admit to your stupidity

[Geronimo '74]

drove of with lug nuts of my rear wheel handtight.... took a while before I realized...

Twice...

[hcoles]

easy to forget about the bleed tube....don't worry many of us have done that...
I now just use Power Bleeder but don't put fluid in the Power Bleeder canister.. makes too much of a mess, so I just use the PB as air pressure to push the fluid to the corners, seems to work fine.

[Hugh R]

In reading the "I'm a dick head" thread, I thought I'd revive this older thread. It's a hilarious read.

[schumicat]

I have several.
1. 911 - first time I jacked up car I had just bought w/ floor jack, squished oil line to oil cooler.
2. 911 - installed new cap and rotor, didn't secure cap properly, rotor scratched the crap out of new cap which had to be replaced.
3. Mercedes C230 - in fading light, installed one new brake pad backwards (backing plate to rotor). Made bad noise and scratched brand new Merc cross-drilled rotor. Flipped around, brakes work great but still have noise when coming to stop.
4. MR2 track car - wet/dry conditions, didn't check lugs between sessions, had wheel come off on front straight and roll by me (fortunately I felt vibration as lugs came off and had slowed down).
5. BMW M3 - cross threaded bolt holding down front seat, broke off stud trying to force it. Had to pay shop to extract stud and install new one through floorpan.
6. can't remember car, trying to see oil leak, oil drop went directly into my eye. Was like those alien dudes in X-Files.

[midnight911]

I lifted...

I managed to save up my paid vacation this year so I got my boss give me two week vacation starting last weekend. Last Friday was my last day at work. Get off work early, headed out to a local joint...with wide smile on my face.

tight right turn on to the freeway on-ramp, diving in hot, steer, car rotates, then gas...but for some reason I hesitate and before i knew it, i was sliding down the grass bank straight to a wheat farm but with a wired fence.
Yes, I'm calling my insurance a finance program to re-do the paint on my car. Great Christmas present for self, eh?


Lesson: DON'T LIFT...

[Noah930]

I had opened the front trunk, and set it back down on the striker plate but forgotten to click it back down before I started driving. As soon as I turned onto the road and started to get above a walking pace, air pressure popped open the front hood and I was driving with my head out the window.

[bsimonson]

When I was in the military we did some service on the APC tracks, changing pads mostly, and thus had the tracks standing on their side. When attempting to get them back down (they weigh about 500 kg) I used a one meter pipe for leverage.

Two other guys worked on each end with me in the middle but unfortunately they managed to tip it before I was ready, resulting in the pipe flipping up and hitting me on my right jaw.

I woke up about 30 minutes later in the ambulance. The tomography showed the brain was ok but a couple of my teeth were broken and I got a few sticthes. Couldn't read for almost a week without getting a serious headache though.

In retrospect, this was ten years ago, I think I got away in pretty good shape considering the forces involved...

Here is a vid of a similar APC, they are great fun but loooooots of maintenance.

YouTube - PBV 302 through the mudd

/b

[UrQuattro]

Heheh... I was reading the first few pages, Laughing my butt off and trying to think of a story worthy of this thread, because, I mean, y'all are a bunch of idiots. But I digress...

So this was back about a year before I got my UrQ, '97. I had a pretty cherry 4000 quattro that I had upgraded the suspension on to height adjustable coilovers and such, but I was lagging on a couple areas of maintenance.

So my best friend at the time, in his 90quattro, and me in the 4kq headed off exploring a new road by a jobsite that he was working on as an intern as a civil engineer.

Anyway, we get to the end of the road, it hit some freeway, and we headed up the slab to find some gas. After a few minutes, we found a station, pulled in and filled up.

Then I noticed that there was a dirt hill about 15 feet tall and at about 30 or 40 degrees or so at one side of the parking lot.

I thought since both of us were in quattros, that it would be an awesome thing to drive our cars up this insane grade, park em next to each other, and take pictures.

Amazingly, both cars made it fully up and on to the hill and we took some pics. It was absolutely hilarious. The people working in the gas station were just standing at the window with their jaws slack and pointing every once in a while.

Well, it was time to come back down and head out. My friend made it fine, but I didn't. Ya see, I knew my rear brake pads were really worn down. And I mean almost to the metal. But on that car, a set of rear pad does almost nothing, so I wasn't worried about it. But I was thinking in terms of driving in normal situations, not backing down a nearly 45 degree dirt incline. Apparently the engineers at girling didn't take my current (at thhe time) situation in to account when they designed the rear brake callipers because as soon as I released the parking brake and started backing down, in between quick applications of the brakes I hears this weird "clink, clink" sound as if something had fallen off the car. Plus, now, as soon as I TOUCHED the brakes, they would lock up. It made no sense to me! So, I put it in gear and used the engine ad the brake and got myself off the hill (at MUCH distress to my clutch).

Once I was down, I went into diagnostic mode trying to figure out what happened. Then my friend noticed a couple little pieces of metal on the hill. They ended up being the brake pads from my right rear wheel. Apparently, girling didn't think that anyone would be DUMB enough to these two things at the same time: 1. Drive up the hill I just did. 2. Have such worn down rear brake pads that they could slip between the carrier and mounting bracket an fall out when subjected to nearly 45 degree inclines.

So, there we are, in the middle of nowhere, one car working fine, and another who's brake pads had jump out of their car for their own safety, figuring that they hadn't asked to be put in that situation, they disnt want to have to deal with that situation, and dammit they were getting the hell out of there even if it meant leaving their comrades stationed at the other three corners of the car to fend for themselves.

Hooray for me. I was freaking out, but my friend, also Michael, was just about literally rolling on the floor laughing about having worn out my brake pads so much that they could FALL OUT OF THE CALLIPER!! I don't want to talk about the people who worked in the gas station.

Once he got himself together, and I had removed m toolbox from the trunk, I had remembered that i ha been carrying an extra set of rear brake pads in my trunk just in case. I know, in case of what? Apparently in case my old ones fell out of the car.

Well, we started jacking the car up, but since I couldn't put the parking brake on, it was really iffy. We were able to get the wheel off, and placed under the car just in time for the car to start tipping off the jack and landing on the wheel.

See, even though we blocked the other wheels from turning by wedging rocks in them, what we didn't notice was the fact that the whole parking lot was covered in a fine layer of dust, and it was far enough away from level that when jacked up, the weight of the car would just cause the tires to SLIDE and let the car fall off the jack.

Did I mention we were in the middle of nowhere and it was dark by this point?

So, since the wheel was off, at least I was able to do the work on the calliper an install the good pads in to it while the car sat on the wheel.

But then came time to jack the car back up and out the wheel on. But anytime it went up, it would come right back down. So, mike decoded to go to the opposite side and hold the car against gravity while I was responsible for very quickly getting the wheel on and getting at least a couple lug bolts started.

Needless to say, eventually we got it back together and
got home late that night. I never did live that one down.

Also in '98 and this time being part of a special Audi contingent who had special parking at devils playground at the Pikes Peak Hillclimb (I think that's the name of Whatever the highest point spectators are allowed to be at.) and how on the long, slow, bumpy journey, in the same 4000 quattro, the bolt that acts as the pivot for the alternator came loose and worked it's way out or it's pivot point such that I was basically stranded at 14,000 feet with no alternator mounting/pivot bolt, and how I came up with the solution of using the 1/4" extension from that same toolkit as a replacement for the bolt - secured by safety wire.

That fix not only got me down the hill, bit through a day at Pueblo Motorsports park where the Audi contingent had it all to ourselves for free, AND it got me all the way home to the sf bay area too. Ahhh, MacGuyver'ing. There's nothing quite like it.

Sincerely,
Moron

[gsmith660]

Originally Posted by Geronimo '74

drove of with lug nuts of my rear wheel handtight.... took a while before I realized...

Twice...

I did that too didn't torque after I fit new wheels.

[Brando]

This was on my old 914...

When auto-crossing the car, I had installed solid engine & trans mounts. After I had decided to no longer "track the car" and focus on making it more for fun runs, switched in a set of "sport" 911 engine mounts for the trans. A quick 6 bolts and the swap was done.

A day later in the evening, I was driving through a winding residential area. I was coming up to a hard right turn. Of course, since this was in my 914 I'm pretty sure I took every turn with the throttle on the floor (it was a peppy 1.8). So I plunge the throttle and start the turn. I hear a *thunk* *BANG* *scraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaape*. Nice trail of sparks in the rear-view mirror. I pull over and park it.

Sure 'nuff, forgot those little ear pieces and washers that above and below the mounts. Tore the rubber in the mounts right out. Never forgot them ever since!

[NeunElf3.2]

1) Mixed up plug wires on the 914... only drove out of the garage before deciding that I wasn't the great Porsche mechanic I thought...
2) Didn't tighten the lug studs past finger tight. Stopped before the wheel came off.
3) passed on a Lotus 18 FJ for <$2000 (w/trailer) in '81.
4) passed on a 250 Lusso that needed "paint and some TLC" in '81 for $20,000.
5) Mixed up the bulkhead connectors on the 911- car wouldn't start with the ignition switch/key, but trying the wiper stalk did...

[kimlangley7]

I was in a hurry to make a parachute jump.. UH-1 chopper was inbound.... I "trash-packed".. just stuffed the canopy in the bag - figuring it shoud come out and I'll make the load....


I did make the load > attempted 18 way ... funneled around #10 or so....

It/canopy came out alright >> totally FUBAR >> and I experienced my first malfunction..

I ahve also performed an oil change and not replaced the drain plug....

[phatduc]

1) Freshman year at college done and the magic bus, a '80 VW Vanagon, finally packed in what compression it had left getting me home. Spent the summer rebuilding motor with new heads, fat pistons/barrels, free flow exhaust, etc. etc. Destroy it within 50 miles, turns out I had set distributor timing to 11 degrees BTDC instead of ATDC like the new pistons called for. Stupid!

2) Junior year. Dad dies and leaves a 914 for me in unc's driveway on the opposite coast. Decide to drive it back home cross country sight unseen and it turns out to be a serious POS through to the bone. Stupid move. 3500 miles haunted by the specter of being stranded in in BFE. Half way across TX, decide an oil change is required to alleviate the heinous engine noises that are reminiscent of the bus right before it blew up. Now I'm in BFE and next station is 50 miles up the road, station attendant says park on the other side of the dirt road and "drain it out on the ground" So I pay the "mechanic" at the gas station $40 labor to change my oil thinking it will be properly disposed of, only to watch as he walks his drain pan across the dirt road and pours my used oil out onto the ground! wtf!??!! Engine noise same, $40 poorer, BFE ground water more poluted... stupid.

3) Senior year, changed a flat on the way home and did the "drop it on the ground to tighten lug nuts only forgot that last step" thing. Wheel violently shakes itself loose on the freeway, passes me in the left lane as the bus drops onto a brake drum. Stupid.

[flat6pilot]

I was in my 72 Opel GT having just dropped off my boss from a ride in the car. I was nearing home and doing about 65-70mph on the highway. I feel the back end get squirrelly and begin to slow down. It quickly gets worse and I feel like a fighter pilot bringing his wounded bird back on the ground. I weave through 2 lanes of traffic to the shoulder and slow to a stop. During the last 30 feet I see all 4 of my lug nuts pass by me. I get out and realize the wheel drum is now resting on the inside of the wheel rim. I shudder to think what would have happened if I lost that back wheel in the middle of heavy traffic.

I felt like an idiot.

But this thread makes me feel much better. I think my therapy sessions can be canceled now.

[dshepp806]

Originally Posted by Bill Verburg

stupidest thing I ever did was invest heavily in stocks for the last 40yrs

+1,..gotta be the worst ever,..lost much arse.


Doyle

[OldTee]

Originally Posted by flat6pilot

But this thread makes me feel much better. I think my therapy sessions can be canceled now.

I had just installed the engine on my 78SC. It ran well. Went for a short drive without incident. Next day left on an errand and after backing down the drive way and putting the car in 1st heard some noise and the car wouldn't go. Got out to find the engine on the ground. I had forgotten to put the large washers on top of the motor mounts. Found them on my work bench, jacked up the engine, replaced them and pulled the car back into the garage, spitting fuel from the broken rubber fuel line. Dumb is as dumb does.

[g3ngs]

1
Wheel spacers are wrong - many moons ago I had a Wizard Roadster (looks like a Hebmueller) all fibreglassy and lovely, super flared wings, because its only a Beetle underneath, so it requires spacers. Nice sunny day and all ready to go to Santa Pod to abuse it on the 1/4 mile. Thinks to self I really need to go and buy so and so tape (that many moons) ago. Waiting for the shop to open sitting outside whiling the time away, shop opens, buy tape, hop back into the car pull away...... one of the rear spacers gives up, go about 10 feet then the wheel falls off...

By my calculations had I not hung around waiting to buy the tape I would have been on the M1 to Santa Pod, warming the car up.... by driving it with the needle of the end of the dial (love those 90 mpg gauges)

2
Unclezak - bought a "nice" 1971 T from him with a "fresh" engine, and "new" brakes, and "clean" interior.... imported it to the UK.... what I actually got was 1971 T with the new floor I had asked to be put in, a toasted engine, new brakes, that were in but not attached to the car and an interior that you couldn't even ebay..... but it was all OK because he told me that he felt "really bad" about it and wanted to make it up to me...... sadly his version of making it up to me was sodding off the face of the planet

3
Capping fuel lines - on another Beetle it turns out if you cap the fuel line with a twig, and don't disconnect the battery they can actually catch fire..... who would have thought. The joy of having a fire extinguisher to hand was only spoiled slightly by cleaning up powder from every part of the engine

4
Torque wrenches are a good idea - the correct way of attaching the flywheel to a Beetle is with a torque wrench , not a socket with a scaffolding bar on the end of it and tightening the living hell out of it so when you spin the engine up bad things happen inside the bell housing

5
Get some tools - same sodding Beetle, removed the engine with the following tools, 1 x Trolley Jack, Random Bricks and wood, 1 x Leg from Pool Table. The correct procedure here is to jack up the car with your mickey mouse super low lift trolley jack with the leg of pool table balanced on top, prop car up with random stuff you find in the garden, remove and lower engine on crap jack. Wheel engine away, realise you don't have the means to remove the engine from the jack as you need said jack, proceed to pick up engine of jack with all ancillaries still attached damn near crapping myself through the effort of it. Manage it, exhausted I flop on to car which promptly falls of the the garden waste that is holding it up

6
Don't over tighten wheel nuts - due to some sort of mental block I tighten the living hell out of each front wheel's bolt of my son's cadet kart. In principle from all the I didn't tighten the wheel nut stories this is a tip top idea on a car. On the from wheels of a go kart its a bad idea as you compress the sides of the wheel bearings and prevent them from doing their job. Eventually they explode, and the wheel leaves the go kart rapidly. Which his did. Bless his six year old cotton socks, when it happened he was totally unfazed by it, controlled the kart and returned to the pits. When he is older I will give him the full explanation of why and how it happened

7
Be careful when you move things - Motorbike was blocking in trailer for above kart, lots of snow on the ground, wheeling it back, my back comes up against the Santa stop here sign in the garden, not wanting to disturb it (heaven forbid!) I arch my back, as I do this I slip, the bike falls out of my hands and crashes through the mud guard of the trailer. Only pride and mud guard damaged, bike OK and Santa sign in tact

8
Diesel versus Unleaded - A few years ago bought nice new Volvo XC90, diesel, its 22 of December, no one's buying cars at this time, I've gone up North, and I've done a good deal. I promptly fill it up with unleaded, why - who knows - my last three cars were all diesel. Its now late, the RAC can't do anything, a local mechanic can't do anything - damn those anti tamper, plastic tanks with no drain plugs, concealed either side of the prop shaft. The towel has been thrown in, a flat bed has arrived to take me the 400 miles home...... but half a mo' a chap with a Range Rover at the opposite pump enquires what the problem is, I explain, he says aha in a cunning plan kind of way and in a jiffy, he and the tow truck have my car on the flatbed half on half off, they've located the fuel pump, loosened the bottom nut of it and by turning the ignition slightly on the fuel pump cycles and a thimble of unleaded drains out. Over the next three hours, 80 litres of premium unleaded falls on to the flatbed. Arrive home at 8am the next morning.

I think that's more than enough for now....

Oh and when you over pressurise your waxoyl container sometimes it can explode all over you..... I've found its a pig to wash off

[jlcinga]

First Porsche was in 1966, a 1960 356B. Installed a brand new cutting edge four track (yes 4) player...who needs a stupid fuse? When I turned it on, the hot wire started to smoke...I was just going to pull it loose with my finger. Finger just slid down the wire, gathering melted plastic as it went.

In 1970 I got my next 356B and decided to put a 140 HP Corvair Spyder engine in it....ran great until I blew it up....they did leak oil. Sold the entire set up, including old engine for $100.

In 1968, sold my 1962 Honduras Maroon Corvette for $1300.

In 1968, did not buy a 1956 Gull Wing Coupe for $6000.

[turbochad]

Three days ago at the track I went to make a 4/5 shift at 6 grand and went into 3rd gear instead. I bent four valves. The car is being torn down right now while I'm on vacation with my family. I'm sick about it. Really easy but dumb mistake.

[Doug&Julie]

Bought a high mileage 964 C4.

Without a PPI.

Do I win?