James Bond, Alcoholic

[jyl]

British study shows, for 007, tomorrow's hangover never dies - World News

James Bond was a fall-down drunk — "The Man With the Golden Liver" — according to real research published Thursday by real scientists.

In a paper (.pdf) in the December edition of BMJ (formerly the British Medical Journal), intensive care and liver specialists at the Nottingham University Hospitals NHS Trust concluded that Commander Bond was "in the highest risk group for malignancies, depression, hypertension, and cirrhosis."

If Bond's martinis were shaken, not stirred, it was probably because "Bond was unlikely to be able to stir his drinks, even if he would have wanted to, because of likely alcohol induced tremor," they noted. And forget about firing a gun accurately.

"He is also at high risk of suffering from sexual dysfunction, which would considerably affect his womanising," they added, spelling "womanizing" in the properly British way.

The full study is here

http://msnbcmedia.msn.com/i/MSNBC/Sections/NEWS/A_U.S.%20news/US-news-PDFs/131212_JamesBondsLiver.pdf

And in case you were worried

Ethical approval: The impact of this study on fictional British spies was
thought to be minimal and therefore ethical approval was not sought
for this study.No consent has been sought from the Commander Bond
chronicled in the original Ian Fleming novels. The barrier to this chiefly
being his fictional nature meaning he is unable to give valid consent.

[porsche4life]

But bond is a bad ass! His liver will continue to function properly merely out of fear for the man!

[onewhippedpuppy]

His level of badass defies science.

[scottmandue]

I saw this too... not to diminish the seriousness or hazards of alcohol...

But what a bunch of hooey.

He is a fictious charater for cheese steaks!

[livi]

Tssh.. doctors and scientists. They are just jealous.

[GH85Carrera]

Bond can fly any aircraft, disable bombs and undress a woman on the same day. His hands must be very steady. He can escape from or break into anyplace, and drive a car better than any race driver. He can fight a near superhuman bad guy and still look good afterward.

He can't have any alcoholism problems or symptoms.

[intakexhaust]

And can smoke unfiltered cig's forever!

[herr_oberst]

Unfiltered cigarettes and plenty of unprotected sex!

[GWN7]

The man kills people for a living and they care he is in the highest risk group for malignancies, depression, hypertension, and cirrhosis.

That's like treating someone with a spurting throat wound for a hangnail first.

[jyl]

Did people drink a lot more back then (1950s)?

Note Ian Fleming modeled Bond's habits and preferences after himself. Fleming died at 56 of a heart attack, after a life of heavy drinking and smoking. Photos of him from, I'd imagine, his early fifties show a man who looks in his mid-sixties to me.

[flatbutt]

well at least now I know that the US isn't the only country wasting money on stupid studies.

[jyl]

Read the study. The authors did it with no funding, for fun basically.

[Vintage Racer]

It's a fictional character.

[DanielDudley]

I have known people who drink quite heavily into old age with no apparent ill effects, and people who drink little or infrequently who just can't handle it.

Judging fictional characters is a bit Orwellian at best.

[intakexhaust]

Originally Posted by Vintage Racer

It's a fictional character.

No way dude! And I've seen Superman fly on TV too

[matt f]

Originally Posted by Vintage Racer

It's a fictional character.

Next you're gonna tell me Santa isn't real.

[kach22i]

I just watched "Skyfall", they exposed this failing already.