You think you know someone

[wdfifteen]

When I was a kid I spent a lot of time with my cousin, let's call him John Steven Jones. Until we were juniors in high school we spent at least one afternoon together a week, working or playing or killing time and I considered him a friend. I knew he had been adopted, but we didn't talk about it much. In retrospect, I do recall my aunt Bessie Jones hovering over us a lot, but I thought she was just weird. He died last week. In his obituary his name was William James Smith and he had a brother, going by the name Smith, in another state. For 55 years I called him John, knew him as John, and his name was William. I have no idea why this woman would raise him from an infant, call him by a fictitious name, and apparently swear him to secrecy.

[Baz]

I gave up on trying to rationalize family behaviour a long time ago.

Sorry for your loss, Patrick.

RIP William......

[dan88911]

Could have been a generational thing.
Many things that the older generation frowned upon and would not think of doing or saying is common place these days.

[VaSteve]

Sorry for your loss.

If Bessie Jones was his adoptive mom, maybe he found his birth family and picked their name? You just found out he had a brother as well? Did you know that at the time?

[onewhippedpuppy]

A friend of mine found out through Facebook that he his father wasn't his real father when his half-brother contacted him. 20 years old and his "parents" had never told him the truth, likely because his mom cheated on her husband. Real pieces of work, those parents.....

[weseeeee]

Sorry for your loss, may he rest in peace.

[Aragorn]

Sorry for the loss of your old friend.

I can think of a few reasons why your aunt would change his name and be overprotective of him. Usually some kind of family issue with hiding him from one of the parents. He may have found out when he was older that the other name was his real name and decided to go by that. If the birth certificate was never changed or it was a "family" adoption (un-wed underage mother) then you could see how it might have been difficult on him. I am guessing this took place in the 50's or 60's. These are just a few of the ideas that popped into my head (mainly from watching old episodes of unsolved mysteries.)

I would remember him for who he was, not the name he went by.

[wdfifteen]

Thank you for the kind words. He was a nice guy and immensely talented. This doesn't change anything about the way I remember him. He's still the same old friend he always was. It's just strange. But It gets weirder.
A family member who is big into genealogy did some digging, and it turns out when he turned 21 he legally changed his name from William Smith to the John Jones name we had all known him by. We are guessing there was a mix up at the funeral home when they did the death certificate and they put his birth name on the death certificate and sent the death notice to the newspaper. An identical obit the next day in the Texas town where John and his wife lived called him John, as did the local obit.

[kach22i]

I hope you get to the entire and true story of this name changing saga.

Sorry for your loss.

As a side note I knew a kid we all called "Big John" despite that he wasn't really all that big. His real name was Clarence.

Go figure.