NYS "Assault vehicle" Ban? What??

[WolfeMacleod]

This might need to be PARF'ed. Picked this up on a guitar forum. This couldn't be an Onion article, could it?

NYS DRIVE Act Would Ban Ferraris and Other "Assault Vehicles"




Just a month after the passage of the New York state Secure Ammunition and Firearms Enforcement Act (SAFE), comes another noble nanny-state proposal from the office of Governor Andrew Cuomo. The New York Directive to Regulate Inessential Vehicle Effectiveness Act (DRIVE) seeks to limit the capabilities of so-called "assault vehicles" which contributed to the deaths of 1,077 people and injury to over 128,000 on New York State roadways in 2011. The city of New York reported another 250 deaths and over 49,000 injuries resulting from vehicular assaults in the same period.

Cuomo stated, "this new law will limit vehicular violence through common sense, and reasonable reforms that will make New York a safer place to live. When society confronts serious issues, it is the function of government to do something, and the NY DRIVE Act will now give New York State the toughest, strongest protections against vehicular violence in the nation."

Provisions in the DRIVE Act would ban multiple makers of vehicles including Lamborghini, Porsche, and Ferrari, as well as many more common models such as the Chevy Corvette and Camaro, Ford Mustang, Dodge Challenger and Charger.

"Classic" versions of these cars (those over 20 years old) would have to be reregistered with the state and have their ignition system removed. Cuomo remarked on the proposal, "these are the vehicles the police use. Citizens don't need these vehicles. These vehicles serve no purpose for defensive driving."

If passed, the DRIVE Act would ban the sale of these "assault vehicles" within New York State. Residents would be required to transfer or sell the vehicles out of state or turn them over to the NYS Department of Motors Vehicles (DMV) within one year. After one year, these vehicles would be banned from operation on NYS roadways. Violation through possession would result in charges of a Class D Felony, punishable by no more than 5 years in prison and a $7,500 fine.

Other provisions of the DRIVE Act include,

— Enhanced Driving Record checks to ensure those who have committed a vehicular crime in the past no longer have access to their weapon of choice.

— Bans on spoilers, low profile tires, ground effects kits, and the color red. In addition to many other speed enhancements.

— Bans on tinted windows for concealed occupant carry.

— Passenger limits of four persons per vehicle. Current vehicle capacity is exempted under the regulations as long as no more than four persons are loaded into the vehicle.

— Bans on passenger vehicles with a curb weight exceeding 4,000 lbs or more than 200 horsepower.

— Bans on commercial pickup trucks with greater than a half-ton bed capacity or greater than 400 foot-pounds of torque.

— Along with mandatory reporting of "large quantity" fuel purchases that could indicate use for illegal activity.

State Assemblyman Sheldon Silver (D) called Cuomo "the Mary Poppins of our time." He went on to say, "under normal circumstances Governor Cuomo would prescribe a spoon full of sugar to make the medicine go down. However in this instance he can not with consideration of the NYS SODA Act on the table." The SODA Act (State Order for Dietary Acceptability) requested by New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg would ban high capacity sugary drinks. Further provisions would seek to prevent the sale of so called "assault milkshakes" which wage daily war on the lactose intolerant.






[edit] Hidden in teeny, tiny text, shows this article under the heading "Satire"
Almost believable though.

[HardDrive]

Can't be real.

[cashflyer]

"these are the vehicles the police use. Citizens don't need these vehicles. These vehicles serve no purpose for defensive driving."

Since this is a turn of what many have said about certain firearms, I would say that this whole thing is a farce. Onion? maybe.

[WolfeMacleod]

Originally Posted by cashflyer

"these are the vehicles the police use. Citizens don't need these vehicles. These vehicles serve no purpose for defensive driving."

Since this is a turn of what many have said about certain firearms, I would say that this whole thing is a farce. Onion? maybe.

Read my Edit. But with the crazy stuff I'm hearing about NY lately, I could see it...

[ossiblue]

You need to look closely at the "source" of this story. Under the "headline", you will find the link to the story which is listed under the heading, satire.

Looks like Wolfe posted his edit while I was typing. Oh well, it never hurts to alert the skim readers.

BTW, that's what makes satire so effective--the fact that the reality of a situation (recent legislation in NY, for example) is not too far removed from the ridiculous satire.

[varmint]

clever parody.


but how many times in the past few years have we seen jokes become reality?

[krystar]

[BlueSkyJaunte]

Coolest. Goat. Ever.

[jwgn777]

I find that hard to believe. I paid taxes and registration fees on my 2 Porsche's and Mustang GT.I guess i'll get a refund? I'll have to contact GM Dodge and Porsche and see how they feel about being band from NY. LOL [/B][/COLOR]

[Mike80911]

Sounds like a joke but living here lately nothing would surprise me. Between the new gun laws and our idiot mayor outlawing soda, salt and now going after ear buds we basically have sat here idle and let our freedoms and right to live as we choose stripped out from under us. If you buy a cup of coffee here the seller is not permited by law to put more than 2 sugars in it so why not outlaw what we drive too? To think that most of the fools in this city voted this dictator in for a third term simply astonishing.

[gprsh924]

Got 1/3 in and knew it was parody. Come on.

[jwgn777]

Originally Posted by Mike80911

Sounds like a joke but living here lately nothing would surprise me. Between the new gun laws and our idiot mayor outlawing soda, salt and now going after ear buds we basically have sat here idle and let our freedoms and right to live as we choose stripped out from under us. If you buy a cup of coffee here the seller is not permited by law to put more than 2 sugars in it so why not outlaw what we drive too? To think that most of the fools in this city voted this dictator in for a third term simply astonishing.

I believe when the mayor is gone at the end of his term this law will be reversed. The gun law a basically the same now as it was years ago and I doubt if that stupid noise / head phone band will ever see the light of day here. And by the way as a union civil servant I was the first one to vote against this dictator.

[Laneco]

Originally Posted by krystar

Needs a freakin' laser on it's head!

angela

[Baz]

Originally Posted by Laneco

Needs a freakin' laser on it's head!

angela

And don't forget the Go Pro camera Angela....we must have video!