The Death Toll Continues to Climb

[Jeff Higgins]

In my own back yard, no less. The carnage has been too much for others to bear, but the brave among us continue about our grim task. While my wife cowers behind closed curtains and surely winces at every sharp crack of the rifles, my sons and I soldier on. It's war. On rats.

Where others may resort to such mundane means as traps and poison, we hardly find that sporting. No, real men hunt their rats. Air rifles and pistols, with flashlights for the dark hours at which our foes are active. That, and a little peanut butter on the fence rail...

We killed five of the little bastards in about two hours last night. They have been displaced by development on about eight acres to the north of my place; I believe they have taken up residence in my woodpile, about 20 yards off the back of my house. One of these days I'll finish off what's left of them with poison (like if one ever makes it into the house) but, for now, they are providing ready targets for the air guns and some welcome shooting practice.

We have killed just over a dozen in the last couple of weeks. At first they were early morning / late evening targets of opportunity, but last night we upped the ante and started actively baiting them. Peanut butter works great; it smells enough to attract them, and they can't carry it off.

The guns of choice for this grisly work are all Sheridan pump-up rifles and pistols in 5mm caliber. While my buddies, kids, and I all own "better" high-end spring piston guns (Beeman, Feinwerkbau, etc.) it's the trusty Sheridans that come out when it's killing time. My old rifle was built in 1962 and shoots as well as many "match" rifles of today. The heavy (14.5 grain) .20 caliber pellet carries far more energy down range than any .177 or .22 pellet ever will. It's accurate enough to stay on a nickle accross the back yard, about 30 yards or so. All in all a deadly combination on rats. They are in big trouble...

[ronin]

your whole war on these rats is probably illegal and was most likely started under false pretenses. there were no weapons of mass infestation. dammit Jeff, you lied!!

[dd74]

I had the same problem. Construction up the street and copious amounts of rodent displacement - which the contractor allegedly attempted to burn down - but that's another story -

Unfortunately - in my forward-thinking neighborhood, eradication such as yours is discouraged.

(not like my neighbors don't have Glocks and Berettas tucked away somewhere).

So I used the poison. A week later, no trace of them.

Anyway - this thread is useless without photos. Let's see some carnage, or at least firepower, Jeff

[jyl]

All fine, but the raterrists will adapt their tactics and you need to stay a step ahead. You will need to own the night! Let's see a pic of a Gen 3 night-vision sight mounted on a Sheridan. And where are the remote-triggered micro-Claymores?

[ronin]

Originally posted by jyl
the raterrists...

or would that be terrorats?

[lendaddy]

I agree, without confirmed evidence of infestation you cannot invade the sovereign woodpile.

[ronin]

ditto! we have a mandate! time for the impeachment hearings

however, being the two-faced UN member that I am. I am willing to send troops to aid your effort. how about a nice, well-tuned Robar SR90? (read: I wanna play too!)

[BlueSkyJaunte]

I'd like to see some Barrett .50 action on those lil' buggers.

FWIW, consider yourself lucky. Construction displaces scorpion nests out here...

[lendaddy]

On second thought, I recommend a weapon of mass penetration......22LR or possibly hollow tip .223?

[Jeff Higgins]

O.k., by popular demand, pics will follow when I get home from work. Last night's kill went out in today's garbage (pick-up day), but we should have no trouble getting a few more. The peanut butter left out last night was gone this morning. We ain't through yet...

[ronin]

Originally posted by lendaddy
On second thought, I recommend a weapon of mass penetration......22LR or possibly hollow tip .223?

hmm, I don't know if we'd be able to get the suckers lined up long enough to make that one work

we'll use the SR90 in 308 as suggested and follow the sniper's credo - OSOK (one shot - one kill) the rest will die of a heart attack from the deafening blast

[Deschodt]

They reproduce so fast you will run out of bullets and patience before they do ! ;-(

[legion]

The rats are winning!

Both the New York Times and Al Ratzeera say so, and the rats continue to gain strength. They just re-emerge and reorganize as soon as you leave.

[ronin]

looks like Susan has thrown in her two cents...

[BlueSkyJaunte]

We want action shots, man.

http://dogbegone.com/

[dd74]

Originally posted by Jeff Higgins
O.k., by popular demand, pics will follow when I get home from work. Last night's kill went out in today's garbage (pick-up day), but we should have no trouble getting a few more. The peanut butter left out last night was gone this morning. We ain't through yet...

Chunky peanut butter always worked for me and my RMDs (Rodents of Mass Destruction).

[sammyg2]

Cindy Sheehan, angered that her son was sent to fight and die in an unjust war on rats for reasons that have proven to be lies, is speaking out about the woodpile invasion.

[legion]

The rats were not displaced by construction.

The fact is that the woodpile was there and you invaded it, unjustly. Trying to come up with justifications after the fact does not change this.

[Jeff Higgins]

I'm trying to observe all rules of warfare as outlined by the Geneva Convention. No chemical weapons, fair and humane treatment for all prisoners, no expanding pellets. These woodpile insurgents are making it difficult, however.

I shot one last week before work from underneath my apple tree. He was loitering in among the squirrels and robins, trying to look like the locals. His jet-black coloration and his pink ears and nose betrayed him, however. I know some would label this as "profiling", but I accept full responsibility if I should be as unfortunate to shoot one that turned out to be an innocent squirrel. Either that or I'll just cover it up, and claim the squirrel was aiding and abetting these heinous villains.

I assure you, I have full support from the Department of Homefront Security. My wife wants them gone. She is ready to resort to chemical warfare; rats' rights be damned. She is even ready to appeal to the United Neighborhood for authorization to employ them. They have agreed, for now, to allow us to continue to exert pressure on these insurgents with less destructive and intrusive means. If the war ever spills over our borders, however, all bets are off. The joint peacekeeping forces (Orkin) will be called in to finish the job.

[ronin]

Originally posted by Jeff Higgins
fair and humane treatment for all prisoners,

that should be easy, considering the fact that you're not taking any! and so much for giving those "enemy combatants" at Camp Ratmo a fair hearing!