sure to be a hotbutton issue: dontmarry.wordpress.com - Page 6

Gretch · 02-11-2016, 03:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cockerpunk

and you wonder why some of us are against marriage. lol. so blackmail is the only tool they have. and you guys are happy to be victims of it? if you want to see me tomorrow, you have to spend your life with me? hahaha, what fool would fall for that?

thats not defending marriage, thats making it the punchline us unmarried guys think it already is.

why do women think they deserve a legal relationship after a few years? **** that, thats a stupid deal any way you cut it. thats an insane expectation.

Because they know pussy has the half life of a fine wine............ once it is vinegar, no one will pay for it. Gotta strike while the pussy is hot............ why is this so hard for you to understand?

Taz's Master · 02-11-2016, 04:16 PM

If you're happy married, and someone else is happy unmarried, one isn't necessarily right and the other wrong. This thread seems to me like telling someone what their favorite color should be.

Rick Lee · Rick Lee's Garage

There was a guy who posted here years ago, Dan in Pasadena, IIRC. I think he said he was totally blindsided when, after 25 yrs. of seemingly marital bliss, his wife came home one day and said she wanted out. That scares the hell out of me. I got married at 36 and we're 7.5 yrs. in. All is well. But when you can be totally blindsided after 25 yrs., that makes me wonder. I hope to be retired by then and a financially ruinous divorce would be bad enough at a young age. It'd be unimaginable in my 60s.

dafischer · 02-11-2016, 06:11 PM

Here's a thread that the OP started last year, where he thinks that marriage is just hunky-dory.

http://forums.pelicanparts.com/off-topic-politics-religion/872249-gay-marriage-wins.html#post8684271

Then, he starts this one.

http://forums.pelicanparts.com/off-topic-politics-religion/864099-marriage-what-good.html

Then, he starts this one.

Anyone else think that there might be some issues here?

Maybe just looking for validation of his choice of lifestyle, not that there's anything wrong with that.

Porsche-O-Phile · Porsche-O-Phile's Garage

It happens every day Rick - that's kind of the point here. A person can have a "bad hormone day" and REALLY screw up another's life for any reason or no reason at all at any time. Marriages have really turned into time bombs - enabled by a very greedy and predatory legal services industry. People change and people do some really crazy, weird and unexpected stuff sometimes. The laws we have enable a helluva lot of potential damage (directed almost solely at males). Heck, criminals get off easier than some guys I know that did nothing wrong other than having former spouses who got bored, wanted a change, didn't feel like standing by them through a difficult time, whatever. None of these are valid "fault" reasons for divorce but "no fault" laws don't require a reason other than "irreconcilable differences" and if one person says they want out and the other one says "WTF - I want to stay together and work at it" then guess what? That's an irreconcilable difference in the eyes of the courts and it's an automatic grant of motion and the guy gets shellacked - systematically and with machine-like precision. I've witnessed this first hand with two very close family members and a handful of friends. The system is shockingly automated and ruthlessly efficient at dismantling a man's life, income, assets and future. I never thought government could be so efficient until I saw it happen and heard the horror stories myself!

A lot of people on here (who probably didn't even read the original article) seem to get SO defensive about this to the point they try to deflect the discussion into personal attacks or assumptions about what other peoples' personal situations are (like they even matter). I get very amused at some of the assumptions FP and others here make about me - they're completely wrong and I often enjoy good laughs over their assumptions). Peoples personal situations have nothing to do with this original point is and remains that men are extremely vulnerable given the current state of laws surrounding this institution.

At the end of the day people just don't like being confronted with realities that they're not comfortable with (the "inconvenient truth" phenomenon - people will create vehement denials and elaboraterationalizations rather than waking up to basic realities, even when presented with overwhelming evidence). Humans are curious - they'd rather bury their heads in the sand, pretend everything is fine and that anybody who hasn't been as lucky as they are (up to now anyway) obviously did something wrong.

The reality on this particular issue is that people who do absolutely nothing wrong end up having their lives, retirements, incomes, savings and families destroyed every day simply to support a bunch of greedy lawyers and people who just want a free ride on someone else's back. It's truly shameful and IMHO one of the biggest embarrassments "American culture" presents.

Then again if you believe the vitriolic rants from FP (who repeatedly claims to "love men" yet oddly views them all as potential wife-beating ogres) it's fine for women to destroy mens' lives because, presumably, they deserve it and even if they don't, some other men in the past did and hey - that's good enough. I wonder who pays for all her nice shoes, cars and other stuff... Hmm... Puzzle pieces seem to be falling into place... I'll stop there.

To you and everyone else in wedded bliss - congrats and good luck. I really hope it works out well for you even though statistically it won't. I sincerely hope you beat the odds and that if you do get a "surprise" it happens early enough in your lives where you can possibly recover from it and eke out a semi-decent life and maybe even a retirement someday. I have a couple of people close to me who weren't so fortunate.

cockerpunk · 02-12-2016, 05:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dafischer

Here's a thread that the OP started last year, where he thinks that marriage is just hunky-dory.

http://forums.pelicanparts.com/off-topic-politics-religion/872249-gay-marriage-wins.html#post8684271

Then, he starts this one.

http://forums.pelicanparts.com/off-topic-politics-religion/864099-marriage-what-good.html

Then, he starts this one.

Anyone else think that there might be some issues here?

Maybe just looking for validation of his choice of lifestyle, not that there's anything wrong with that.

gay marriage versus straight marriage is an issue of rights.

the decision to actually get married, is a choice.

EMJ · 02-12-2016, 06:04 AM

PoP...

Palimony: Palimony is the division of financial assets and real property on the termination of a personal live-in relationship wherein the parties are not legally married. Wiki...

You do realize you don't need to be married to get the shaft, right? And if kids are involved, you think you won't pay child support if you're not married? Your vendetta against marriage is silly.

EMJ · 02-12-2016, 06:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cockerpunk

gay marriage versus straight marriage is an issue of rights.

the decision to actually get married, is a choice.

Um, sure.

dafischer · 02-12-2016, 06:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cockerpunk

gay marriage versus straight marriage is an issue of rights.

the decision to actually get married, is a choice.

Ah, but marriage is marriage, is it not?

aschen · 02-12-2016, 06:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Porsche-O-Phile

I

I really hope it works out well for you even though statistically it won't.
.

Statistically it will work out. The 50% divorce rate seems completely made up. Divorce is in decline. The actual statistics are difficult, but according to google nobody thinks the odds of divorce are actually worse than even.

What are the odds of divorce if you are a college educated couple that gets married passed the age of say 28? I don'k now the exact numbers but I skimmed a couple articles and it seems its more like 1 in 3.

Divorce is not of course rare however you consider the data, but the glass is more full than half.

aschen · 02-12-2016, 06:32 AM

Im not sure "your marriage may dissolve in 20-30 years" is a particularly compelling argument against marriage.

Some interesting, but impossible to get, data would be to interview a bunch of people in this scenario. Compile data for the question "knowing what you know now would you have not entered the marriage"?

Again if this is a simple practical argument, health insurance is the ace

scottmandue · 02-12-2016, 06:34 AM

I know this won't get much traction here but ironically this popped up randomly on my facebook page this morning:

"VERY few people ever state properly the strong argument in favour of marrying for love or against marrying for money. The argument is not that all lovers are heroes and heroines, nor is it that all dukes are profligates or all millionaires cads. The argument is this, that the differences between a man and a woman are at the best so obstinate and exasperating that they practically cannot be got over unless there is an atmosphere of exaggerated tenderness and mutual interest. To put the matter in one metaphor, the sexes are two stubborn pieces of iron; if they are to be welded together, it must be while they are red-hot. Every woman has to find out that her husband is a selfish beast, because every man is a selfish beast by the standard of a woman. But let her find out the beast while they are both still in the story of "Beauty and the Beast". Every man has to find out that his wife is cross—that is to say, sensitive to the point of madness: for every woman is mad by the masculine standard. But let him find out that she is mad while her madness is more worth considering than anyone else's sanity."
~G.K. Chesterton: 'Two Stubborn Pieces of Iron.'

EMJ · 02-12-2016, 06:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dafischer

Ah, but marriage is marriage, is it not?

Great question. With gay marriage now, plenty of men giving the shaft to their husbands in divorce. Happens all the time. So all of this anti woman, marriage, divorce talk is just veiled misogyny.

cockerpunk · 07:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gretch

Because they know pussy has the half life of a fine wine............ once it is vinegar, no one will pay for it. Gotta strike while the pussy is hot............ why is this so hard for you to understand?

Quote:

Originally Posted by EMJ

Great question. With gay marriage now, plenty of men giving the shaft to their husbands in divorce. Happens all the time. So all of this anti woman, marriage, divorce talk is just veiled misogyny.

yeah ... right ...

i see a lot of folks defending marriage making highly sexist comments. such as the above "pussy has the half life of fine wine"

cockerpunk · 02-12-2016, 07:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dafischer

Ah, but marriage is marriage, is it not?

i dont get what is confusing.

gay marriage being legal, and the fight to do so, was a battle of removing prejudice and religion from our legal code.

the personal choice to get married or not, is totally separate from that.

EMJ · 02-12-2016, 07:43 AM

Nice dodge. Are you in support of gay marriage? Marriage is marriage, no?

cockerpunk · 02-12-2016, 07:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by EMJ

Nice dodge. Are you in support of gay marriage? Marriage is marriage, no?

absolutely im in support of gay marriage.

do you somehow think im advocating that we should make marriage illegal?

do you not understand there is a difference between what personal choices one makes, and what should and should not be legal? are you an idiot?

EMJ · 02-12-2016, 07:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cockerpunk

absolutely im in support of gay marriage.

do you somehow think im advocating that we should make marriage illegal?

do you not understand there is a difference between what personal choices one makes, and what should and should not be legal? are you an idiot?

No, but you're totally against marriage, so why would you be FOR gay marriage, legally or otherwise? Fake idealism? You're talking out of both sides of your very uninformed mouth.

cockerpunk · 02-12-2016, 07:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by EMJ

No, but you're totally against marriage, so why would you be FOR gay marriage, legally or otherwise? Fake idealism? You're talking out of both sides of your very uninformed mouth.

what?

i don't enjoy gambling, but i don't think it should be illegal.
i'm not a cyclist, but i don't think biking should be illegal.
i don't smoke pot, but i think it should be legal to do so.

i personally don't see a reason to get married, but homosexuals shouldn't be denied the right to if they want to.

you could have simply answered with "yes" to my question. its obvious you cannot grasp the concept that one could separate personal decision making, with enforcing your moral choices on everyone else.

aschen · 02-12-2016, 08:06 AM

Im all for gays getting married if they like.

Ideally the discussion of marriage choice could be neutral with regard to orientation. However, the original linked article is very clearly directed at straight men, the misogyny is not veiled or implied or even apologetic about it.

again its clear some of yall are just looking for an argument, which is fine I guess.