Do you have any super anal friends?...wait..let me rephrase that!!

[2porscheguy]

Not a rant just an observation.....

We have known our good friends J and his wife G for close to 30 years now. G has always been "somewhat" anal but lately, say in the last decade, it has gotten off the charts! They have no children by choice but have recently gotten a pet dog called P, whom they treat as their only son.

They own a beautiful jewel box of a house (small but extremely well decorated) in a prime area west of the city. G pretty much refurnishes the house about every 5 years with new high end furniture. They have a Home&Gardens professionally landscaped back yard with a beautiful stone fireplace, outdoor kitchen with granite countertops, top end teak outdoor furniture, and of course professionally designed decorative planters. They have lived there for about 12 years.

We have NEVER been invited over! In fact the only time I've been over is when I've dropped in unannounced to "drop something off". Wait, we were invited over for their first New Years eve party after they first moved in. That was quite the occasion! If you left your near empty glass on a counter it was very quickly wisked away by G and put into the dishwasher. Our nephew, who was 7 at the time accidentally spilled some Coke on their off-white carpet in the basement to which J reacted in horror! J made all of us quickly go back upstairs to distract G so that she wouldn't come downstairs and witness the "carnage"! G gave J severe s h i t that night as she eventually found out what happened..it was obviously all his fault... We have never been invited over since....

On the other hand, we have them over for many occasions.. family BBQs, new years eve, Christmas open houses, birthdays, etc...in fact both our dog and their dog's birthdays are celebrated at OUR place. They are probably over for some occasion about twice a month.

Don't want to make this post too long so I'll call it Part A!

And what about you guys?

[masraum]

Interesting, it sounds like an OCD style anal retentive person.

It's great that they don't wig out when they are at your place.

I don't think I know any folks like that, but then I don't do that much socializing.

[look 171]

Just pee a little on the toilet seat and leave it up. Muhahahaha

[stomachmonkey]

Yeah it sounds quirky but everyone has a trigger.

Could be that the stress of worrying about their home, and how they want it maintained, is too overwhelming for them hence no invite.

My BIL liked my kids, was great with them, but whenever we went over to their place he was on pins and needles.

Me, I have a hard time watching my wife cook or clean.

She makes messes that she does not need to. The mess itself does not stress me, it's that the mess did not need to happen that stresses me. The inefficiency and laziness of it.

End of day, if you rang their bell with a dead body draped over your shoulder are they the kind of friends who would answer the door and say "I'll grab a shovel"?

That's all that really matters.

[ckelly78z]

I purposely distance myself from the Martha Stewart types. I do notice quite a bit of OCD in various people I meet (who then use sanitizer after touching anything....Germiphobe!)

I have to laugh at these folks who live in thier perfect little cocoons, especially when they venture onto my farm....with animals.

-I park, and drive through our yard.
-I have stone driveways
-I have loose free-range chickens
-I burn firewood almost exclusively
-I have 2 inside dogs, and 2 inside cats
-I generally keep the house somewhat clean, but don't always.
-I can drink from the same hose I just sprayed down a horse stall with.

If they don't like it, stay away.....no real loss.

[2porscheguy]

Last month B, a mutual friend of ours , who moved to the "island" (Vancouver Island) was in town. We hadn't seen him in two years. We wanted to get together for a few beers and some food on a weekday afternoon. J and I live fairly close together...about a ten minute drive. It was going to be a beautiful day so I suggested to J why don't we just go hang around your back yard "oasis" and you could cook us some burgers? B said that that would be a great idea! "Ya, J cook for us for a change!!"

J suggested we go to some bar in town (Shanks) as they were having a Friday lunch wing special. Both B and I said (this is all via email btw) why go to a bar on a nice hot sunny day....let's hang out at your place dude?

J later emails me and states that G would be at work that day so it's a NO GO on their place. I said "what...you can't have anybody over unless she's there??"

His reply "G doesn't want me having people over "making a mess"!

Me: Really? WOW!....OK, we'll meet at Shanks then!

[Bob Kontak]

Originally Posted by 2porscheguy

If you left your near empty glass on a counter it was very quickly wisked away by G and put into the dishwasher.

That's my 30 year pal to a T.

He has no kids, no divorces, and a wife that pulled down a nice living across 30 years on top of his extremely solid salary - in any US location. Secondary, though.

I visit his house a couple times a year. Crash in the splendid room he had built as far away from his master BR as possible. Has it cleaned professionally before and after my visit.

Best OCD highlight:

Took half a pint of craft beer to my bedroom one night. In the morning, first thing he says, "You got that glass?"

Cool thing is I can beat him up about the OCD and he beats me up about my ADD mentality in fun, for the most part. Polar opposites. He is Felix, I am Oscar.

[wildthing]

Stop inviting them.

EDIT: Unless of course you invite them for your own entertainment by watching how they act.

[Porsche-O-Phile]

Originally Posted by look 171

Just pee a little on the toilet seat and leave it up. Muhahahaha

Or leave an "upper decker". 😈

[look 171]

2porsche guy,

Sorry to hear. No fun.

When we were kids, a distance relative invited us to their house for the holiday. We were told to not go into the Living rm, Dinning rm or the kitchen. WE were not allow to sit on the couch, only to use the bathroom in the hallway that's was for people other then immediately family. So all of us kids (about 10-16 year olds) has to stay in the family room that had some type hard but easy to clean flooring of some kind. My dad made me stand for some time due to the lack of seat in the family rm. So my sister and I decided to seat on the floor in the corner of that room for some time until we got someone left to get food. we never want back since. I have no idea what happened to those people? I really don't want to know.

[RKDinOKC]

Have friends that have nobody over for the opposite reason. They have never mowed or even ventured into their back yard for over 15 years, and there is a deck off the master bedroom. Deck also overgrown is never used. There is no room in the garage for cars. Only space is for trash bin and lawn mower. The rest is boxes and bins. House is decorated with things they have collected. Lots of them. They only clean well enough to have a path through the house and to the things they use. They are extroverts. Ask about anything and they know exactly where it is and can pull it right out. No pets unless you count the raccoons in the attic.

Was told by his wife that she lets me visit because show knows I don't care about how neat they keep their stuff.

[pwd72s]

When I lived in town on a small lot, I was anal about yard work. Lawn always neatly trimmed, sculptured shrubbery, etc.

Now that I live on an acreage? If it grows too high, I mow it. If it gets in the way, I prune it. Still plenty to do. Weed control? Roundup, weedmaster, and Crossbow are my friends.

[RKDinOKC]

Had a friend in grade school that we were never allowed in the formal living room. There was one exception. All the furniture would be moved to the garage and covered in plastic and we were allowed to setup our combined HO slot car tracks. Four of us put all our track stuff together. We made some amazing tracks. At some point his Mom would say that's enough. We would pack up all our track and the living room would resume it's no entry mode.

[2porscheguy]

Originally Posted by wildthing

Stop inviting them.

EDIT: Unless of course you invite them for your own entertainment by watching how they act.

Oh, sometimes that is GREAT entertainment!!..... though it's definitely way more of her than him! In fact when she's not around J will often make fun of her! He told us that she will swiffer their entire floor at least twice a day on sunny days because their dark hardwood floors show all the dust. Oh, I forgot to mention the floors....when they first learned that they would soon be getting a puppy they immediately had their (beautiful ash hardwood) floors covered in a special thin laminate flooring (around $15K cost) so that the wood floors wouldn't get scratched by the dog. The laminate would be removed when it came time to selling the house!! WTF?

[911SauCy]

UNfortunately, these folks are this way for likely many reasons.

I'll go with, can't stand each other so have incessant need to focus attention things they can control.

They don't live in reality... They don't have kids, or people they could invite over, and with that absence of true affection, they're continually trying to find it through things.

They'll die alone with a "perfect" little house with everything just "perfect"

...I have (had) a neighbor like this. Husband and wife, very wealthy, both retired successful business owners, crazy anal retentives...Wednesday before Labor Day husband killed himself in their garage...

[vash]

is this anal? neat tidy house..maybe more anti-social?

whatever. if they are decent friends, so be it. you called them "good friends". maybe they have some deep-seeded aversion to anyone seeing their inner sanctum..whatever.

i dont think my friendships are based on quid pro quo. just let it go...caulk it off as odd, and be happy they have each other in all their oddness. hell, if he was my 30 year longterm friend..i'd flat out ask him. i would trust the friendship is good enough for some hard honesty.

[Bob Kontak]

Originally Posted by 911SauCy

I'll go with, can't stand each other so have incessant need to focus attention things they can control.

Yes, Sir. This is a home run.

[Por_sha911]

Some folks have their quirks. Others are just outright whack-a-doodles. I would think that if they don't want you in their home then they would offer to take you out to dinner once in a while.
Regardless of this, if you like them and enjoy their visits then just accept that the parameters of your friendship is limited to visits at your house only. If you feel like you are being taken advantage of then just stop inviting them and in all probability it will end the friendship. Either love them for who they are or dump them but don't be aggravated.

[911SauCy]

Originally Posted by vash

is this anal? neat tidy house..maybe more anti-social?

whatever. if they are decent friends, so be it. you called them "good friends". maybe they have some deep-seeded aversion to anyone seeing their inner sanctum..whatever.

i dont think my friendships are based on quid pro quo. just let it go...caulk it off as odd, and be happy they have each other in all their oddness. hell, if he was my 30 year longterm friend..i'd flat out ask him. i would trust the friendship is good enough for some hard honesty.

Mrs Saucy and I are VERY neat and tidy, even with a 3 and 2 year old our house, yard and cars are very well kept. For us, it's a function of how we were raised and respect our "nice things."

However, we are by no means anal... Ex: Small human bike can remain in back yard grass entire week, dog chew toys are randomly strewn about back yard (both get moved while mowing) but the inside of the house is vac'd every other day, kitchen cleaned nightly etc etc

[Nickshu]

OP...you just described my parents. It was fun growing up in that house. I have a touch of it but I keep it under control b/c I know how out of hand it can get.