Would You Tolerate SO Continued Dialogue With Past Lover?

[M.D. Holloway]

Would you tolerate your significant others dialogue with a past lover?

[Jim Richards]

No

[onewhippedpuppy]

Only if we both can have our fun.

Short answer is no, there's nothing positive that can come of that.

[scottmandue]

Wife has a daughter (now 19 years old and off to college) with her ex...

However I would not nessaraly classify what goes between her and him as "dialogue"

He has moved in with his girlfriend and lives 1000 miles away so I'm not losing any sleep.

[McLovin]

Nope.

That is terribly disrespectful. And unnecessary.

It's basically a big "F-you" to you.

[Jferr006]

I talk to my ex on fb from time to time..usually about cars or something, we're both happily married/no hard feelings. We don't hang out or anything. Hubs knows we chat sometimes. He's chatted with exs. Not something to be done often or with careless abandon.

[Jim Bremner]

depends. I would come home and my wife's ex would be on the couch playing xbox with his sons and my stepsons he was drinking my beer but my plumbing issue was fixed. I felt no issue there.

Now I have seen others where the eyes tell more.

[ForBell]

Interesting forum. a guy posts a link re: Lamborghini, he says nothing but sits back 'n waits. he later posts a photo of same, then sits back 'n waits.
now this thread. you guys are lonely.

[pwd72s]

People these days are taught from an early age (Government Schools) to spill their guts about their "feelings" on nearly every topic.

It amazes me that facebook and twitter are so popular.

[cockerpunk]

no problem with it at all. and if she didn't let me talk to whomever i wanted to, i'd leave in a heartbeat.

[varmint]

i have an ex who calls me every couple months. i am certain she's doing just to tick off her husband. annoying, disrespectful and nothing good can come of it.

[McLovin]

Originally Posted by cockerpunk

no problem with it at all. and if she didn't let me talk to whomever i wanted to, i'd leave in a heartbeat.

A spouse can't "let" or "not let" you talk to someone else. When she's not around you could of course call whoever you want - your spouse can't stop that.

A spouse, however, could ask that you not continue to have contact with past girlfriends.

Whether you choose to respect that request or not is up to you.

(And, IMO, says a lot about you, your relationship with your spouse, and your value of that relationship).

(By using "you" I don't mean you specifically or personally, I mean it generally)

[fintstone]

Only if her ex was a lesbian porn star. Just sayin...

[fintstone]

She can come over any time.

[Aragorn]

I love reading these threads. I wouldn't post anything personal in 'em, but I sure do love reading them.

[GH85Carrera]

Sure, she talks about him on occasion. His name is A**hole Bill. Any contact with him would be a string of profanity. Did I mention she does not care much for him.

[stomachmonkey]

Meh, the girl I was involved with before meeting my wife was at our wedding 19 years ago. She is even friends with my wife on FB an is not the only ex maintain contact with.

When my wife's friends found out that "A" was coming to the wedding they asked my wife why she was "putting up with it". Wife replied "he's marrying me, if I had to worry about other woman I wouldn't be marrying him"

So the question for those that its an issue is which one of you did what to create mistrust in your relationship?

[black_falcon]

Absolutely disrespectful. Once that line of communication has been opened back up, it doesn't take much to stir up old feelings either. Cheating starts long before the pants hit the ground. I'm sure we've all seen it 100x.

This is why I always lay down the law and express my expectations early on in the relationship. Significant others need to know you have boundaries and there will be consequences if they cross them.

[McLovin]

So the question for those whose spouses feel the need to have continuing communications with former sexual partners, what is it that is lacking in your relationship that is not allowing your spouse to let go of his/her sexual past?

[M.D. Holloway]

Interesting take...

So basically you saying that the interaction exsists because of a lack of something in the relationship? Hmmmm...what if there is plenty of sex and what not? Would continuing the banter be founded in a deepseeded need for validation? Interesting....

Oh ya, for thos assuming this has anything to do with me you are committing the first act of assuming...ASS of U and ME. Its not about me but it is about someone I do know very well....