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Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Valencia Pa.
Posts: 8,844
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My drunken know it all neighbor just fell face first into my ditch.
As soon as I fire up the backhoe, over comes Paul, my loud mouth know it all neighbor with a beer in his hand, and judging from his walk, and talk, this is not his first for the day.
Now, I already have this all planned out, and am well under way. I am trying to find a broken drain pipe which I knew was white PVC plastic , and I have been snaking, measuring, and hand digging every evening this week. I figure that I am within 10 feet of where the pipe has collapsed. I had already pulled up fragments of it, so I knew I was close. Right away, he wants to quarterback the whole operation. I don't mind advice from guys who know what they are talking about, but this , he is not. He starts arguing with me that there is no plastic pipe in the ground, they did not use plastic back then and that we are looking for terra cotta, blah, blah, blah, ... Nothing worse than trying to reason with a drunk. I have been snaking out these pipes for the last 13 years. I am 100 % sure I am right, and I am looking for white PVC. I have a pretty big hole opened up by now, and it has filled with water . He sees a piece of broken terra cotta in the mud, and is reaching down to show me, and is now yelling at me in that annoying drunken stammer , that I am in the wrong place. He bends over and reaches down to try to show me what he is talking about, and in that slow motion clumsiness that only a drunk can pull off, he looses his balance, and goes head first into the drink. Made my night. Luckily this sent him home for the night to clean up , but not before I noticed that his dog just ate my kids soccer ball. Have a good night fella's
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No left turn un stoned |
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05-30-2014, 07:53 PM
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Targa, Panamera Turbo
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Houston TX
Posts: 22,366
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life in the burbs...don't get much better...
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Michael D. Holloway https://simple.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Michael_D._Holloway https://5thorderindustry.com/ https://www.amazon.com/s?k=michael+d+holloway&crid=3AWD8RUVY3E2F&sprefix= michael+d+holloway%2Caps%2C136&ref=nb_sb_noss_1 |
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05-30-2014, 07:57 PM
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You should have backfilled the ditch while he was still in it
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Mike Trashed Turbolook Cab per Milt, 1965 Pontiac Tempest 1953 Lincoln Capri La Carrera copy(finished soon I hope) 2008 HD Orange Roadglide (The Flying Carrot) 1961 Chevy C10 V-8 shortwide, big back window(project) |
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05-30-2014, 08:00 PM
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Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Clinton, NJ
Posts: 12,782
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At least some neighbors are good for comic relief.
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______________________________ Dave 1969 911T Coupe 1972 911E Targa |
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05-30-2014, 08:04 PM
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Reminds of me of our drunken neighbor growing up. (My parents have about 50 acres, with 5 of it that we mow)....he'd get thoroughly tanked and ride his tractor over and start mowing. Usually would crash into some of the giant maple trees.
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-mike |
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05-30-2014, 08:11 PM
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Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: houston, tx
Posts: 7,261
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Karma is a beautiful thing. Did he spill his beer and then struggle to get out? You must have been laughing your arse off. Thanks for the chuckle.
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the unexamined life is not worth living, unless you are reading posts by goofballs-Socrates 88 coupe |
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05-30-2014, 08:14 PM
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Join Date: May 2004
Location: Lake Cle Elum - Eastern WA.
Posts: 8,417
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Funny stuff Fred....Thax for the laugh....
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Bob S. 73.5 911T 1969 911T Coo' pay (one owner) 1960 Mercedes 190SL 1962 XKE Roadster (sold) - 13 motorcycles |
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05-30-2014, 08:15 PM
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Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Nevada City, Ca
Posts: 2,210
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You need a go pro on your backhoe. That would have been a sight!
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05-30-2014, 08:37 PM
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'Round here, the numbnuts woulda then sued you for something-or-another.
Funny stuff, Fred. Thanks.
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1987 Venetian Blue (looks like grey) 930 Coupe 1990 Black 964 C2 Targa |
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05-30-2014, 09:14 PM
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Join Date: Oct 2004
Posts: 15,612
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Leave a gift of broken PVC on his doorstep. Signed "Love, Tara Cotta"
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05-30-2014, 10:38 PM
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durn for'ner
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: South of Sweden
Posts: 17,090
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Hahaha, too funny!
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Markus Resident Fluffer Carrera '85 |
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05-31-2014, 12:42 AM
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Dog-faced pony soldier
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Funny until he sues you.
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A car, a 911, a motorbike and a few surfboards Black Cars Matter |
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05-31-2014, 04:34 AM
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I'm with Bill
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Scottsville Va
Posts: 24,186
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Quote:
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Electrical problems on a pick-up will do that to a guy- 1990C4S |
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05-31-2014, 04:41 AM
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G'day!
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I have a drunk neighbor too - she sounds like Fran Dresser when she laughs...well sorta more like a cackle....
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Old dog....new tricks..... |
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05-31-2014, 05:24 AM
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Now that is justice for you. G.
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05-31-2014, 07:02 AM
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Fast Acting, Long Lasting
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Eastern Chatham co. NC.
Posts: 1,171
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That's funny stuff Fred. The dog and soccer ball made it sound sorta like a C.W. McCall song. Thanks for the story.
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Eighteen ways to burn fuel. |
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05-31-2014, 12:30 PM
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Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Los Angeles
Posts: 17,338
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the boys in tight jeans would have lawyer up around here.
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05-31-2014, 01:39 PM
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1985 Porsche Carrera Cabriolet
1984 Porsche Carrera
Ducati
1987 Porsche 930 3.3T
1964 Porsche 356 C Sunroof coupe
1972 Porsche 914 2.0 fuel injected
1983 Porsche 911 SC Targa
Work vehicle
Lexus RX350
