WWVD-What Would Vash Do?

[LWJ]

How is it that nobody has suggested this? Sex Panther.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=65UhRV75wOQ

[john70t]

Originally Posted by wayner

I wasn't always this way, but I am now of the mindset that if a relationship is going to blow up over this sort of thing, better to blow it up immediately and take the short term pain long term gain. If you are in a long term relationship with an over the top jealous person, you may want to take protective measures first. If you have a healthy relationship, she will laugh (or call you stinky)

Yeah that's good advice.
I attempted the futility of connection and interest in every way for a long time (wasted decade) as an unpaid actor, languished, self-imposed, languished, rotted, suddenly and seriously got backed into a corner in defense too many times, and stayed that way for a longer time than even necessary, languished, lost myself, and finally realized it wold be better for us both if it were separate.

Or maybe she was telling me, but I didn't understand.
(I wanted to give her the benefit always, even in the face of all facts and hostility and reason. Because relationships are complimentary.)

Either way..I should have gone to where life was more good and beneficial.
Because life is too short to waste it.

[Tervuren]

If something odd happened I would share.

[Geronimo '74]

Expensive cologne means crush

Cheapo stuff means someone thinks you stink.

Listerine or toothpaste.... well, you get how this works...

Tell the wife. Maybe she gets mad (crush), maybe she’s happy (she thinks you stink...)

[mreid]

Originally Posted by bivenator

I don't wear any cologne, ever. My wife bought some for me about a decade ago and it is almost halfway done.

Fresh clothes, always a pair of clean scrubs.


I think some of you are blaming me for this harrassment. Victim blaming, I didn't ask for this and don't think I can function in such a sexist enviroment. I am taking my perfume and going home.

Crawl under your desk. It’s a safe space.

One bottle would be a nice gift, two bottles means either you stink or a fatty wants a ride. I’m leaning towards number two given your stated office demographics and that there was no note. No note demonstrates a lack of self-worth and insecurity. Two bottles means they plan on getting real sweaty with you. Hide under your desk. You’ll be safe there.

[wayner]

OMG! Stalker????

Or maybe someone’s out to get you and it’s tainted with sulphuric acid?

Wait, maybe an absorbable hallucinogen?

That’s it, someone is after your job!!

I’ll bet they’ve been following you since college, and have recently obtained a clip board in order to gain access to your facility!

Have any of your scrubs gone missing?

I would move and leave no forwarding address.
Check your brake lines each morning

Start growing your own crops just in case

Two bottles of cologne, I think this is how it starts!

[bivenator]

I told Mrs bivenator last night. It was a little awkward as I explained the situation. I probably should have just tossed the stuff in trash and gone on about my life. One effect from the "confession" was making "nachos" with my bride that night. I refrained from asking if she wanted me to wear the cologne.

[Pazuzu]

Originally Posted by bivenator

was making "nachos" with my bride that night.

I don't think I am smelly

If you call that making nachos, then I assume that cheese and beans were involved, and therefore you are a smelly person.

[sammyg2]

Originally Posted by stevej37

There's your problem....supposed to spray it on yourself....not cook it.

[sammyg2]

Originally Posted by mreid

Crawl under your desk. It’s a safe space.

two bottles means either you stink or a fatty wants a ride.

I believe the PC term is "moped".

[fintstone]

Originally Posted by bivenator

...Nope, just some young thing hopelessly held under my powerful spell, not smell.

So I started an inventory of who it could be. Of the 30+ women in the company, at least half could crush me under their weight. A quarter are suffering hot flashes or are nearing retirement.
The other quarter, well, hmm.

...amusing responses however most didn't answer whether they would tell the wifeypoo.

Maybe one of the "4 hairy legged dudes"?

[GH85Carrera]

The other day I returned from the airport and it was rather hot in the hangar before and after the flight. By the time I returned home at 7:00 PM I was a bit odoriferous. I was in the kitchen long enough to get a beer. My wife was not subtle, she explained that I need a shower or I am sleeping in the garage because "you stink." She is real subtle like that.

In the day of the sexual harassment and trips to the HR for saying "you look nice" to a lady I would not say anything to anyone. I would leave them on your desk and and wait until trash day and throw them out at the office.

[sammyg2]

Sorry in advance, but I just can't help myself:

Plane makes emergency landing after passengers vomit, faint from 'unbearable' smell of 'unwashed' man onboard
By Alexandra Deabler

A Transavia flight to the Spanish island of Gran Canaria was forced to make an emergency landing in Portugal when several passengers reportedly became ill by the “unbearable” smell of an “unwashed” man onboard.

The male passenger allegedly smelled so bad that others on the flight began fainting and vomiting once the plane took off from Schiphol Airport in the Netherlands.

"It was like he hadn't washed himself for several weeks. Several passengers got sick and had to puke,” van Haut said.

According to the publication, airline crew members tried to keep the man contained in the airplane bathroom while the pilot diverted the flight.


The man was taken off the plane and placed on a bus by medical personnel. (CEN)

The plane landed in Faro in Portugal where the man was removed from the Boeing 737 and placed on a bus by medical personnel.

In a statement to Express from Transavia, the airliner confirmed the emergency landing was due to “medical reasons.”

"The aeroplane diverted because of medical reasons, but it is indeed right that he smelled quite a bit," a Transavia spokesperson told the news site.

It is unknown what medical condition – if any – the man suffered from.

Transavia did not immediately return a request for comment.

[KFC911]

Bath in the Old Spice one day, the Hai Karate the next....rinse, lather, repeat. See who comments....then RUN !

[john70t]

Airline seats are getting smaller while people are getting bigger.
Something has to give.

I recently sat next to a 60yo 4'9" wafer thin pakistani who went out of his way to crowd my armrest and react every time I moved an inch. I did not smell. Tried to rationalize it as he was 3rd world citizen and not used to flight travel on the big tube in the sky, but then out of the corner of my eye noticed he scraped something from around the tray table and flicked it in my direction. His wife and teenage kids sat in front of us wearing the full cape and gown gettups. He was a grown manchild tweaker or looking for the lawsuit lottery or whatever. Not my problem.

Some people will just need to mess with other people because they have ADHD and are bored.

[wdfifteen]

Originally Posted by bivenator

Would you tell your wife?

I would ask her if I smell bad.

[Steve Carlton]

Unless your wife is Meghan Markle, she's going to tell you without asking.

[Crowbob]

20 years ago I sat next to a man on a flight from Rome to Chicago.

He looked clean and acted normal in every way except that he smelled turrible. To this day I remember the odor.

I don't know what it was or what may have caused it but it was like nothing I'd ever smelt before or since. The man did not appear unwashed and the odor was not one typically associated with the neglect of hygiene practices.

It was a rotten sort of pungency like a musty dish towel soaked in vinegar. I think he may have been sick.

[Steve Carlton]

It might have been a tumor.

[sammyg2]

thanks.