how would you end a relationship?

[mikesride]

I think I am in a relationship that has run its course, this is an amazing lady who does not deserve to get hurt. Her son drives me absolutely mad.....and I have reached my boiling point.
She moved into my house three years ago.....so I know there will be issues with settlements et all, I get that.
My issue is how to do this without causing any un do pain...We share a tight circle of friends so being able to deal with each other socially after the breakup would be nice.
I feel like a horrible person...but I think its time for me to happy, I am often my happiest when on my own.....

[Rick V]

Just tell her what you just told us. Yank the bandaid off quickly

[mossguy]

Mike, this is starting to sound like a Saturday Night Live Roseanne Roseannadanna "If it ain't one thing, it's another" skit.

[nostatic]

Different Mike.

Then again, there does seem to be a pattern with Mikes. Hmmm...

[Rick Lee]

Gonna be tough with child and years of co-habitation. I see lawyers in your future.

[mossguy]

Originally Posted by nostatic

Different Mike.

Then again, there does seem to be a pattern with Mikes. Hmmm...

My apologies, Mike. I confused you with the other Mike, Thanks Todd.

[LeeH]

Do you want to break up with her or her son?

[flatbutt]

IMHO you should leave the son out of it. Don't blame anyone. Just tell her you're done. You're sorry of course but it's just not what you thought it would be and it's not what you want.

Three years co-hab shouldn't be a big issue.

[mikesride]

I could carry on this relationship easier without the son but really I am starting to feel really disconnected with the whole thing.

The kid is only here every second week but its like the week from hell for me. I guess I just don't have the patience I once had....I have done the kids and family thing already, kinda looking forward to some extra freedom. Sounds very selfish as I type this out, but shoot.....shouldn't I be living this life for me???

Rosana rosanadana.......classic! NOT THAT MIKE........ but pretty F'd up in my own right!

[flatbutt]

Well you're certainly entitled to live for yourself. But then you're likely to be alone alot. I live for me and my kids but haven't had a long term hunny in 20 years. I've recently reconsidered my position.

[herr_oberst]

Originally Posted by nostatic

Different Mike.

Then again, there does seem to be a pattern with Mikes. Hmmm...

Ha ha! Hey... wait a minute!

[Zeke]

I agree with #2 but it won't be easy. You might ask her about it. You never know, the same thing may be going through her mind. Probably is.

Does she have the funds to move out and be on her own?

Seriously, I would go to her and say things aren't working out. And, what does she think? If she agrees, you're more than half way there.

[Shaun @ Tru6]

Does she know her son drives you crazy?

[tevake]

Maybe instead of ending the relationship you could suggest a change in living arraignment.

She will have to live some where else any way. Perhaps not having to deal with the son will let the good parts of the relationship come to the fore again.

[DARISC]

removed - ns

[rusnak]

Tell her "it's not you, it's me".

[BK911]

If you truly care just be honest.
If she truly cares she will understand.

[mikesride]

Originally Posted by DARISC

removed - ns

No.....actually I don't know who to talk to about this before talking to her.
Its tearing me up inside.
I have had some great solutions and ideas from others on THIS forum.
Sometimes when you soul search its nice to see what others would do in your situation.
I'm sorry if it felt like a waste of your time.

[sc_rufctr]

As you know there is no nice way of doing this so just end it.

She may ask why? Tell her why. It may be painful to hear your reasons but at least she'll know.
And something to keep in mind.

It's not about being cruel or kind, it's about being honest. She deserves that.

[A930Rocket]

Cue "50 ways to leave your lover"...