Sharing the wealth. How much $$$$ would you need before sharing w/ friends & family?

[RANDY P]

I'd never give an exact number. Besides my parents, I wouldn't say a damn thing. Let them suspect.

You tell everyone and all of a sudden everyone's problems are YOURS. You also become the ass hole if you don't pity them everytime they stick you up for cash. Forget it- you will never be at peace if you do that, not with friends, not with family.

[Rick Lee]

It's no one's business how much money I have or how I make it. I wouldn't even think of doing something that made others view me as their financial safety net. That's a recipe for losing friends and alienating family. I'd rather keep them guessing or even let them think I'm stingy, than take my money, waste it, ask for more and then hate me for not giving them more.

My poorest relative used to have decent money and let her deadbeat daughter, who is almost 40 and has never had a job in her life, bleed her dry of $$. Giving her money now would be like giving heroin to an addict who promises "just one more time." In fact, most of the people I know with financial problems would not be helped by a gift from a family member. It might pay a few bills, but it certainly wouldn't correct the behavior that got them into trouble in the first place.

[wdfifteen]

From the time I was making more than my parents I was helping them. They didn't own a car or lawnmower for the last 20 years of their lives. The ones they used were all "on loan" from me. When the house needed repairs, I sent my crew over there to take care of it. I was always able to justify it as no big deal on my part. I gave Mom cash once or twice, but we weren't as comfortable with that.

[Jim Richards]

I can't imagine having $$$$.

[vash]

i would hook up my brother and sister. but not before yelling "in YO FACE!" to my sister.

my wife and i would hook up her brother and parents..her dad would benefit simply by being married to an awesome mother in law..i'd help her, he benefits..

if he were alone..it would be a fantastic fight with the wife about helping him.

probably better off that i am poor.

[onewhippedpuppy]

I am by no means rich, but we do what we can to help. A few years ago my BIL was just coming off of brain surgery which cost him a small fortune even with insurance, he had sold his nearly new GTi to help cover the bills and was trying to scrape together a few thousand for a cheap car. My wife and I gave him $1000 to help. The sign of good people in this circumstance - he and his wife said no multiple times, we had to fight them to take the money. Right now my younger SIL is living in my basement to cut costs as she finishes a bachelor's in nursing, the second SIL who has lived with us. Etc, etc, etc.

It's actually easier to do when you don't have a ton of money, nobody shows up with their hand out. I've often told my wife that we would have to move and cut ties if we won the lottery, she has some real jewels in her family that would be total parasites. Helping and enabling are two very different concepts.

[Jim Richards]

We're just middle class, but have financially helped a number of family members through tough patches over the years. Never saw anything back from them, but c'est la vie. Our son is willing to be generous with us, although we only let him pay for dining out some (~half) of the time. I think it's better that way.

[Shaun @ Tru6]

Originally Posted by onewhippedpuppy

Helping and enabling are two very different concepts.

This is key.

[dan88911]

I have wondered who and how much if I were to win the big lotto. I buy ticket some times for the hell of it.
Some family members I don't give a rats a** about.
Some of them I think I would do more harm than good giving them large sums of money, if I were to win a big lotto.
That being said we have helped family members who have been in need.
And we are grateful to be able to do so.

[KFC911]

Originally Posted by dan88911

...That being said we have helped family members who have been in need.
And we are grateful to be able to do so.

Sums it up perfectly for me! I think the first time I did so my net worth was probably somewhere between doodly and squat

ps: Yep, I have also been an "enabler" (indirectly). I'm not gonna enable directly, nor will I be a cold hearted SOB towards someone I love when I can "help"...I just don't "tick" like that...YMMV.

[onewhippedpuppy]

Originally Posted by Shaun 84 Targa

This is key.

I ended up throwing out the 1st SIL, so that gives you an indication of where I stand on the topic. 2nd SIL is a great kid, with all of the volunteer work she has to do for her bachelor's of nursing she would have struggled to pay the bills and still handle school. We discussed that I'll give her a month post-graduation in May to find a place, she found one a few days later.

[KFC911]

Well Matt...I "can" be that way too..."case-by-case" basis

ps: I bumped your doggy thread yesterday...probably buried several pages deep by now....any updates?

[strupgolf]

I told my wife that she will be a very wealthy widow, when I pass. She laughes, but what she does with the money will be her problem.

[McLovin]

No amount. I don't think I'd ever just "give away" money to family and friends. That's just a bad path to go down and ends up not doing much good for anyone.

My family has much wealth. They've never just "given" money to me. I wouldn't want it, wouldn't expect it, and I'm glad they've never done it. They did quite a bit for me raising me, paying for my education, etc., which was more than enough. Their money is their money, and what I earn I earn.

I have friends and clients that have even more wealth, upwards of $100 million in some cases. I've never received unearned money, not a penny, from any of them. Again, wouldn't expect it.

There's always strings attached to such things. It's unhealthy to even begin to think that people who have much should "give" any away to friends and family, simply because of the fact they have more than others. Frankly, its a bizarre concept to me.

[McLovin]

(I'm talking about giving money to people who are already doing ok on their own, as that was the premise of the original post - giving money to middle class people who are not struggling (" In these situations, the wealthy person has adult middle class siblings... not struggling, but very much middle class."). Helping someone in a time of real crisis, emergency, etc. is a different story).