I guess there is not tactful way to tell someone to stay the h#ll out of my life

fastfredracing · 02-05-2016, 09:46 AM

So, an old friend pops up yesterday. I have posted about this guy before .
https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=5&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=0ahUKEwi5p5H2oeHKAhXEYiYKHVLaC6QQFgg-MAQ&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.post-gazette.com%2Ffrontpage%2F2008%2F01%2F18%2FCranber ry-chop-shop-owner-makes-guilty-plea%2Fstories%2F200801180187&usg=AFQjCNFYlwwQKB4D-zA5eNyL65daAPYbzw

He was my landlord for a few years, but when I figured out what was going on I got myself out of there, and distanced myself from him for a long time. We got along o.k., but he was just a bad person, no two ways about it. He never did anything on the up and up in his entire life .
When he got out of prison , he came to me looking for some help to get back on his feet. I reluctantly tried to help him out a little bit, but could quickly see that zebras don't change their stripes, and over a heated argument, I basically told him to go away and leave me alone .
I had not seen him in about 4 years, but last year, when my daughter passed, he showed up at my shop, grabbed me , hugged me , said he was sorry, and turned around and left. sort of weird, but whatever, I took it at face value.
When I got into work yesterday, one of his old business cards was stuck to my door. He showed up a few hours later .
He is planning on moving back to the area, and I know where this is going...
It is not even about the stolen cars, or his past, he did his time for that. He is just one of those people that nothing good will come from being around him. If you know him long enough, you will eventually be on the loosing side of one of his shennaningans. He causes problems with other friends marriages, businesses, friendships, jobs, etc.
What say you? rip the bandage off, and tell him once again to buzz off, or is there a more tactful way to handle this one?

vash · vash's Garage

dang.

my best friend in college i had to fumigate away. i had it easy..he asked me for $$ i said no and instantly became the bag guy..he hates me now because i NEVER help him and moved away.

there are just some people that come to a cross road and always take the wrong path. i'm too old for that kind of drama.

Amail · 02-05-2016, 09:53 AM

Life is too short to allow someone drag you down. Tell him to buzz off - you weren't welcome four years ago, you're just as not welcome now. Thanks for the condolences, but we're done.

rusnak · 02-05-2016, 10:05 AM

Tell him that you found the Lord and that you are beginning a journey that you must take alone.

Tell him that he too must begin his journey toward salvation and that he should seek out a church now. Like right now. The State may have forgiven him, but he must repent if he is to be saved. Tell him to become baptized. His own demons will spirit him out of your life after that.

porsche4life · porsche4life's Garage

Doesn't sound like a good dude at all... I'd tell him to fuch off.... Maybe nicely the first time, but if that doesn't work I'd not be so nice about it.

vash · vash's Garage

Quote:

Originally Posted by rusnak

Tell him that you found the Lord and that you are beginning a journey that you must take alone.

Tell him that he too must begin his journey toward salvation and that he should seek out a church now. Like right now. The State may have forgiven him, but he must repent if he is to be saved. Tell him to become baptized. His own demons will spirit him out of your life after that.

HAHAHAH..

but..what if he agrees!?

BE911SC · 02-05-2016, 10:16 AM

We've all had sociopaths and plain old screwups/energy vampires in our lives at one time or another. The hard-core types, the real sociopaths, only understand blunt force and you need to be direct in telling them you want no part of them. Even after that these types may still pop up later on. Some of them react with an "I'll make you sorry you blew me off" mindset and lob the occasional grenade into your life. Ignore every grenade and, for that matter, every peace offering. Your time and your happiness and your sanity is far too valuable. Kill the relationship with silence once you've made clear the relationship is over.

Geronimo '74 · 02-05-2016, 10:25 AM

Be straight with him.
Tell him you don't need any bs or illigal stuff in your life.
Friends until you notice the least bit of his old antics.

One last chance, take it or leave it.

Seahawk · 10:49 AM

Tell him you'll support him regardless. You are that guy, Fred: stand tall and help a friend out, you can afford it. It is not his fault. Write him a check for his needs with no strings attached.

Then make sure the check bounces.

I am kidding but that is what he has been doing his whole life.

Look him in the running lights, wish him well, then firmly close the relationship down.

rusnak · 02-05-2016, 10:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by vash

HAHAHAH..

but..what if he agrees!?

That's why I wrote that this is a journey that you must take alone.

Look, there's your church and here is my church. Go to your church.

Haha!!

Mark Henry · 02-05-2016, 10:45 AM

Grow a spine and tell him to fork off, I did it to my best friend of 25 years and to my brother.
Real hard, it sucked, but I refuse to let negative people bring me down anymore.

Funny thing is sometimes this path is a great attitude adjustor with family members. It changed one of ours for the better, because after being written off for 4 years they crawled back asking forgiveness and have been on their best behavior ever since.

But a thief and a poop disturber....plus he's not family??? Kick to the curb is all I'd give him.

Mark Henry · 02-05-2016, 10:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Seahawk

Tell him you'll support him regardless. You are that guy, Fred: stand talk and help a friend out, you can afford it. It is not his fault. Write him a check for his needs with no strings attached.

Then make sure the check bounces.

I am kidding but that is what he has been doing his whole life.

Look him in the running lights, wish him well, then firmly close the relationship down.

Actually I'm not kidding, often a $100 loan, then asking for repayment, is the cheapest way to get rid of someone for good.

rusnak · 02-05-2016, 10:51 AM

Grow a spine? That's putting it kind of harshly. Why can't he just say "It's not you, it's me"?

fastfredracing · 02-05-2016, 10:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by vash

HAHAHAH..

but..what if he agrees!?

Funny ,but when he got out of prison, he was preaching the gospel brother. He had found the lord, and was born again! even preaching to me about accepting Jesus Christ into me life . About 10 minutes later, he was asking me to generate false repair invoices, so he could cheat advance auto parts out of a free exhaust system . He used to say that I pissed him off cause I could always see through his line of bs. He was a smooth operator.

Mark Henry · 02-05-2016, 10:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by fastfredracing

Funny ,but when he got out of prison, he was preaching the gospel brother. He had found the lord, and was born again! even preaching to me about accepting Jesus Christ into me life . About 10 minutes later, he was asking me to generate false repair invoices, so he could cheat advance auto parts out of a free exhaust system . He used to say that I pissed him off cause I could always see through his line of bs. He was a smooth operator.

Damn! Run Forest, RUN!!!!

Quote:

Originally Posted by rusnak

Grow a spine? That's putting it kind of harshly. Why can't he just say "It's not you, it's me"?

Nope...this needs a GTFO treatment! Buh-Bye....

Bill Douglas · 02-05-2016, 11:27 AM

I had a friend from early teens era turn up, wanting to party big time.

I just said to the guy "Look sorry, times have changed and so have I. I've got to focus on my work and stay sharp, and behaving like a ferking idiot doesn't it into my life anymore." He got highly miffed and left, and I haven't heard from him since which is a good thing.

aigel · aigel's Garage

This is the type of thread that gets me coming back to PPOT.

To add to the consensus - cut the guy loose. Just tell him, look, I do not want to be connected to you in business or friendship. Do not take it personal, but please respect my decision. It isn't anything you did to me, I just believe we are not compatible and it will not be good if we hang out.

G

DanielDudley · 02-05-2016, 12:02 PM

Sounds like you don't really have anything against him, but you don't really have anything for him either.

He needs to start fresh with new people. Tell him that.

Letting him back in is giving him permission for whatever else happens. You wouldn't be doing him any favors if you allowed that.

rfloz · 02-05-2016, 12:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by fastfredracing

Funny ,but when he got out of prison, he was preaching the gospel brother. He had found the lord, and was born again! even preaching to me about accepting Jesus Christ into me life . About 10 minutes later, he was asking me to generate false repair invoices, so he could cheat advance auto parts out of a free exhaust system .

He hasn't changed. He's not going to change. He will drag you down given half a chance. Hit the eject button.

Tobra · 02-05-2016, 02:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mark Henry

Actually I'm not kidding, often a $100 loan, then asking for repayment, is the cheapest way to get rid of someone for good.

Ha, only cost me $50 when I did it, inflation I guess.

He has got to go. Brutally honest is how I would go with it.