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Registered ConfUser
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Waterlogged
Posts: 23,463
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No such thing as a perfect relationship. You're probably overlooking 10 aspects that are positive and focusing on 1 or 2 you don't like. Bottom line, don't put anyone through this if you're not 100% sure this must happen. Being alone isn't great either. Have you had an honest conversation with her about your relationship? If you've got issues, I'm betting she does too.
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Registered
Join Date: Dec 2001
Location: Cambridge, MA
Posts: 44,278
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I don't understand why you haven't talked with her about this.
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Tru6 Restoration & Design |
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durn for'ner
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: South of Sweden
Posts: 17,090
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My first thought was - does she not already know or have a suspicion you are on your way? People in relationships tend to be sensitive to signals. I bet she will not be too surprised.
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Markus Resident Fluffer Carrera '85 |
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UnRegistered User
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Great advice from Laneco!
Like was already mentioned she may already know. If you have made up your mind just get it done.
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Bill K. "I started out with nothin and I still got most of it left...." 83 911 SC Guards Red (now gone) And I sold a bunch of parts I hadn't installed yet. |
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Misunderstood User
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Yep!
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Jim 1983 944n/a 2003 Mercedes CLK 500 - totaled. Sanwiched on the Kennedy Expressway |
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Registered
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OK, Guys and Gals.....
We are heading to family counselling next week.....me, her, her son, my daughter..... I don't pretend to know what the right thing is, but some of you and ALL my "real world" friends have told me that things are probably not as bad as they look to me and that this lady is worth holding on to. I always thought of counselling as to "new world" or "pansy"......something I need to get over and quick!!! Cause if I'm gonna do it, I need to get something out of it. THE LONG AND SHORT OF IT IS.....Any suggestions from personal experience, or good books/websites I guy could use that would help him become more open minded to the process would be VERY WELCOMED....
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I've driven alot of crap to get here man! |
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Registered
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There is nothing wrong with counselling. New world or pansy it is not. Don't expect the counselor to be spot on. He/she is a facilitator not a magician. There are few Dr. Phil's in the world. Give it a good honest try and be objective and not subjective about it. If your GF's son can be helped, then that may be a big part of the problem solved.....
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Vafri
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Worldwide
Posts: 2,144
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What Angela said.
Gospel. 'Nuff said |
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Registered
Join Date: Oct 2004
Posts: 15,612
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Hang in there Mike. Give it your all. Regret is a *****.
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Targa, Panamera Turbo
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Houston TX
Posts: 22,366
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I'm not a huge fan of counselling - maybe because it just seems like its always just rehashing various events. I don't know the answer obviously but there is something to be said for various techneques or ways to do things - ground rules I guess.
The kid bugs you right? First off how old is he? What does he do? Does he have a problem mentally? If its that he is poorly behaved then you and momma gots to have a talk about who be the boss and how stuff is to be done. Ground rules. if there is a breach there gotta be consequences right? I think just maybe you been a bit soft thinking it ain;t your place cuz you and momma been shacking up with no nuptuals so there for it ain't legit and what right you gots with little Johnny. Maybe I'm wrong but I thing you and momma gotta sit down and agree on how your home is gonna run. Now you also got a daughter right? how is that between the two of them? I'm no expert on anything but failure so I will say with certainty, you little girl is boiling inside no matter how well she seems outside. her momma ain't with her and she has to share you with your GF. Dude, no shrink needed here. She is going to give you a run if she hasn't already. Plus she see's Johnny running rought shot over her daddy? Hmmm. I don't know how hard you come down but this living sitch has the makings of a serious nightmare if a strong hand isn't laid down. You best have a come to Jesus meeting with momma about how the kiddos are going to be brought up. Who has authority and who can lay down the law and when. Little Johnny isn't just gonna show you respect until you earn it. Your not his daddy and frankly he could care less about you. If this women is worth a future you will have to step up and take a leadership role - ain't no time to be a panty waist - there be chill'ns involved now. ...seriously though, I think you and your lady need to define roles and responcibilities and work together on a pretty constant basis to run your family according to some standards you argee upon.
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Michael D. Holloway https://simple.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Michael_D._Holloway https://5thorderindustry.com/ https://www.amazon.com/s?k=michael+d+holloway&crid=3AWD8RUVY3E2F&sprefix= michael+d+holloway%2Caps%2C136&ref=nb_sb_noss_1 |
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Targa, Panamera Turbo
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Houston TX
Posts: 22,366
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or just drop her like a wet turd and hit on her friend...
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Michael D. Holloway https://simple.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Michael_D._Holloway https://5thorderindustry.com/ https://www.amazon.com/s?k=michael+d+holloway&crid=3AWD8RUVY3E2F&sprefix= michael+d+holloway%2Caps%2C136&ref=nb_sb_noss_1 |
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