Waiters asking for names at dinner, new trend?

[RWebb]

I guess we need a poll on how often people eat out - I do about 6x/month or more - weekly boozefest + monthly high-end boozefest; sometimes for lunches -- but my excuse is I grew up in Louisiana...

[Zeke]

Baz, I have a SIL who is like that. I won't go out with her or any of the family unless it's absolutely necessary (about once every 2 years). In fact, I stayed home today while the wife went to the nephew's 50th BD party.

I see what you are saying now.

[speeder]

Well, I don't.

[Bill Douglas]

Originally Posted by BE911SC

Or Dick. Hey Dick, how would you like your steak?

I could reply but don't want to get sent to the Island.

[speeder]

Originally Posted by Baz

Sure - here goes another way to put it.....

I believe that there are those who enjoy dining out because they are waited on "hand and foot".

You can call me crazy but I also believe most of them don't realize it but subconsciously they feel like better persons because they have those who fetch food and drink for them - and are at their beck and call.

In other words for the period they are dining out they have "slaves".

I know that sounds pretty far out there and I'm OK if no one else agrees with my theory.

Remember this does not apply to you who are reading this necessarily - just those certain folks who love the idea of being 'treated' by going out for dinner and drinks. The treat is having others wait on you.

It's a mental state and as I said many don't consciously realize it - they just look at dining out as a positive - even when it's not a positive because of all the things that can go wrong. (At least they have someone waiting on them - thus the positive).

Since you mentioned me by name when you said this the first time, I will respond. I for one don't need to be "waited on hand and foot", and I specifically stated that overly obsequies servers are really annoying. Do you know what obsequies means?

I like competence in all things, including restaurant servers or wait staff. I do not consider myself better than them in any way and in fact have done their job. I'd do it again without hesitation if I needed work and someone would hire me. I think that there is dignity in work, period, and that there is no job that is beneath me or that cannot be done with one's head held high as long as you do it well.

I eat out because I'm hungry, single and I don't cook. I'm also never at home, (not much anyways), so eat at a lot of diners and inexpensive places. Actually, I eat at one particular diner a lot that is owned by a guy I used to work for in restaurants 20 years ago. The waiters and waitresses are mostly young people and a lot of the support staff are latino guys, very hard-working with fantastic attitudes. I'm proud to say that I'm pretty well liked in that joint, based on the reception I get when I slide in several times a week. I tip well, don't bother the hot little chicks serving the food and I don't treat the immigrant guys like I'm better than them.

I don't think of people serving me food as slaves and I sure as hell don't want to be waited on like I'm some prima donna. I just want them to drop off the food and be reasonably available when I'm ready for the check or want a glass of water, etc. I would do their job and do it well. I think that restaurants are the most logical business in the world--people need to eat. And people like to eat really good food, if they can afford it.

[Geronimo '74]

Originally Posted by Baz

In other words for the period they are dining out they have "slaves".

Hey, I didn't invent the concept of going out to eat...
Last time I walked into the kitchen to get my food myself, I got some real funny looks....
I have never treated a waiter as a slave, and I expect to be treated as a paying customer, not as close buddy...
Friends and strangers are two different people and should be adressed/spoken to in different ways.
It's not because you just asked my name that you can consider me a friend and use my first name all of a sudden...

[Bill Douglas]

I remember a quote from somewhere. "Always be polite to your waitress; she may be performing your vasectomy in a few years."

[speeder]

I thought it was strippers, not waitresses. They are the ones who are always in med school.

[Bill Douglas]

Originally Posted by speeder

I thought it was strippers, not waitresses. They are the ones who are always in med school.

I didn't know that.


I've never been, umm, that polite to a stripper.

[widgeon13]

I've been to some fine restaurants where the captain and waiter know my name because I made the reservation, that's all they're getting from me. I'm not there to make new friends just have a nice dinner now go away until you're needed.

[Baz]

Originally Posted by speeder

Since you mentioned me by name when you said this the first time, I will respond. I for one don't need to be "waited on hand and foot", and I specifically stated that overly obsequies servers are really annoying. Do you know what obsequies means?

I like competence in all things, including restaurant servers or wait staff. I do not consider myself better than them in any way and in fact have done their job. I'd do it again without hesitation if I needed work and someone would hire me. I think that there is dignity in work, period, and that there is no job that is beneath me or that cannot be done with one's head held high as long as you do it well.

I eat out because I'm hungry, single and I don't cook. I'm also never at home, (not much anyways), so eat at a lot of diners and inexpensive places. Actually, I eat at one particular diner a lot that is owned by a guy I used to work for in restaurants 20 years ago. The waiters and waitresses are mostly young people and a lot of the support staff are latino guys, very hard-working with fantastic attitudes. I'm proud to say that I'm pretty well liked in that joint, based on the reception I get when I slide in several times a week. I tip well, don't bother the hot little chicks serving the food and I don't treat the immigrant guys like I'm better than them.

I don't think of people serving me food as slaves and I sure as hell don't want to be waited on like I'm some prima donna. I just want them to drop off the food and be reasonably available when I'm ready for the check or want a glass of water, etc. I would do their job and do it well. I think that restaurants are the most logical business in the world--people need to eat. And people like to eat really good food, if they can afford it.

Denis, I mentioned your name as an example of those who do not exhibit this "fantasy" of being waited on hand and foot. You had mentioned how much you despise those who "abuse" their wait staff...refer to them as the "help". Sorry for the confusion - I was agreeing with you.

[KevinTodd]

Originally Posted by Baz

Denis, I mentioned your name as an example of those who do not exhibit this "fantasy" of being waited on hand and foot.

Baz,

I think you sum this up perfectly.

[Baz]

Originally Posted by KevinTodd

Baz,

I think you sum this up perfectly.

Thanks Kevin.

Just a theory I have about why certain folks look at dining out as a treat.

They enjoy the "servitude" factor.

[esample]

I was taught that the way you treat the wait-staff is an indication of character.

-e.

[VINMAN]

I tended bar in a restaurant and my wife was a restaurant manager for a long time. I've seen customers act like complete scumbags towards waitstaff. I have no tolerance for that. My wife had one A-hole talk down so badly to a waitress, she broke into tears. She politely ( in her own way...) asked him and the rest of the table to leave the place and tossed him out.

[VINMAN]

Originally Posted by Baz

Thanks Kevin.

Just a theory I have about why certain folks look at dining out as a treat.

They enjoy the "servitude" factor.

If you give me a choice between dining in a " five star / Michelin/ Zagats rated highbrow place , with fancy waitstaff, and a wine steward, or a roadside stand near the water, where they hand me my food over a counter and i sit at a picnics table, guess which one I choose.

[DonDavis]

Originally Posted by speeder

Do you know what obsequies means?

Obsequies - Noun, Funeral rites

Obsequious - Adjective, Obedient or attentive to an excessive or servile degree

I'm fairly certain you intended to use the latter.

[dtw]

Originally Posted by Baz

Thanks Kevin.

Just a theory I have about why certain folks look at dining out as a treat.

They enjoy the "servitude" factor.

Well then since you won't just call anyone out we'll keep guessing. If it was me, I wasn't trying to conjure any Grey Poupon images by saying 'the help' and I apologize if it sounded pejorative. I worked in foodservice for years and have been dumped on by the worst types of people. No, I never did anything to their food. Still, those experiences ensured I'm always polite and appreciative to wait staff, and I have zero interest in being served 'hand and foot'. Get my order right, slap it down in front of me, keep the water glass full, I'm happy as a clam. I just don't want to be best friends.

Vinny, I can be happy in either environment but the roadside dive has a greater chance of success with me. Pretty sure you walked by me at Hershey while I was sitting on a bench eating a cheese steak. There was no Grey Poupon there either, but I struggled through somehow.

[berettafan]

Would never return to a restaurant where the waiter asked my name. It is unquestionably cheesy.

Quality service is stfu and don't make me ask for ANYTHING. Let the food do the talking.

[berettafan]

Originally Posted by stomachmonkey

I'll bet you the bill that if you and I go to the same restaurant at the same time and get the same waiter, I'm going to get better service.

I don't think so. You'll get some story played out in the hopes of a bigger tip. That isn't service, imo.