admit to your stupidity

[ArcticOne]

On my Triumph I was having issues with getting a smooth idle and decent fuel flow. Took carbs and distributor apart to see if anything was wrong.

Reassembled all and could not get car to start. It cranked awesome but would not fire.

Had a friend come over and we spent 3 hours trying to diagnose the problem. Removed the carbs twice to check. Could find nothing - but car cranked and cranked and cranked. Gave up for the evening with a heavy sigh and also the realization that a trip to the mechanic was in order.

Next morning attempted to see what was wrong. Still no luck. Decided to organize my various spare parts simply for something to do. That's when I discovered that instead of one spare rotor I had two spares ...... DOH!!!!

Oh, we had looked at the open distributor at least 10 or 20 times the night before.

jb

[verdeboyo]

Being a little bored one morning, and thinking what else can I do to my car, I decided I wasn't happy with the extinguisher being mounted out of view, under the passenger's seat. I then got out my cordless drill and proceeded to drill 2 holes on the side of the tunnel. All was going well on this 'meant to be' 15 minute job - until I could smell petrol, fuel, benzine, gas!! merde!! Instant fire hazard!!

Fuel was dripping, from a quarter full tank. I chucked out the drill, disconnected the battery. What a fool I hear you all say. What would have cost me £0 to do ended up costing me £100, plus my poor brother had to do the work - he is a BMW and porsche tech. I won't repeat on here what he called his big brother.

[AirKuhl]

Driver door manual window was a bit too hard to roll down smoothly, so I pulled off the door panel and lubed the regulator and window tracks.

Anticipated cost: $0 and 15 minutes easy labor.

To test if it helped, I put a vise grip on the shaft where the window crank handle attaches, so I could roll it up and down a few times.

Put everything back together and realized that the window crank handle doesn't fit. Turns out the window regulator crank shaft is hollow and very soft. The vise grip bent it into an oval, cracked it and stripped some of the teeth.

You can't just replace the shaft. You need to replace the ENTIRE window regulator.

Actual cost: ~$300 and nearly a full day of fidgety, irritating work to replace.

[xReddogx]

Upon recently having the car tuned up, I discovered I had quite a nasty oil leak. Therefore, attempting to keep the oil level at an appropriate level whilst driving it to the garage....I checked the oil to find it a bit low. I placed the dipstick on the back bumper and proceeded to add a quart.

Apparently, I then thought it would be a great idea to put the oil filler cap back on, close the boot lid, and drive to the shop....

...with the dipstick still sitting on the back bumper. DOH!

[Bob Kontak]

Cleaned out my tool box and found a 'stupid" spark plug wrench with a spring on it. It looked so clean I thought it was a new-ish unneeded tool. Threw it away.

[Hugh R]

Wanted to put a stereo power amp in the DB4 in college in about 1977, got under the dash and drilled two holes to mount it on the fire wall. Sounded great with the ignition off, until I started it and antifreeze rushed out of the floor heater vents. Stupid place to put the welded in place heat exchanger, behind the dash; just under the dash vents. Ran a couple of gooped up screws with permatex into the holes and it quit leaking and left it that way for 33 years.

[Arizona 911]

Not Porsche related but still a bonehead move. I had a Jeep Comanche pickup truck and the upper radiator hose blew. I bought a new hose and upon trying to remove the old hose, broke the inlet to the radiator off. I didn't know the damn thing was plastic so instead of a simple hose replacement, I had to buy a new radiator also.

[Gogar]

I had my '72 on jackstands at the t-bar covers,

and was feeling lazy.

I wanted to replace my leaky paper lower valve cover gaskets with some Silicone ones, without draining the oil.

So, I lowered the car on one side to change the 'high side.' No problem!

Jacked back up, lowered the other side,

and the car slipped off the jackstand, and

slammed the jackstand into my freshly repainted 1972 oil tank,

making a 3" ding right by the drain plug.

[Barrpete]

The passenger side pwr window switch was kaput, so armed with a new one from our host, and anticipating a 5 minute fix, I popped the old one out of the door. Then proceeded to swap one wire at time on the numbered terminals & popped it back in the door. Move the switch down and ... nothing. Moved it up and the window rolls down, moved it down and the window rolls up, wtf??? OK, back into the house to dig out the Bentley thinking the PO must have screwed something up once upon a time. Pull out the switch again and check the wires vs. the Bentley diagram. Hmm, everything appears to be correct. Put it back in and try again - operation is still reversed. How can this be??!!! Doh! Finally the light bulb comes on - the switch is in upside down. Oh well at least I didn't break anything.

[Roby466]

Almost Porsche related.... it was aircooled.
First: After re-installing the engine in a 75 Beetle and installing the wheels on the car, I asked my "never owned a car with more than 50k km on it" helper if he had tightened the wheel lug nuts, "yep" he said. Lowered the car from the lift and drove back home... going up-hill I felt something very wrong in the back and then... massive knock and the car stopped right there. Looked in the rear view mirror to see my rear left wheel rolling back down the hill through traffic...
Second: Still the same car, now the floors are rotten so I am selling it for parts, mainly the motor which was in "perfect" condition. It was out of the car and I wanted to put it back in to show the potential buyer that it worked perfectly. Did the job late at night as fast as my buddy and I could and plugged the coil backwards... fried the coil and accumulator on distributor... not so great to show that the engine works perfectly when it won't even start...

[ard]

Originally Posted by turbochad

Three days ago at the track I went to make a 4/5 shift at 6 grand and went into 3rd gear instead. I bent four valves. The car is being torn down right now while I'm on vacation with my family. I'm sick about it. Really easy but dumb mistake.

Ouch, sorry to hear that - the "money shift" is always on my mind, too.

I recently ran across some pretty useful "shifting" instructions from UUC, maker of various short shift kits (UUC Motorwerks • short shifting techniques), which are intended to prevent the money shift.

I have been practicing, and at first it seems a bit awkward, but the logic of switching hand positions makes a lot of sense in avoiding the wrong gear. When you "backhand" the shifter in gears 3 - 5, it is pretty difficult to accidentally go 4->3 instead of 4->5.

I don't have sufficient practice with this technique to say that it works well "under pressure" like at the track, just FYI.

HTH

[ntmatter]

Originally Posted by ard

Ouch, sorry to hear that - the "money shift" is always on my mind, too.

I recently ran across some pretty useful "shifting" instructions from UUC, maker of various short shift kits (UUC Motorwerks • short shifting techniques), which are intended to prevent the money shift.

I have been practicing, and at first it seems a bit awkward, but the logic of switching hand positions makes a lot of sense in avoiding the wrong gear. When you "backhand" the shifter in gears 3 - 5, it is pretty difficult to accidentally go 4->3 instead of 4->5.

I don't have sufficient practice with this technique to say that it works well "under pressure" like at the track, just FYI.

HTH

This is actually good advice - there's nothing quite like snap-rolling your car in the middle of the front strait by putting the car in 2nd rather than 4th at 75MPH. When going from "top" to "bottom", rotate the wrist counter-clockwise to what in my youth we called the "French Grip". This puts some "away" pressure on the stick naturally, and you won't accidentally pull it into 2nd and grenade the motor.

[Alan Lindquist]

1968 VW Karman Ghia - filled the car with several quarts of oil without the drain plug inserted.
1968 Mercury Cougar - Was working on dwell and bleeding brakes. Got the dwell perfect. Dad came to the garage and asked how things were going with the "misfires." Was very impressed with how I got the ignition dialed in, so took him for a ride up and down the street with the brake line disconnected from the proportioning valve. Thank God for E-brakes.
1980 Porsche SC - Didn't realize that the clutch fork pulls instead of pushes. Lines it up wrong. Motor and tranny in and out and then got it right.

We don't learn from doing things right. We learn from making mistakes. Hopefully our mistakes aren't expensive.

[j911brick]

After spending the past couple days reading all the posts I must say:"YOU GUYS ARE MORONS!". Just kidding. You work on enough cars long enough and your bound to make mistakes. In fact I done almost everything described previously in the thread and then some. But at least i have never required a hospital visit (knock on wood). The truth is I have learned over the years that everybody makes mistakes. Most the time it doesn't amount to much or result in injury or death, but that doesn't mean its any less significant. The fact that nobody was hurt is often more a matter of luck/chance than anything and it could have happened the other way just as easy.

In 1972 a stray wheel/tire center punched the windshield of my mother's car sending her to the hospital for a few days.

In 1992 I was traveling on the interstate when a dual wheel assembly came off a 18-wheeler and was headed toward me at 65mph. It came across the freeway at a 45 degree angle, hit a guard rail, and bounced about 50ft in the air. While we were all trying to predict where it was going to land, and steer to avoid it, a Toyota wagon pulled into my path and cut me off. The wheels center punched his grill and brought his car to an immediate halt. The 50lb bag of cement he had in the back kept going at 65mph and hit the driver on the back of the head. Another split second and that wheel assembly might have landed in his lap, or if he had not cut me off I might have hit it. I was shaking for three days after that.

A few years ago I was at the races and pitted in the garages. My friend and competitor was pitted directly across from me. He needed to borrow a banjo bolt to fix his fuel pump and since I carry allot of spares I gave him one. So while he had the front of his car jacked up to replace the fitting, I was working in the engine compartment of my car, with my dually parked right behind me. My buddy finishes his car and calls somebody over to start the car so he can check for leaks. That person forgot to check if the car was in gear. Since it was cold it went immediately to high idle as it jumped off the jack stands. It raced across the garage and crashed into my car, pushing my car back and pinning me against my dually. For a moment I thought I was a goner. The race officials wanted to suspend this person but I talked then out of it. I also would not accept payment for damage to my car. Like I said: we all make mistakes, (even if we don't get caught).

One of my FUBAR moments;
Recently I caught fire to the engine in my 911...three times...in one day. Halon is your friend!

Does anybody remember the Cooper Cup awards?

[scott.k]

when removing the engine, i thought that the fitting of the fuel return line was actually part of the rubber line connected to it so i "unscrewed" it the wrong way which twisted and then snapped the aluminum return line. Please dont ask how I thought that the end fitting was part of the rubber line.

[Neel]

Getting involved in oil discussion threads..

[Gordo2]

Thought of this thread tonight... and brought it back to life.

I've been working on my stereo install Gordo's Stereo Install

After 2 days of cleaning up a mess of under-dash wires and running new stuff, I finally wrapped things up and decided to go for a quick, late evening test drive.

I made it about 1/4 mile down the street and my car died !!!

Freaked a bit, wondering what I could have jack up with the wiring (first impulse - turn the stereo OFF and try to start it again ). I quickly gave up, ran home and had my wife jump in the truck to tow my car back home.

Once I pushed it into the garage, I realized I never reinstalled the fuel pump relay (I pulled it so it didn't run while I was checking out the stereo - I know it shouldn't, but it does).

I have PMO carbs - it appears you can make a slow 1/4 mile pass with the gas remaining in the fuel bowls...

Relay's re-installed. Fuel pump works. Car and stereo are just fine. Nothing to see here

Gordo

[schnelltarga]

1. Easter morning years ago, I had just finished restoration of 1970 MG Midget. I am going to debut the car at the annual Easter Concours show - when I try to start it, no fuel. i hear the fuel pump running, but not pumping or so I thought. I jack up rear wheel, crawl under, pull the line and fuel spills out in my ear. I run into the house, saying I have gasoline in my ear. I head to the kitchen sink, and start using the sprayer to flush my ear. My oldest daugher is home from college on Easter break, and unbeknownst to me, she calls 911. I can't hear much with the water in my ears unitl i notice the paramedics in the kitchen. By then, I had finished flushing my ear and my hearing was starting to return. I tell them I am ok, and my wife gives them most of the candy from my Easter basket before they leave. I get the pump to work, drive to the show and take 2nd place beating out a very pristine Aston Martin.
2. Later that summer, I take the dog and an empty LP gas tank to get the tank refilled. On the way home start to hear a hissing sound and begin to smell the LP gas. Knowing that I am driving a 40 year old British (Lucas) electrical short manufacturing machine, I pull over, shut the car off, and get the dog out. Once again, unbeknownst to me a passerby dials 911 and the fire department arrives. Luckily, I persuaded them not to hose the tank down in a car that had won 2nd in a Concours. They removed it, sprayed it while bleeding it off.

[911tracker85]

LOL...

well, I had done a clutch job on my 944 turbo. when pulling the bell housing you have to pull the rod for the clutch fork.

so dropped the engine/tranny from my 78 911. removed the bolts and tried to pull the tranny off. WSM and other info just says remove the bolts and pull it off.

so exchanged emails with an experienced 911 guy. asked if I had to pull the fork shift rod out to pull the tranny. nope he replied. so we started to think it was frozen to either the pilot bearing or clutch plate, car had been sitting for a couple years. sprayed lots of penetrating oil in there, still almost no movement. then TALKED to another friend. after a brief description of my dilemma, he said, "sorry to ask a stupid question but you did remove the clutch fork spring?"....

NOPE. removed it and the tranny almost fell into my lap.

when I had a chance to talk to that other friend, he said based on my question about removing the pivot shaft, he presumed I had already removed the spring...

different cars ... different issues.

friends sometime ask me how I learned all that I know about these cars. easy, make a bunch of stupid mistakes and do some things over a few times and you finally figure it out.

[Franks89-911]

Not a Porsche but a German car.

I was 18, a freshman in college and home on Thanksgiving break. My dad had bought me a used '84 Audi 4000S manual 5-speed (non-Quattro) which I was completely obsessed with. I decided it would be a great idea one night at 930pm in complete darkness to check the oil. She slipped out of gear (because I stupidly didn't put the parking brake on) and I watched helplessly as she rolled down the driveway and hit a tree.

I told my dad about it and asked when we could get it fixed, because, you know, Dad, college, and girls? He just laughed and walked away. I didn't have the money to fix it myself so I had to drive it that way for the next 4 years.