every hour on the vent weakens the body.

My best to you and your family! Say hi to her for me!

[pwd72s]

Art...a tough time. My best wishes to you & yours.