Sharing the wealth. How much $$$$ would you need before sharing w/ friends & family?

[LeeH]

I know a couple of different situations where one member of a family has become fairly wealthy - many millions in the bank and near 7 figure annual income - as a result of professional success. In these situations, the wealthy person has adult middle class siblings... not struggling, but very much middle class.

Was discussing this with a friend recently and his opinion was that if he had many millions in assets that he would gift enough money to his family members to make a difference in their lives. Maybe a few hundred thousand - enough to pay off all debt, create a nest egg, make their lives easier in general.

At what point do you have enough money that you start doling it out to your family and or close friends just to be nice? Or do you at all?

PLEASE don't PARFify this!

[porsche4life]

Depends totally on which family members. . Id help my folks out if I had any to spare and they needed it. I don't have siblings, but I've got cousins, aunts, and uncles etc... Some of them are in the same category as my folks in that I'd help whenever I could, some are in the I'd let them rot before giving them money. What dollar amount is hard to say. But I'd start now if I had family truly in need, and I make a pretty modest salary and don't have much in the bank.

Why? Past behavior, I've seen some of my family beg, borrow, and steal from other family members who didn't have money to spare, so no way in hell would I help them even if I had the money.

[KFC911]

I would qualify as one of his siblings, but I help my parents and (indirectly) sis out all the time. I can never repay my parents for the way they brought me up and taught me along the way...but I try . "They" (parents) don't need it, but it's just the way I am...YMMV. Ya can't take it witcha when ya go....

[Tilikum Turbo]

For those who LOVE money...there will NEVER be enough of it.

Sad fact about lottery winners is how they stay the same (usually)...but everyone around them changes. "New" money is generally very stupid.

[Bill Douglas]

GF's cousins have a small family business that has made them many millions. They are very Scottish in their manner and NEVER shout dinner when we all go out to a restaurant. They come and stay at my place for free and are too mean to even bring a bottle of wine as a thanks for having them to stay although they drink like fish when it's my wine.

Well their kids got pissed off at being paid (I'm guessing) lowly wages and quit the business and moved elsewhere without even telling the geriatrics where they had gone. So they lost the business because the kids managed it and ran it, and they have lost contact with their kids and grandchildren. All they had to do was spread a little of the money around and everyone would have been happy.

[Head416]

I make less than six figures and my credit card debt outweighs my life savings. (I'm working on that!)

We help some family members that are less secure financially than we are. Despite our lack of savings, we are able to pay all of our bills, but we have some family that really struggle due to things like layoffs, medical bills, etc. Seeing your sister-in-law's eyes well up because you bought her kids the winter coats she couldn't afford makes you realize how much you do have.

So yes, if we came into any amount of money, some of it would be used to help our loved ones.

[URY914]

My wife and I have said if we ever won a big lottery payout we'd divide it evenly between our bothers and sisters. Then they can decide what to give their kids. There would also be a rule/agreement/contract that if you blow it all you can't hit up the others for more money to blow.

This all sounds good now, but wait until we actually win one.

[MRM]

To really understand this issue, you have to turn the question around: How much richer would your relatives have to be than you before you felt comfortable taking money from them? The revulsion most of you feel at the thought of accepting money from a richer brother, cousin, etc., is exactly how most family members will feel if you start trying to dole out money to them. It just doesn't work that way.

My wife and I certainly aren't rich, but we come from very humble backgrounds, and just by being successful suburban professionals means we make several times my brothers and sisters make. My mother is widowed and retired and lives off of Social Security and what's left of the money my father left her. We're generous when we come into town - picking up checks, nice Christmas presents, things like that, but I don't think I could offend my family faster than if I started trying to give them money. If any of them ever really needed the money, I'd be happy to give them what they needed, but the idea of trying to give people money sounds much better than it works out in real life.

[911SauCy]

To answer the title directly.

$5M smackers. Interest and investing would allow for a comfortable life style and I would provide $ to others from my regular paycheck.

[Icemaster]

I'd give money only to those who don't ask for it. Threshold is 6-8 million. Then the immediate family is set.

[Shaun @ Tru6]

Originally Posted by LeeH

At what point do you have enough money that you start doling it out to your family and or close friends just to be nice?

There is no point, you just do it, even if you have to sacrifice a little yourself, their well-being makes it worthwhile.

One of my best friends makes probably 10X what I do. He's losing his job in 2 months and even though he is highly marketable, all extra purchasing has been shut off. He wanted to finish his 3.4 build before the summer, only needs a gasket kit. He was bummed about not having his car on the road. I used my M491 stereo upgrade money to send him a Wrightwood Kit. He'll have his car on the road in early May I hope. I'll listen to my engine note for awhile.

[flatbutt]

$5mm.

[gacook]

I'll vary a bit from the fold here...

Family would never see a dime from me (long story). A couple of my friends I would definitely help out.

[Dantilla]

It's not just the numbers.....

I do some volunteer construction work for a local non-profit, and one of the continuous issues is determining which people are going to actually be helped, long-term, if we agree to do work for them.
The big question: "If we do this, how will it affect their life a year, two years, five years from now?"

-Those who will be helped the most tend to be those that do not want to ask for help.
-There are others whos lifestyle is to go from non-profit to non-profit organization looking for handouts.

I would apply the same litmus test to family. I would want to help. Not become an enabler.

[froggert]

What happens if you lose your job or become disabled and unable to work and need that money? Do you ask for it back?


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[KFC911]

Originally Posted by MRM

To really understand this issue, you have to turn the question around: How much richer would your relatives have to be than you before you felt comfortable taking money from them? The revulsion most of you feel at the thought of accepting money from a richer brother, cousin, etc., is exactly how most family members will feel if you start trying to dole out money to them. It just doesn't work that way.
.....

Of course you are correct "for the most part" imo. Don't want to make it sound like I'm loaded...certainly I'm not, but some of the figures thrown out on this thread are mind boggling in my mind. Millions...ha, not me . That said, I come from large extended families on both parents' sides, and "helping" (i.e. dire medical needs, etc.) is what we do...but it's rare and I have actually written a few checks before or made them "sweetheart deals". In my immediate family, I've structure investments with them (i.e. rental proporties) where I invest, but recieve no income (don't really want/need it) and they derive benefit now as I will too later on...maybe . For the most part, you are absolutely right.... just "handing out money" is insulting to the recipient and not cool imo.

ps: I have a first cousin who married into SERIOUS money...private jet, private island in the Bahamas, etc. and you'd never, ever know it by their demeanor. Yet they have offered both up as "services" to her family in times of need (illness)...there are ways to offer/accept without cash changing hands.

I believe in Karma and the "golden rule" (no, not the one: "he who has the gold makes the rules" ).

[nota]

I have given to those in need directly
took into my home stray kids when needed
let people live on my boats for free
all when I was living one paycheck to the next
thankfully my family is both fairly in good health and hardworking/luckly/skilled
or dead

there is no set number needed
there is a mindset to share or not
that is all

[HardDrive]

Its not about the numbers. I help people based on what I can do, and IF they are deserving of help. I'm certainly not putting good money after bad, thats for damn sure. You watch someone squander every opportunity, not take any advice, make outlandish decisions and then blame others....ummm....yeah, no. Not getting a GD dime from me. If I want to throw money down a hole, I'll buy a boat.

[Cajundaddy]

I generally like the Warren Buffett approach.
Buffett Family Values: How To Raise Well-Grounded Heirs - Forbes

Handing out cash to friends and family who never learned how to manage it doesn't accomplish much IMO (Paris Hilton?). Putting family members in a position to leverage philanthropy seems to have much deeper and longer lasting results. My family does this now on a much smaller scale offering annual college scholarship awards to students chosen by their music directors. This can be done for as little as $10k and positively affects the lives of students who have never been recognized for their achievements.

[Tobra]

That would depend on so many things. I have already helped family members out financially. Who it is and how they came to need dough is going to play a role in my decision.