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-   -   Dads & Sleep Overs (http://forums.pelicanparts.com/off-topic-discussions/857954-dads-sleep-overs.html)

mreid 03-28-2015 07:33 AM

Depends on which bathroom the kid uses at school.

fintstone 03-28-2015 07:43 AM

High school and college girls are dangerous. Treat them like dynamite...no Nitroglycerin; dynamite is more stable.

Even the ones who seem well raised, reasonable, and mature often get some type of brain dysfunction (chemical imbalance) in their teens and sometimes into their early 20s. Think about your judgment at 14 and imagine the pressure of knowing that almost every person of the opposite sex wanted to sleep with you...but is was really not a good idea to do so. Add the current culture and social media that is just good fun among friends...

Raising a daughter really opened my eyes. She was relatively good (as far as I know), but her friends (who also seemed bright, wholesome and mature) were pretty wild. She was a cheerleader in high school and college (both competed nationally) so her friends were from that group and there were lots of sleepovers, summer camps, etc. The advice from someone earlier about being alone with them is pretty darned good. You may find that you are more attractive to young girls than you realize.

rattlsnak 03-28-2015 07:47 AM

how gay can you be at 14? but that being said, if i knew the boy well, i would be ok with it as long as the bedroom door stays open, or better yet, have them all crash in the family room, otherwise, probably not.

zehnd 03-28-2015 08:44 AM

I wouldn't be too happy with you if it was my daughter that was having a sleepover at your house and you allowed a boy to sleep there too. I say no.

cstreit 03-28-2015 09:13 AM

I'd say he's welcome to come over, but goes home when its lights out time...

fintstone 03-28-2015 09:57 AM

My mom had a man she was dating in her early 70's (Dad died 20 years earlier). She mentioned visiting with him...I told her fine, but they would have to sleep in separate rooms (if they were not doing so anyways). My teens did not need any ambiguity about the issue.

on2wheels52 03-28-2015 10:07 AM

My first time to vote a "star" on a thread. Only brought it up to a 4. Is something amiss?
Jim

scottmandue 03-28-2015 11:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by berettafan (Post 8550881)
it is disappointing any parent would need help making this decision.

the teen mindset these days is 'it's just ****ing, who cares?' and 'gay' boys are just walking dildos to teenybopper girls.

Okay, so it is not just me thinking this... everyone is thinking the boy is the scammer here... could be the girls want some hands on experience with boy parts and figure playing with their gay friend would be safe way to explore such a thing.

Just sayin...

Gogar 03-28-2015 11:20 AM

scottmandue is right!

They'll all fool around anyway, but it will be "OK" ;) because the boy is gay.

Don't underestimate your kids. Remember they've ALWAYS lived in the internet era. And the internet is about 90% sex, if you haven't noticed.

Porsche-O-Phile 03-28-2015 12:24 PM

Sooooooo...

Do you want your prospective grandson / granddaughter being raised by your daughter and:

1. A guy that's straight (but a lying douchebag)?
2. A guy that's gay (or in denial because he's obviously straight enough to nail her)?
3. A guy that's confused (similar to #2, doesn't really know what he is)?
4. Just her (since he'll likely split anyway to go "find himself" later)?

No real upside here.

Just. Say. No.

72doug2,2S 03-28-2015 02:05 PM

Oh, he's gay? Well, that just makes everything OKAY!

http://forums.pelicanparts.com/uploa...1427580288.jpg

CHICKS 03-28-2015 03:00 PM

Quote:

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Quote de <strong>CHICKS</strong>
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<div style="font-style:italic">I would, no problem at.</div>
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<!-- END TEMPLATE: bbcode_quote -->no problem at what?
No problem at letting him stay over. He's gay, I don't think that's something you fake to fuch a girl. My wife's best friend is a gay guy and when they were in middle school and high school they would stay over at each other's houses. Nothing happened because he's gay.

txhokie4life 03-28-2015 03:08 PM

I'm pretty open minded, have a 14yr old daughter, several gay friends of mine, both male and female and I would still say no.

My daughter has many sleepovers -- but for now -- it's just the ladies -- no boys, regardless of claimed preferences.

Should this boy's choices somehow change, I do not want to put my daughter or any of her friends in a compromising position.

Mike

Cajundaddy 03-28-2015 03:50 PM

Bahahahahahaha!

Nice try Missy. 14 is the age of exploration and adventures with zero understanding of long term consequences. Teen girls at this age are extraordinarily curious about male-female relationships and most gay boys are fully equipped to produce your grandchildren whether they admit to liking the process or not.

Two possible choices I see.
1. Be the adult and politely decline the co-ed sleepover.
2. Invite them, break out the booze and start decorating the expected grandchild's room.

As a father who raised 3 daughters I gotta go with option #1. Kids want and need limits and they are constantly testing us to find them. This is a test of your emergency warning system. I would also reel-in the 14 lassie a bit because simply asking this question confirms both her curiosity and absence in considering long term life altering consequences. Getting kids to develop wisdom, self control, and an inner compass between 14-18 is no easy trick but was certainly our goal as parents.

aigel 03-28-2015 09:55 PM

One thing I find very interesting on this thread is the fact that all you guys (I don't think any women posted) seem to be convinced it takes a sleepover to engage in sexual activity. Haha! Really, that's the only time you were engaging when you were a teen? Don't kid yourself - if your daughter wants to have sex, she will, unless you are with her 100% of the time. Generally trying to maximize control does not minimize the risk of them engaging. Like other things, if it looks like some huge taboo, it will get even more interesting.

Now, that said, what I don't like here, irregardless of the mixed gender question, is that this boy is unknown to the OP. Kids unknown to me, that have not been over to the house at least a few times, don't get sleepovers, irregardless of age or gender. I need to be reasonably sure they are good kids from a decent family. There comes great responsibility hosting a kid at your house. If anything goes sideways, your fault or not, you don't want to have some crazy parents come after you ... Also, as mentioned above, there are sleepovers at my house ONLY when my wife is home. I actually try to GTFO for a trip if I know there is some big slumber party going on.

I have had kids over to my house that were clearly trouble. First thing in the door often is "what's your WIFI password", so they could run their devices. Haha. Nice try! I have also had kids that were about 15 years ahead in terms of their dress / makeup and behavior. No thanks ... please find another friend to bring home ...

In summary, I have a hard time seeing the upside of allowing the OP's suggested sleepover, especially not knowing the young man. You'll be the hard-ass for a few days in your kids eyes, but aren't you already???

G

dwight45 03-28-2015 10:10 PM

Cajun Daddy, Spot on. Sound like experience Talking.

puddy 03-29-2015 10:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by offcrusin (Post 8550161)
OK all you experienced Dads out there, my 14 year old daughter
Came to me and asked me if she could invite a girl friend and
A male friend supposedly gay to have a sleepover in our house but
They will all sleep in the same bedroom with the male friend on the
Floor in a made up bed.
What should I say or how do I react or just say no problem

So, what did you decide and how did it turn out?

M.D. Holloway 03-29-2015 11:50 AM

No

Joe Bob 03-29-2015 12:09 PM

nfw!

speeder 03-29-2015 02:33 PM

Can we get another 100 no answers with exclamation points? Come on, you can do it. Just read the first post and hit "reply". :)


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