admit to your stupidity

[ADRNLN]

OK, two quickies... but both from my aircooled VW days (no catastrophes with 911 yet...)

With my '68, every time it rained, the car would quit. After a spell, car would crank back up again and run fine, especially after it quit raining. I troubleshooted (troubleshot?) every damn thing I could think of. Finally said, "Screw it" and put in a used replacement motor. After all, I had plenty around. Turned out the problem was simple: water in the gas tank! The breather hose had slipped a tad too low to the ground and due to a siphoning effect, would suck up rain water (believe it or not!)

Second story: after one particular engine rebuild, I had the whole job done and the engine back in the car. Filled it with oil. Drove it a few blocks, then noticed the trail of oil I left behind me. Guess what? Forgot to put the crankshaft seal in! This is the spring-loaded seal that sits between the two crankcase halves, right behind the crank/timing pulley. Without it, the oil just runs right out! D'oh! A two day job flushed down the toilet all because of a $2 rubber o-ring. That's one of those mistakes you ONLY make once. But once is enough!

--Steve

[GIBSON]

I swore I wasn't going to post this here but I'm doing it anyway.
Can't believe what an idiot I am sometimes. I've been working on my cars since 1974, you'd think that over that period I'd learn something. I guess not.
I was working on the muffler and heat exchangers on my 73S.
Jacked up the rear after loosening the lug nuts on the rear wheels. It's just a habit as I almost always find I have to remove the wheels anyway and if I dont loosen the lugnuts it's guaranteed I'll have to remove the wheels. So I get the car up on jack stands, end up removing the right rear wheel and after a couple of days get the work finished. I put the wheel back on, torque the lug nuts and several days later take it to work.
Well, of course, the drivers rear lug nuts are loose. It's 6:45 am, I've gone about 3/4 of a mile and boom, the whole car drops
down on the left rear, horrible noises are coming from that side and I figure I've really destroyed the car. I pull it off to the side, the entire universe drives by and stares, most of the people I know in the world drive that road to work, I'm trying to vanish into thin air. I call AAA, nobody shows up, finally a CHP officer pulls up behind me. Then all the traffic starts to slow down even more and I feel like on stage.
Turns out to be the best CHP officer you could hope for. A car guy, really helpful, he starts walking down the road looking for lug nuts, by this time we figure I might be able to get the rear wheel back on. He finds 2 lug nuts, I take one off of each other wheel 'till I have 5, the AAA guy finally shows up, we jack up the car, bolt the wheel back on and I drive home.
Massive damage to the factory RS rear bumper, the fender is crunched big time and I'm considering selling every tool I have and never working on a car again.
Well, I've got a good friend who owns the best body shop in town, I get it to him a few weeks later (all his guys were gone
over the Christmas holidays) and he says, no problem, I can get it
fixed. 9 weeks later it's back, better than new with zero evidence of problems and no bondo needed. He won't charge me for the work ( I fix his teeth, he fixes my mistakes, pretty good trade).
I still feel like an idiot but the car has forgiven me, now I just have to work on the fool with the wrench. I'll keep working on the car but with an increased sense of what I'm doing and more care to check the lugnuts. It's great therapy to get out and work on the car after a long day and that won't change, guess it's time for a checklist as the brain is not functioning as well as it used to.
That's my story, learn from my screw-up and check everything before you put the car back on the road.

[ADRNLN]

Great story, Bruce!

[djmcmath]

Wow, Bruce, that one hurts. Painful to read.

I'll add one from this weekend working on my Dad's Honda. The distributor mounts onto the overhead camshaft with a neat little slotted mechanism. If I line up the slots just right, it only takes a little force to push the dizzie in past the rubber seal into it's place. If you don't get the slots lined up, it takes a whole lot of force.

You guessed it -- it's the end of a long weekend of engine-swapping, and it didn't even occur to me that I could have mis-lined the slot. So rather than pulling it out to check, I shrug and announce that it's close enough to get the bolts into place, and I'm sure it'll just suck right in. I was starting to get worried when it felt like I was really pulling on it, and the dizzie wasn't going any farther in ... then one of the three mounts gave out on me.

Stupid cheap aluminum Honda parts. But it's alright -- the other engine has this part intact, so we'll just pull it off that one, and put it on this one, right? Easy, right? Turns out that the dizzie mount is actually kind of a one-piece affair with the rocker arm lever mount thingies. So you pull the valve cover off, then loosen all of the rocker arm bolts, jiggle the rocker arms all out of the way, and you can just get enough clearance to get the end-piece (which is the dizzie mount) off.

No problems, only takes about 15 minutes, now I just have to put it on the other side. But in the process of putting it on, I managed to drop one of the rocker arm assemblies down inside the engine bay (remember I had to loosen the rocker arm mounting bolts?). Well, I was just positive I had gotten all of the parts, and I was really tired, but I was just certain I had gotten it back in place correctly.

Mysteriously, however, when I went to put the dizzie mount back on, it wouldn't quite go. I mean it was really close. Close enough that I was just sure a little tap with a hammer would knock it right into place, no problem. Hmmm ... the little hammer's not quite big enough. Maybe a little bigger hammer? Hmmm ... maybe a 5 pound sledge and a big punch? Hmmm ... maybe if I .... Ooh, is it supposed to bend like that?

(sigh) Try explaining to the guy at the Honda dealer how you managed to get all those hammer-marks in the side of your dizzie mount. Lotsa fun.

[Hugh R]

Not me, my kids. My wife and I came back from a trip and found this gasoline container on the back patio bar. Look closely, its melted like someone tried to light the fire pit and left it too close to the fire. I'm investigation who knows what.

Upon investigation my son (the Eagel Scout candidate) says he sloshed gas on a low fire in the fire pit and what a surprise, the fire caught and ran up the gas to the container, he threw it down and stomped it out. I had a real straight talk with him.

[Christien]

I knew I'd be making an entry in this thread sooner or later...

My car spends every night in the garage. Sunday night was only it's second night out under the stars since I've owned it. Well, it was raining so I figured I might want to protect the engine a bit from the rain. I decided to lift the decklid and put a garbage bag over the engine to keep it more or less dry. You can probably figure out the rest of this story already.

I know, I know - put a post-it on the steering wheel. I knew I'd forget, and sure enough I did. Luckily I noticed the engine sounded a bit strange after I fired it up in the morning, and it didn't run for more than 1 or 2 seconds. That was enough time to completely chew up the garbage bag and embed it in the fan pulley, underneat the fan belt. It actually turned the fan belt inside out in the process! I had to remove the entire pulley to clear it all out. Luckily no damage to anything - 2 hours on the highway confirmed all was well, except my ego...

[FredC]

I'm young and foolish and go to my buddy's cottage located on a lake for a week-end of merriment and cheer...his driveway is long, straight and steep, ending at a T intersection against a road that borders the lake. At the end of the road is the Prime Minister's summer residence. I borrow their dunebuggy (VW bug, no body, just 2 seats and an engine and boot it down the driveway. Hit the brakes and the left rear locks up, I'm not going to make it, heading straight for the lake. At the last moment, I see two large black cars approaching on the road...big trouble. Just as I hit the T intersection, I broadside the limo, putting a big dent in the passenger door. All the cops jump out of the escort vehicles and Pierre Trudeau rolls down his window and asks me if I'm OK. A little shook up I respond "I'm fine sir! sorry!!" he smiles, rolls up his window and the entourage speeds away. I spent the next few days waiting to get arrested...I've since chalked it up to a fond memory.

Fred C, Ottawa, Canada.

[wholberg]

I've been wrenching on my cars for more than 25 years, so I'll share a couple of the more memorable ones.

1. Young and clueless--I was pulling the transmission on a '66 International and figured I could do it without help. Pulled it out and set it down on my chest, or rather, it set down on my chest. Limited space, couldn't breathe...it took me a minute or two to get out from under it, and my chest hurt for weeks. Pulled it out from under the truck and weighed it on the bathroom scale...the scale broke at 250 lbs. Never did find out what it weighed and the wife was PO'ed because I broke the scale. I got help to put it back in.

2. Shoulda known better--I was restoring a '68 Camaro and had the running gear, engine and A-frames out; the body was on jack stands. I was underneath unbolting the subframe and gave a bold a mighty yank...noticed something out of the corner of my eye, looked up, and the car body was moving, that is, falling off the jack stands (did I mention that the jack stands were on gravel?). Did not have time to get out from under, I grabbed the car body and pushed it back up through sheer brute force (adrenaline!). I held it there for 10 minutes until my sweet wife finally heard me yelling and came out and put a jack under the car. I guess she really did like me.


3. No excuse, really--Last year I was working on an old Scout II and needed to drop the rear axle for something (don't remember what). The spring drop was not enough so I decided to unbolt the U-bolts and drop the axle. They all came apart just fine except for one bolt...I tried everything I had and it just would not come off, so I fired up the air compressor and cut it off. 30 minutes later I finished whatever I was doing and went to bolt the axle up again...but.....wait.....Oh S***. I had to take a day off work to go get new U-bolts made.

So, I guess I'm getting smarter, Number 3 was not life threatening.

[DaveE]

I have a BMW 2002 that I race in SCCA, ITB. I had built a new engine for it in the off-season and left the oil drain plug loose during assembly(I forget now why but had a good reason at the time. You can see where this is going). First qualifying session at the first race at Summit Point that season I spun off the track around turn 8 and when I got going noticed others spinning in my mirror. As I made my way up the hill under the bridge the cabin filled with smoke so I ducked into the pits to see what was up. There was a trail of oil behind me of course. When I looked under the car I saw the last of the oil draining from the pan.

[tobluforu]

When installing banana arms, make sure you have the right one for the right year. Place them side by side before you install. Do not install banana arm, lift engine back up, tighten everything, install swaybar and then try and connect shock. Or you will be doing the whole process over again like I have.

[pa911]

A friend of mine had a muffler come loose once so he wired it up real good to his driveshaft! yup tore the whole exhaust off.

[atomicboy]

Bought a used '77 Triumph TR7 when I was 20. Let my dad take it for a spin and he comes home in a tow truck saying the engine died on him. I turn it over and find it just spins freely, no compression, no spark, etc. A friend of my dad's says he'll give me $1000 for it and I bite. He takes it home, pours 2 quarts oil in it and it runs fine. Turns out there was some sort of low oil cut out to prevent engine damage. Sure doesn't prevent ego damage!!

'68 911S
'77 911S (parts car)

[gatotom]

dumb things I have done....wow...I can't type that long.

A few funnies

In the early 70's when the freeways were first being built across the west, they didn't always pay attention to completely finishing them before opening them up.

Living in CO. going home to WI, about 1100 miles at about 95 mph ave....long night behind the wheel. You have to remember hardly anyone was on these roads at night and if you saw a headlight behind you they were far and few between. The days of no radar.

Anyway come early morning coming off the freeway ramp in IA don't even slow down, kinda asleep and I go straight off the ramp( no guardrails ) at 110, darn it, missed that corner......fly thru the air (64-356C) seemed like eternity cuz I instantly woke up, car landed hard but didn't crash.

Got out to check things out and noticed I was leaking brake fluid, thank my lucky stars, I always carried a tool box. Out comes the visegrips and I am on my way again, but something is still bad....a wappa wappa wappa sound coming from the back.

Too early in the day and I am too tired too really care, the car is moving, not much brake power left and I limp the car to home going real slow for the next 150 miles, took forever.

Get home and the next day or two I check the damage, fix the brake line and can only figure I bent a real axle. Call the dealer up and order a axle....week later the dealer calls and tells me it is in. Something tells me to have my neighbor check me out driving the car down the alley.

Turns out I sprung a wheel....cheap fix.

Or the time when I was driving a VW van.....first valve set, kinda made them too tight......few weeks later I was pulling the engine out to rebuild the blowen #3 cylinder, but they didn't clank.

[75Carrera]

Several years ago I stopped to visit friends in Colorado Springs. Parking for my 930 was less than desirable and resulted in a flat tire. I discovered the punctured left rear as I was attempting to get of to an early start the next day. At 4:30AM I was pretty sure I wouldn't find the tire available if I didn't fix it myself.
I jacked her up, removed the wheel and found the small nail hole. I always carried stopleak so I pumped it in, put the whell back on, loaded my gear and took off as quickly as possible to circulate the stopleak.
In a light mist at about 5AM I was ripping just south of Pueblo when the wheel began to drift, setting me in motion (round and round). The tire shreaded almost off the rim and the rim dug in and ground the car to the steaming halt but still on the roadway.
After a few minutes catching my breath I saw a Colorado State Trooper pulling in behind me.
As he inquired about my well being he asked just how fast I was going? "Not too fast, officer, Ireplied, it's raining."
He got out his little wheeled measuring gadget and took off down the wet highway following the graceful pattern of my spinning skid. When he got back he wrote me for "speed too fast for conditions" and estimated me at 90+.
I got down to pull the destroyed wheel only to find No remaining lug nuts! In my haste I apparently didn't go back and cinch the nuts before I took off. Major Dumb! And it really cost me too!

[Meka]

When I painted my Carrera I cut all the wires to my side view mirrors. Upon reassembly I soldered all the wires and shrink taped. About 10 wires per mirror. After I reconnected all the wires I realized I did not run the wires though the rubber gasket between mirror base and door. So what I did was cut the gasket on the out side edge to allow the wires to fit. I then tried to fix the cut with black contact cement.

[Sweendk]

Ohhh...makes me sick to think about it..

Working part time in an unnamed Porsche shop while in school....an SC on the charger...shop owner standing there with a customer. I hop in, hit the key to test it, left foot on the garage floor... Argh, the car's in gear, starts and takes off for a lift with a car on it, dragging the charger along. I'm frozen in disbelief! That mechanic calmly stepped away from the lift (I suppose to get a better view of me knocking the 911 off his lift). Fortunately, the shop owner started yelling 'brakes, brakes", and I came to, stopping the car with my right foot, killing the engine... one 911 under another, just short of the lift!

This obviously explains why I don't turn wrenches for a living any more!!

Kirk (keep this to yourselves..really!)

[djmcmath]

I'll add my latest adventure to the list. I'm overhauling a '70 VW Bug, which has a lot of similarities to an early 911. I pulled the transmission out to make sure everything was good internally, but forgot to put the shift-rod back in when I closed it up. I knew something didn't look right. I didn't realize I had forgotten it, of course, until I went to put the linkage back together, after having install the trans, half-shafts, reverse light, ground strap, etc. (sigh) Ouch.

[Purkinjefibre]

If any of you want to test out how strong the fuel line connections are in the engine compartment for CIS, you can do what i did...

While connecting up the fuel lines that run underneath from the back of the car to the tank, connect them the wrong way around. Then switch on the fuel pump. It will get kind of splashy very quickly. It's like the classic New York City fire hydrant in the summer, except it's gas...

Oh yeah, if you a gambler you can leave of the rear fuse box cover too.

[exhaustfumes]

With 30 years of mucking around in the garage, i have a few good ones:

Jeepster 1, Joe 0
I was removing a front leaf spring on my 70 Jeepster Commando, one of those jeeps with the long frame horns, putting the front leaf hanger right at the leading edge of the jeep. I had a HD sears floor jack and jackstands in place. somehow i ended up using the floor jack to lift the jeep slightly higher, thinking "heck, i am sitting in front of the jeep, if it slips the jackstand will catch it, and i am not underneath". and then i had my left hand between the spring hanger and spring, and the jack slipped out from under the jeep, pinning my finger. i guess the jackstand kept some of the weight off my finger, but man it hurt!!!

i was stuck!! like a fox in a "bear claw" type trap, i was pinned. the jeep was backed into my garage in a condo complex, but it was midday on a weekday, and the place is a ghost town. i layed on the garage floor and screamed for help, no luck. i tried to reach the jack handle, but i couldn't turn it to lower it with just one hand. scream some more. finger is really throbbing. spotted a pair of channel locks, used them to turn jack handle and managed to reposition jack and pump with one hand while lying at a funky angle. as soon as my finger was free, i ran upstairs and iced it for 30 minutes. to this day it won't go 100% straight.

BMW 1, Joe 0, Girlfriend 1
Installing a cylinder head on a BMW2002, my girlfriend was screaming at me to hurry up, we gotta' go somewhere. The 2002 was an overhead cam motor, first time i had ever worked on an OHC engine. I started torquing down head bolts, and suddenly a rocker arm went flying past my head. i forgot to line everything up to TDC, and a valve hit the piston, bending valve and breaking rocker arm!! had to remove head and replace valve, seat it, etc..


there are a fewPorsche ones, all involving my wife:

i go into garage at night, and notice two nice divits on the cowl of the 911, just behind the hood. ask wife "what the heck happened to the car???". blank look. finally she recalls the hood flew up while she was driving that morning....she forgot to latch it, not even the safety latch. something like that would have kept me shaking for 48 hours.

another night she forgot to latch down the targa top. 45 MPH frisbee. first trailing car missed it, next one creamed it. found a used one in florida for $200, and i happened to be going to same town in FL for work. guy met me at my hotel, and i carried the folded targa roof on the plane as carry-on luggage.

i am sure i can think of a few more.

[djmcmath]

Ok, I'll add another one. Seems like, as often as I post in this thread, it's amazing I ever get _anything_ done right.

So I'm putting the engine back in the VW last night, right? Mysteriously, she'll crank, but I'm not getting fuel into the fuel pump. I assume that the small mechanical fuel pump isn't quite big enough to haul gas from the tank all the way back through 12 feet of shiny new fuel line. Solution? "Prime" the system by sucking on it. After only a few minutes of doing my best porn-star impression on a rubber hose, my tongue and cheeks are starting to cramp up. There's got to be a better way! So I start considering a gravity feed -- if I pull the gas tank out and raise it up 4 feet, then it should just drain back, right? Well, when I go to pull the tank out, I discover the vice grips that I left on the hose to clamp off the fuel line when I removed the tank. Ouch, that hurts.