What I Do

[legion]

Finally, something that kind of describes my job:

Programming Sucks

Imagine joining an engineering team. You're excited and full of ideas, probably just out of school and a world of clean, beautiful designs, awe-inspiring in their aesthetic unity of purpose, economy, and strength. You start by meeting Mary, project leader for a bridge in a major metropolitan area. Mary introduces you to Fred, after you get through the fifteen security checks installed by Dave because Dave had his sweater stolen off his desk once and Never Again. Fred only works with wood, so you ask why he's involved because this bridge is supposed to allow rush-hour traffic full of cars full of mortal humans to cross a 200-foot drop over rapids. Don't worry, says Mary, Fred's going to handle the walkways. What walkways? Well Fred made a good case for walkways and they're going to add to the bridge's appeal. Of course, they'll have to be built without railings, because there's a strict no railings rule enforced by Phil, who's not an engineer. Nobody's sure what Phil does, but it's definitely full of synergy and has to do with upper management, whom none of the engineers want to deal with so they just let Phil do what he wants. Sara, meanwhile, has found several hemorrhaging-edge paving techniques, and worked them all into the bridge design, so you'll have to build around each one as the bridge progresses, since each one means different underlying support and safety concerns. Tom and Harry have been working together for years, but have an ongoing feud over whether to use metric or imperial measurements, and it's become a case of "whoever got to that part of the design first." This has been such a headache for the people actually screwing things together, they've given up and just forced, hammered, or welded their way through the day with whatever parts were handy. Also, the bridge was designed as a suspension bridge, but nobody actually knew how to build a suspension bridge, so they got halfway through it and then just added extra support columns to keep the thing standing, but they left the suspension cables because they're still sort of holding up parts of the bridge. Nobody knows which parts, but everybody's pretty sure they're important parts. After the introductions are made, you are invited to come up with some new ideas, but you don't have any because you're a propulsion engineer and don't know anything about bridges.

What is left out is when the Design Committee decides to tear down the whole bridge and start all over because they discovered that in one of the blueprints, I neglected to dot an I, two days before the bridge opening. Oh, and the bridge will still open on time, so forget about that family trip...and sleeping.

[GH85Carrera]

Golly that sounds glamours.

At least you don't have to have a lot of meetings, right?

[legion]

One of my projects is behind schedule. The solution, of course, is to have twice-daily stand-up meetings where I get to explain why stuff is behing schedule. The irony is lost on the project manager.

[Nostril Cheese]

Sounds like some of the places I've worked.

I once had to explain to an architect why welding a aluminum stanchion to a steel deck wouldn't work.

[porsche4life]

I didn't know we all worked at the same company!

[MBAtarga]

Have you seen this video yet?

[onewhippedpuppy]

Just watch Office Space, resign yourself to the fact that it is in fact a documentary of your life, then have another drink. In fact have two, or three, or....

[TheMentat]

most people don't even know what sysadmins do, but trust me, if they all took a lunch break at the same time they wouldn't make it to the deli before you ran out of bullets protecting your canned goods from roving bands of mutants.

. :d

[Porsche-O-Phile]

Originally Posted by Nostril Cheese

Sounds like some of the places I've worked.

I once had to explain to an architect why welding a aluminum stanchion to a steel deck wouldn't work.

*sigh* not all are created equally...

[HHI944]

Originally Posted by onewhippedpuppy

Just watch Office Space, resign yourself to the fact that it is in fact a documentary of your life, then have another drink. In fact have two, or three, or....

You're missing a piece or two of flair....

[GH85Carrera]

Originally Posted by MBAtarga

Have you seen this video yet?

That is a classic.