I think I'd have asked Markie Post to help...

I can only assume that there's a lot of guys going commando. I just don't see how it's possible otherwise.

BTW, my cousin produced "There's Something About Mary." His mom and all of the aunts' reaction was basically, "Congratulations on having the biggest film of the summer your first time out and making hundreds of millions of dollars but next time could you maybe try to be a little less gross?" :D:D

The jizz as hair mousse was what really pushed it over the finish line at Thanksgiving dinner for the old Catholic ladies.

Two words....gun belt.

You have your weapon, baton, pepper spray, handcuffs, first aid kit, nitrile gloves, flashlight, spare magazines, and often much more. Most LEO's would make Batman envious. It's a fair amount of weight just begging to drop everything clear to the deck as soon as you undo the top button. Especially if you have no hips or ass to begin with.

The fly method is pretty much your only choice unless you have suspenders attached to the belt and pretty much impossible underway. That was the only reason I wore "unauthorized" suspenders on my gun belt in the Coast Guard. Trying to piss off the side of a rocking and rolling boat is bad enough.-WW

The fly method is good and all, except when you really need to go, and the shirt (usually a button down dress shirt) gets in the way and confuses things. I've also got an oversize pair of boxers, which I sometimes put on backwards and you'd never even know, except that you are in the critical pee countdown phase ...like three... two... one... ignition.... and finding the hole is a no-go. It's like the rocket engines are igniting, but the rocket release launch supports have not let go of the rocket yet.

Something like that.

This sounds like a large number of interconnected system failures. Back to the drawing board...

First of all, the zipper was NOT made so you can pee out of it without taking your belt/top button off of your pants. (Seen any women's pants lately?) Not sure who the lazy slob was that first started doing it that way. Ha ha.. I have tried many times and it just wont work right that way. End up getting it all over me. And no, my pants never leave their position on my body.. Yes, it seems to take longer to tuck shirts/etc back in to place, but I always ended up taking everything loose if I try to not do it because everything gets bunched up.. lol.

And WOW, YES, I would LOVE to punch every MFer in the face who doesnt lift the seat to pee!

I only use the zipper hole during weasel skin weather.

Are you related to the Beddor family?

What’s the problem? I use the zipper fly all the time, even in cold weather. Just gotta find the little acorn sometimes.

A guy at work zipped his unit one time EMT came and took him away. If Leroy wasn’t so ****ing big, he would caught he’ll for it.

If you lift the lid after you let one skid,
It won't be wet when you gotta set....

While I'm not surprised this question came up, Vash always has an usual question, I cannot believe that there are grown men out there that have not used the zipper for its most useful purpose...

And then there are those that can't manage to deal with a zipper and underwear, or a zipper and a tucked in shirt.

I am afraid for you.

I take it you assume it was his name own.

Yes. My cousins.

Tommy John Underwear + mens jeans, dress pants or whatever has a zipper = why was this not done sooner?

I always thought the zipper was for your girl(s). You know, while in an elevator, subway car, adjacent airplane seat, stop light, etc.

Several years ago my wife worked for an older executive who was prone to fits of rage which would often result in peed pants. He would just carry on like nothing happened. She got out of there pretty quickly.

If you have ever done janitorial work in a public restroom, you'll find that women also do not use the seat.

Also in some cultures the whole idea of a seat is alien, Turkish toilet.

You can tell when someone used to Turkish toilets had diarrhea. There are clean feet marks on the seat that don't have brown.

I tend to find that it is when corporate groups of the suit and tie variety are in a place, that set of people are the worst about urinating on toilet seats(Excluding the obvious turkish toilet style dive bombs).

I think it is because they consider their own time more important than whoever has to clean up after them.

I find that the three button shirt and collar tend to be the neatest.

Just observations from convention centers rather than actual corporate headquarters.

I tried once but MAN do those things seal up tight! Next time I'll try unzipping first.

I’d have to find some pants with a big enough zipper opening first.....