Why Gen Y is unhappy

[red-beard]

wait but why: Why Generation Y Yuppies Are Unhappy

Say hi to Lucy.



Lucy is part of Generation Y, the generation born between the late 1970s and the mid 1990s. She's also part of a yuppie culture that makes up a large portion of Gen Y.

I have a term for yuppies in the Gen Y age group -- I call them Gen Y Protagonists & Special Yuppies, or GYPSYs. A GYPSY is a unique brand of yuppie, one who thinks they are the main character of a very special story.

So Lucy's enjoying her GYPSY life, and she's very pleased to be Lucy. Only issue is this one thing:

Lucy's kind of unhappy.

To get to the bottom of why, we need to define what makes someone happy or unhappy in the first place. It comes down to a simple formula:



It's pretty straightforward -- when the reality of someone's life is better than they had expected, they're happy. When reality turns out to be worse than the expectations, they're unhappy.

To provide some context, let's start by bringing Lucy's parents into the discussion:



Lucy's parents were born in the '50s -- they're Baby Boomers. They were raised by Lucy's grandparents, members of the G.I. Generation, or "the Greatest Generation," who grew up during the Great Depression and fought in World War II, and were most definitely not GYPSYs.






Lucy's Depression Era grandparents were obsessed with economic security and raised her parents to build practical, secure careers. They wanted her parents' careers to have greener grass than their own, and Lucy's parents were brought up to envision a prosperous and stable career for themselves. Something like this:

20

They were taught that there was nothing stopping them from getting to that lush, green lawn of a career, but that they'd need to put in years of hard work to make it happen.



After graduating from being insufferable hippies, Lucy's parents embarked on their careers. As the '70s, '80s, and '90s rolled along, the world entered a time of unprecedented economic prosperity. Lucy's parents did even better than they expected to. This left them feeling gratified and optimistic.




With a smoother, more positive life experience than that of their own parents, Lucy's parents raised Lucy with a sense of optimism and unbounded possibility. And they weren't alone. Baby Boomers all around the country and world told their Gen Y kids that they could be whatever they wanted to be, instilling the special protagonist identity deep within their psyches.

This left GYPSYs feeling tremendously hopeful about their careers, to the point where their parents' goals of a green lawn of secure prosperity didn't really do it for them. A GYPSY-worthy lawn has flowers.



This leads to our first fact about GYPSYs:

GYPSYs Are Wildly Ambitious



The GYPSY needs a lot more from a career than a nice green lawn of prosperity and security. The fact is, a green lawn isn't quite exceptional or unique enough for a GYPSY. Where the Baby Boomers wanted to live The American Dream, GYPSYs want to live Their Own Personal Dream.

[red-beard]

Part 2)

Cal Newport points out that "follow your passion" is a catchphrase that has only gotten going in the last 20 years, according to Google's Ngram viewer, a tool that shows how prominently a given phrase appears in English print over any period of time. The same Ngram viewer shows that the phrase "a secure career" has gone out of style, just as the phrase "a fulfilling career" has gotten hot.










To be clear, GYPSYs want economic prosperity just like their parents did -- they just also want to be fulfilled by their career in a way their parents didn't think about as much.

But something else is happening too. While the career goals of Gen Y as a whole have become much more particular and ambitious, Lucy has been given a second message throughout her childhood as well:




This would probably be a good time to bring in our second fact about GYPSYs:

GYPSYs Are Delusional

"Sure," Lucy has been taught, "everyone will go and get themselves some fulfilling career, but I am unusually wonderful and as such, my career and life path will stand out amongst the crowd." So on top of the generation as a whole having the bold goal of a flowery career lawn, each individual GYPSY thinks that he or she is destined for something even better --

A shiny unicorn on top of the flowery lawn.







So why is this delusional? Because this is what all GYPSYs think! which defies the definition of special:



spe-cial | 'speSHel |
adjective
better, greater, or otherwise different from what is usual.


According to this definition, most people are not special -- otherwise "special" wouldn't mean anything.

Even right now, the GYPSYs reading this are thinking, "Good point... but I actually am one of the few special ones" -- and this is the problem.

A second GYPSY delusion comes into play once the GYPSY enters the job market. While Lucy's parents' expectation was that many years of hard work would eventually lead to a great career, Lucy considers a great career an obvious given for someone as exceptional as she, and for her it's just a matter of time and choosing which way to go. Her pre-workforce expectations look something like this:






Unfortunately, the funny thing about the world is that it turns out to not be that easy of a place, and the weird thing about careers is that they're actually quite hard. Great careers take years of blood, sweat and tears to build -- even the ones with no flowers or unicorns on them -- and even the most successful people are rarely doing anything that great in their early or mid-20s.

But GYPSYs aren't about to just accept that.

Paul Harvey, a University of New Hampshire professor and GYPSY expert, has researched this, finding that Gen Y has "unrealistic expectations and a strong resistance toward accepting negative feedback," and "an inflated view of oneself." He says that "a great source of frustration for people with a strong sense of entitlement is unmet expectations. They often feel entitled to a level of respect and rewards that aren't in line with their actual ability and effort levels, and so they might not get the level of respect and rewards they are expecting."

For those hiring members of Gen Y, Harvey suggests asking the interview question, "Do you feel you are generally superior to your coworkers/classmates/etc., and if so, why?" He says that "if the candidate answers yes to the first part but struggles with the 'why,' there may be an entitlement issue. This is because entitlement perceptions are often based on an unfounded sense of superiority and deservingness. They've been led to believe, perhaps through overzealous self-esteem building exercises in their youth, that they are somehow special but often lack any real justification for this belief."

And since the real world has the nerve to consider merit a factor, a few years out of college Lucy finds herself here:



Lucy's extreme ambition, coupled with the arrogance that comes along with being a bit deluded about one's own self-worth, has left her with huge expectations for even the early years out of college. And her reality pales in comparison to those expectations, leaving her "reality - expectations" happy score coming out at a negative.

And it gets even worse. On top of all this, GYPSYs have an extra problem that applies to their whole generation:

GYPSYs Are Taunted

Sure, some people from Lucy's parents' high school or college classes ended up more successful than her parents did. And while they may have heard about some of it from time to time through the grapevine, for the most part they didn't really know what was going on in too many other peoples' careers.

Lucy, on the other hand, finds herself constantly taunted by a modern phenomenon: Facebook Image Crafting.

Social media creates a world for Lucy where A) what everyone else is doing is very out in the open, B) most people present an inflated version of their own existence, and C) the people who chime in the most about their careers are usually those whose careers (or relationships) are going the best, while struggling people tend not to broadcast their situation. This leaves Lucy feeling, incorrectly, like everyone else is doing really well, only adding to her misery:




So that's why Lucy is unhappy, or at the least, feeling a bit frustrated and inadequate. In fact, she's probably started off her career perfectly well, but to her, it feels very disappointing.

Here's my advice for Lucy:

1) Stay wildly ambitious. The current world is bubbling with opportunity for an ambitious person to find flowery, fulfilling success. The specific direction may be unclear, but it'll work itself out -- just dive in somewhere.

2) Stop thinking that you're special. The fact is, right now, you're not special. You're another completely inexperienced young person who doesn't have all that much to offer yet. You can become special by working really hard for a long time.

3) Ignore everyone else. Other people's grass seeming greener is no new concept, but in today's image crafting world, other people's grass looks like a glorious meadow. The truth is that everyone else is just as indecisive, self-doubting, and frustrated as you are, and if you just do your thing, you'll never have any reason to envy others.

[BRPORSCHE]

I had seen that awhile back...and about die everytime I see it. This hits waaaaaaaaay to close to home for a lot of my friends.

And the graphs. Oh.my.god the graphs are effing hilarious.

[red-beard]

I love the Unicorn:



It is farting fairy dust and spewing a rainbow!

[Nostril Cheese]

It's always amusing to see what old people from Texas think of my so-called generation.

[BRPORSCHE]

Old people eh?

I am 26! And James has a young soul.

[gacook]

While I found this quite humorous and somewhat representative of what I've seen of a lot of younger folks, I kinda resent being lumped in with Gen Y people.

I was born in '77, so technically foot the bill of Gen Y, but this is nothing like how I was raised, or most people my age that I know.

[red-beard]

I'm Gen-X. We did not grow up with "My little Pony" or Captain Planet. We watched the real Scooby Doo and Bugs Bunny where he and Yosemite Sam would get blown up.

I think we were realistic. My parents were the war "tweeners". They grew up in the Great Depression but were only kids/teenagers during WWII. My dad was in the service during the Korean war. They had the same values as "Greatest Generation".

I've managed a lot of Gen Y people, and the article is spot on for many. And the Facebook stuff really matches what I see.

[Danimal16]

Originally Posted by Nostril Cheese

It's always amusing to see what old people from Texas think of my so-called generation.

We are old. With it comes certain experience and certain realizations. The funny thing is we are no different than you or even our WWII parents. The World is a total ***** it does not care about any of us. Just realizing that will help with the happiness thing.

[mossguy]

They grew up in the Great Depression but were only kids/teenagers during WWII.

James, this part of your statement seems contradictory, or am I reading it wrong?

Tom

[GH85Carrera]

The depression was mostly from 1930 to WW2. The shortages for the war were widespread.

My parents were both born in 1930. They certainly remembered the depression. I have some of the ration books they had during WW2. They were young teenagers when the war ended. My dad joined the Air Force in 1954.

Imagine the outcry if the government issued a ration card for any product today. Just because your tires are worn out does not mean you will be allowed to buy new tires. Imagine rationing at the grocery store. Yea, it really happened.

[gacook]

Originally Posted by GH85Carrera

The depression was mostly from 1930 to WW2. The shortages for the war were widespread.

My parents were both born in 1930. They certainly remembered the depression. I have some of the ration books they had during WW2. They were young teenagers when the war ended. My dad joined the Air Force in 1954.

Imagine the outcry if the government issued a ration card for any product today. Just because your tires are worn out does not mean you will be allowed to buy new tires. Imagine rationing at the grocery store. Yea, it really happened.

Not TOO hard to imagine for those of us who've been stationed overseas. In Korea and Germany, we were rationed on various items, such as tobacco, alcohol, gasoline, some food products...

[matt711]

Most Americans today don't even know anyone that has been to Iraq or Afganistan. The wars don't touch home in the same way that WWII, Korea, or Vietnam did.

[gacook]

Originally Posted by matt711

Most Americans today don't even know anyone that has been to Iraq or Afganistan. The wars don't touch home in the same way that WWII, Korea, or Vietnam did.

Very true.

BUT, I think a part of that is the internet, as well. We've been so inundated by "details" of what's happening/happened over there, that people start tuning it out. Since they may not personally know anyone involved, it's "just another 10 dead soldiers" to them--desensitized.

[matt711]

That sounds about right. Even my family isn't immune. My aunt asked me (last week) if I was going to have to go back to Iraq... I just said no, didnt have the heart to tell that iraq was over.

[speeder]

My parents were born in 1932, so technically they "grew up in the Great Depression", but were very small children an then were 10-13 years old during our involvement in WW2. I would agree that their age group had basically the same set of values imparted in them as the WW2 aged service members, who were only a few years older.

[Jim Richards]

My parents were young adults during WWII, and my father served in Asia while a junior officer in the Army. For the most part, my values are the same as theirs. Well, except for maybe the 2-martini lunch.

I'd shy away from the stereotypes presented by the OP. It's never that simple.

[Jrboulder]

Most Americans today don't even know anyone that has been to Iraq or Afganistan. The wars don't touch home in the same way that WWII, Korea, or Vietnam did.

That's because most of the people (and almost all of the yuppies) in my generation consider the millitary somewhere you go if you're poor, dumb, or just want to shoot people (I'm not kidding) and seeing as there's no draft there's really no way they'll end up over there unless they want to.

[Seahawk]

Originally Posted by Jrboulder

That's because most of the people (and almost all of the yuppies) in my generation consider the millitary somewhere you go if you're poor, dumb, or just want to shoot people (I'm not kidding) and seeing as there's no draft there's really no way they'll end up over there unless they want to.

I know it is not your perception, but the yups and your gen are so wrong: The finest men and women who will lead this nation out of the current malaise are those that went and served in the last ten years and counting.

Sacrifice, sense of purpose and duty: And, unless you have served, it is hard to define the smarts that it takes.

Nobody has said it better than my friend:

Originally Posted by Rikao4

K, you don't/will never get this...
it's about a bond..
it's why I ran into a building one night..
while my mind was screaming..don't do this..
it's why 4 folks climbed on-board many a nasty night..
took off... hoping to make a difference..

Rika

Perceptions don't matter to us poor and dumb...I always knew who I wanted to ride with on a nasty night and was delighted to earn a spot.

[Nostril Cheese]

Originally Posted by Danimal16

We are old. With it comes certain experience and certain realizations. The funny thing is we are no different than you or even our WWII parents. The World is a total ***** it does not care about any of us. Just realizing that will help with the happiness thing.

I was born in '78. Not sure if that makes me gen X or Y. Hate that term anyway.

I am happy. A lot of that has to do with having a father who was both philosophical and also a total hardass. I've worked hard to create my own business and I'm very selective about who I allow into my life.

That which you manifest is before you.