Put a fork in it...seriously?

[Don Plumley]

Fork In Penis Removed After 70-Year-Old Man Stuffs 4-Inch Utensil Into His Urethra

According to a report published in the International Journal of Surgery Cases earlier this month, the Canberra man was admitted to the hospital with "bleeding urethral meatus" after he stuffed a 4-inch fork into his urethra in an attempt to "achieve sexual gratification."

Fortunately, the report says the fork was successfully removed using forceps and "copious lubrication."

Here's the published manuscript from the International Journal of Surgery. A few highlights (worth reading - plus full color photo of the extraction!)

INTRODUCTION: Lower urinary tract foreign body insertions have a low incidence. The motives for insertion of a variety of objects are difficult to comprehend. This case warrants discussion given the great management challenge faced by the oddity and infrequency with which a fork is encountered in the penile urethra.

Self-inserted male urethral foreign bodies are rare emergencies that urological and general surgeons may face. Urethral foreign body insertions are an unusual practice in which any imaginable object is known to be implicated.

The practice manifests primarily during states of pathological masturbation, substance abuse and intoxication and as a result of psychological compounders. Autoerotic stimulation with the aid of self-inserted urethral foreign bodies has been existent since time immemorial and have presented an unusual but known presentation to Urologists. The presentation is however delayed owing to the fundamental emotion of embarrassment.

If one reviews current literature, it is apparent that the human mind is uninhibited let alone creative. The wide array of self-inserted foreign bodies include needles, pencils, ball point pens, pen lids, garden wire, copper wire, speaker wire, safety pins, Allen keys), wire-like objects (telephone cables, rubber tubes, feeding tubes, straws, string), toothbrushes, household batteries, light bulbs, marbles, cotton tip swabs, plastic cups, thermomethers, plants and vegetables (carrot, cucumber, beans, hay, bamboo sticks, grass leaves), parts of animals (leeches, squirrel tail, snakes, bones), toys, pieces of latex gloves, blue tack, Intrauterine Contraceptive Devices (IUCD), tampons, pessaries, powders (cocaine), fluids (glue, hot wax)

Dude, you stuck a fork in your dick!

[red-beard]

A fork downunder?

[Crowbob]

'Psychological compounders'? I don't think so. That guy is forked up!

[nostatic]

It hurt just reading this.

[BeyGon]

There has to be a better way, if I make 70 I WILL NOT DO THAT.

[widgeon13]

Did it say why he did this? Chopsticks would have been easier!

[Crowbob]

Batteries? Plastic cups? GLUE?

Good Lord.

In college I used to study in one of the medical libaries on campus. Some interesting pitchures in those books I will tell you. The dermatology textbooks were way more interesting than my statistics homework I found out. Wish I had a You Tube of my expressions.

[weseeeee]

It gave me a chill just seeing the x ray!

[tweezers74]

Oh fellas! Do I have stories to tell you! Or talk to an ER nurse or Doc... They have seen everything. One time I heard of an ER shutting down and diverting their trauma cases to ours since a gentleman had a foreign object up his tush he claimed was a bomb and under x-ray, it looked like a box with wires out of it. Got about a hundred more stories...

[FLYGEEZER]

Wtf ?????????

[tweezers74]

I had an ER doc say once," at least be smart about it and attach a string."

[Zeke]

Ask an ER surgeon about a glass in the ass.

[red-beard]

My ex-wife worked night-shift in a Hospital in central Mass. The pictures and stories were amusing and painful.

The two really bad ones:

1) The man with a Statue of Liberty up his, well, you know. They had copies of the x-rays. I was told the arm with the book made removal difficult.

2) The artist trying to make a perfect model of poop. He shoved Plaster of Paris up his bung hole and then tried to, uh poop. He waited too long...

[Don Plumley]

Buried somewhere deep in the male reptile brain, somewhere between breathing and eating, is an instinct that says, "IF see a hole THEN stick something in it"

Electrical outlet - check.
Nose - check.
Vag - check.

Dude. A fork? Gotta give him credit for not going tine end in first I guess.

[porsche4life]

I hear stories like this... And I always wonder what the guys BAC was at the time of the act...


Because I hope to god a sober man wouldn't think that sounded like a good idea

[craigster59]

I don't know. Seems a bit along the lines of Albert Fish. If you want to read about one effed up individual, that would be him: Albert Fish - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

He stuck needles all around his pelvis and other nasty things.... "It was about this time that Fish began to indulge in self-harm. He would embed needles into his groin and abdomen.[11] After his arrest, X-rays revealed that Fish had at least 29 needles lodged in his pelvic region.[11] He also hit himself repeatedly with a nail-studded paddle and inserted wool doused with lighter fluid into his anus and set it alight"

[herr_oberst]

Life in the fast lane.

[vash]

at LEAST it looks like a salad fork or kid fork
that would be really perverted if it was a dinner fork.

[sc_rufctr]

awwwwwwww

[Hawktel]

Err.... Thats a pisser.