Would You Tolerate SO Continued Dialogue With Past Lover?

[afterburn 549]

To be real if its a "X" and its about details..kids money what ever, it is ok.
But if its a past lover,its just a emotional relationship,,and it IS a relationship none the less.....I am not into sharing - and that is where it is going. Period. No one has to admit it, all can pretend they are bigger then the past.
But it is a crash in the future I guarantee it .
If you see a BIG light in the distance, Feel the rumble in the ground....hear the horn..shall you wait till you are absolutely sure you know whats going to happen if you stand there?
Whats the last thing a bug sees when it hits a windshield?
Dont stand there and let it be handed to you

[stomachmonkey]

Originally Posted by LubeMaster77

Interesting take...

So basically you saying that the interaction exsists because of a lack of something in the relationship? Hmmmm...what if there is plenty of sex and what not? Would continuing the banter be founded in a deepseeded need for validation? Interesting....

Oh ya, for thos assuming this has anything to do with me you are committing the first act of assuming...ASS of U and ME. Its not about me but it is about someone I do know very well....

Well for some people it's as simple as they can't resist some strange, or in this case, familiar.

[Vipergrün]

Originally Posted by ForBell

Interesting forum. a guy posts a link re: Lamborghini, he says nothing but sits back 'n waits. he later posts a photo of same, then sits back 'n waits.
now this thread. you guys are lonely.

Ummm, click the "X" in the upper right-hand of your browser..... You don't have to stay here. Perhaps its time to "run Forrest run". Just sayin....

[lendaddy]

The only reason he would ever speak with her is because he wants to drill her, so no... probably not something I would endorse.

As McLovin said though, it's not about letting her do anything, she is an adult and can do whatever she wants. I would however find it wildly disrespectful.

If they have kids together then that is different, but causal chatting = him trying to get laid.

[McLovin]

You netted it out and put it more eloquently than I could, and I thank you for that.

[Don Ro]

Originally Posted by pwd72s

People these days are taught from an early age (Government Schools) to spill their guts about their "feelings" on nearly every topic.

It amazes me that facebook and twitter are so popular.

Oprah...it started w/Oprah. the Spiritual Materialist. She would have topics on the odor & color of human feces & prompt the audience to "share".
And now, her puppet, Dr. Oz has the same topics - and his audience (mostly Black women) stand in line to share their most intimate personal info.
Unhealthy boundaries and a willingness to be led around by the nose.

[afterburn 549]

If you pedal a bicycle is it because you like it? Want to balance it, or just like it ?

[Don Ro]

Originally Posted by Vipergrün

Ummm, click the "X" in the upper right-hand of your browser..... You don't have to stay here. Perhaps its time to "run Forrest run". Just sayin....

Put down that Testosterone syringe, Brad, and share your back pages.

[boba]

Lubby you do come up with interesting topics.

It would seem that many relationships start as friends and can end as friends. It would be a shame if these friends from the past must be cut out of your life because you now are in another relationship. There is either trust and confidence with your partner or there is something still lacking in that relationship. The question is on which side the shortfall exists.
This is not to say that all old relationships are healthy and should be sustained.

[lendaddy]

Originally Posted by LubeMaster77

Interesting take...

So basically you saying that the interaction exsists because of a lack of something in the relationship? Hmmmm...what if there is plenty of sex and what not? Would continuing the banter be founded in a deepseeded need for validation? Interesting....

Oh ya, for thos assuming this has anything to do with me you are committing the first act of assuming...ASS of U and ME. Its not about me but it is about someone I do know very well....

No, sometimes if not often it's just about having ones ego stroked. Everyone likes to be wanted, it's normal. The question is whether or not you care about your spouse enough to consider what your selfish (selfish can be ok) dalliances are costing them.

For instance, when my wife and I go out and some guy hits on her I am not upset in the slightest. I can tell that she is flattered and I'm cool with the momentary ego boost. If he is respectful after the "I'm here with my husband but thank you" type comment I might even buy the guy a drink. My point is that it's not about jealously.

Casual chatting with an ex is also about ego stroking no doubt, but the barriers to action are much less due to the "been there, done that" nature of it. It's just in poor taste and dangerous, people are human and all.....

[McLovin]

Originally Posted by lendaddy

It's just in poor taste and dangerous, people are human and all.....

And the other thing, is it is simply unnecessary.

There are 330,000,000 other people in just the U.S. to be friends with.

Someone should be able to have an active and fulfilling social life without having to have the former sexual partner being part of it.

[lendaddy]

Originally Posted by McLovin

And the other thing, is it is simply unnecessary.

There are 330,000,000 other people in just the U.S. to be friends with.

Someone should be able to have an active and fulfilling social life without having to have the former sexual partner being part of it.

Very good point, but then I think most of us know this type of interaction has very little to do with "friendship" even if that is the excuse. People need to be honest with themselves. To your point though I agree. Even if your spouse is in dire need of a friend they can "really connect with" or some other pycho-gibberish, they can/should probably find one that didn't once tickle their spleen from the inside.

[Jferr006]

I'm not surprised at these responses considering the mostly male audience. You guys don't change much, you're still chasing tail to a degree as to where it's more likey the women is just being friendly. Not always but usually.

[lendaddy]

Originally Posted by Jferr006

I'm not surprised at these responses considering the mostly male audience. You guys don't change much, you're still chasing tail to a degree as to where it's more likey the women is just being friendly. Not always but usually.

he woman may well be just being friendly, probably is even. He however, is either trying to score some box or trying to see how close he can get to stroke his ego.

[afterburn 549]

Originally Posted by Jferr006

I'm not surprised at these responses considering the mostly male audience. You guys don't change much, you're still chasing tail to a degree as to where it's more likey the women is just being friendly. Not always but usually.

Woman always start something by being "friendly,"Not by being abrasive.

[mikesride]

I voted yes because of my own situation I guess. My SO has a great relationship with her Ex and father of her 11 year old son. They share an actual and true 50/50 custody agreement. The step parents (me and his SO) also get along well. This started as a way to make sure the boy was never made to feel like he was in a difficult situation. Now it has grown into friendship, we BBQ at each others houses, sit together at school events and what not.....no drama at all. (guess we are lucky)

[lendaddy]

Originally Posted by mikesride

I voted yes because of my own situation I guess. My SO has a great relationship with her Ex and father of her 11 year old son. They share an actual and true 50/50 custody agreement. The step parents (me and his SO) also get along well. This started as a way to make sure the boy was never made to feel like he was in a difficult situation. Now it has grown into friendship, we BBQ at each others houses, sit together at school events and what not.....no drama at all. (guess we are lucky)

Your situation is totally different and completely ok. It's great that they have a polite relationship under the umbrella of the child. If you were to find her feet up on the couch, glass of wine in hand, chatting on the phone with him about silly stuff that happened that day....well now you have a problem.

[Jferr006]

Quote de Jferr006

I'm not surprised at these responses considering the mostly male audience. You guys don't change much, you're still chasing tail to a degree as to where it's more likey the women is just being friendly. Not always but usually.

he woman may well be just being friendly, probably is even. He however, is either trying to score some box or trying to see how close he can get to stroke his ego.

My point exactly which is why the guys are the ones that are absolutely against it, because they know what other guys are up to. Women think we can theoretically have this plutonic relationship. It's not always the case some women know exactly what they are doing by talking to an ex

[scottmandue]

Originally Posted by Jferr006

I'm not surprised at these responses considering the mostly male audience. You guys don't change much, you're still chasing tail to a degree as to where it's more likey the women is just being friendly. Not always but usually.

Someone said "modern society has got to the point where being nice is considered flirting".

Kinda like me opening a door for a lady as a random act of kindness... and get the "what do you want?" look.

[Jferr006]

Quote de Jferr006

I'm not surprised at these responses considering the mostly male audience. You guys don't change much, you're still chasing tail to a degree as to where it's more likey the women is just being friendly. Not always but usually.

Someone said "modern society has got to the point where being nice is considered flirting".



Kinda like me opening a door for a lady as a random act of kindness... and get the "what do you want?" look.

You think thats bad...
I was leaving the gym the other day and as I'm opening the door and walking through I see a kind of creepy looking guy approaching, he's maybe mid 40's early 50's. so I hold the door like I would for anyone and he looks at me with a blank stare, says "that's ok" and as soon as I walk away he opens the door himself. Wtf!!!