Ultimate Dumb Question Thread

[ShoqAndAwe]

And the punchline goes......

Hey Meester, I finished painting the porch, but that was no porch, that was a mercedes.

[gassy]

" Are you sure that hood will support both of us? "

[thabaer]

"That thing got a billet intake ?"

nah, I just made that up

[FrayAdjacent911]

Originally posted by jorian
"Ill" is the new "sick"
sick is no longer cool:/

Some of the younger guys on the Tiburon forums I get on use the term 'sick' for everything... it's not 'cool' any more, it's sick.

So I proposed the next step in that path... '$hitty'. $hitty will take over for 'sick' in the near future.

So you'll be cruising in your fine, shiny Porsche, and some dumb kid will say "DAMN!! That car is $HITTY!!" and you'll know to take it as a compliment.

[Dan in Pasadena]

From Super......Neat......Groovy......Cool.....Sick.... .Ill, now (Gulp) $hitty?

I think I'm going to be...well.....Ill(?)

P.S. I'm pretty sure I missed a few in there. Oh well, sucks to be old!

[Dan in Pasadena]

Noah, I assume the unspoken last line of your second story is "No ticket"?

[86 911]

Okay, this one kind of annoyed me. Asked by an employee at Big O Tires:

Employee: Dad's car?
Me: No... mine
Employee: Is that a Fatboy?
Me: No it's called a Widebody.
Employee: Same thing.

I get the "is that a BRAND NEW 2005 model???" all the time as well.

[glenndeweirdt]

What year is your Mitsubishi Eclipse?

[grobious911]

I was in the parking lot of a safeway with my 79 sc and this guy walks up and says;
him: wow an sc that thing must be a blast to drive sice its supercharged
me: oh its not supercharged sc stands for super carrera
him: oh well do you take it out to the street races ever?
me:?

[tony77targa]

"Ill" is in and "sick" is out? Oh crap Im feelling $hitty! Im still using "freakin" as an adjective... my alltime worst hated to hear was "thats ssswwweeeeeetttt"
OK back on track here for dumb questions
Them... thats a cute car ... what is it? ( looking at my 77 911)
me.... a 77 porsche 911
them... Oh .... I never heard of those before....
me,,(thinking they didnt understand me) its a PORSCHE .
them.... nope never heard of such a car
me... ( walking away shaking my head in disbelief)

[Dixie]

• "Those vintage VWs are so cool!"
• "Doesn't that have a VW motor in it?"
• "What kind of car is that?"
  followed by
• "Is that really a Porsche?"
  or
• "My Dad had one once. It would do 0 to 60 in 3 seconds. I'd open it up whenever I drove it. It'd cruise all day at 220mph. But I think it had 'Karmen Ghia', or something like that, on it."

[Wavey]

Approaching the 911 on a restaurant parking lot, I see a group of old ladies getting out of their Crown Vic.

1st old lady: What kind of car IS that?
2nd old lady, walking around the back: It's a..... Camera???
Me: It's a Carrera
1st old lady: What the Hell is that?
Me: It's a Porsche.
2nd old lady: Then why does it say "Camera" on the back?
Me: Just kidding, it's a Camero. Bye.

[sammyg2]

Here's one I get all the time when people first see my 25 year old 911 (that I bought for $8k):
Wow, did you hit the lottery or something?

The irony is they are usually driving a $45k SUV or something.

[Wavey]

I get similar stuff too, sammy. I explain that the price of this car was the same as a new Hundai. Of course I don't mention the price of the other new Hundai I've since spent on it.

[72doug2,2S]

"Vinyl? Porsche uses vinyl?" Well, yeah

Or, my father in law the first time he get's in my non-sunroof, disconected A/C, crank windows, 72 with sport muffler. "Ah Luxury cars"
My response, LOL "Luxury? This car is basically a street legal race car."

Cubicle mate "Porsh"
Me "It's really pronounced Porsche"
Cubicle mate "Tom Cruse called it a Porsh in 'Risky Business', so that's what its called in this country"

[RonDent]

Ex wife: That's funny, for that much money you would think it would ride nicer.

[jasonlee]

pulled over for speeding... 150km/h in a 110km zone
officer: why were you going so fast?
me: because I didn't see you.
officer: (laughing) funniest thing I have heard all day. I'll let you off with a warning

My lucky day

J
82 911 SC
92 325 i

[Driver Ed]

I was working under my car in my garage with the garage door open one beautiful fall weekend morning. I had just finished adjusting the valves and was starting to put the exhaust valve covers back on when two people walked up to the car. I was on my creeper under the car, but I could see two pairs of neatly pressed black pants from the knee down.

"Hello, sir." said one pair of pants.

I rolled my creeper out and verified my suspicion -- Jehovah's Witnesses.

Me: Hi guys. What can I do for you?
JH1: I see you're working on your car. How many miles have you got on it?
Me: Lots. What can I do for you?
JH1: Wouldn't it be great if would last forever?
Me: Sure. What do you want?
JH1: Well, what if we told you there was a way that you could assure yourself a place in heaven for all eternity?
Me: Well guys, I'm really not shopping around for a new religion right now, and I'm kind of busy.
JH2: You can't spare a few minutes to assure your place in eternity?
Me: Maybe some other time, but I'm kinda busy putting my car back together right now. [rolls creeper back under car]
JH1: We'd like to leave you a copy of an informative booklet to read when you have more time.
Me: Can one of you guys please hand me that 13mm socket ?
JH1: We'll just leave it right here on the bumper.
Me: Can you just hand me a 13mm socket?
JH2: It's on your bumper.
Me: The socket?
JH2: No, The Watchtower.
Me: [rolling out, finding and picking up the 13mm socket] Guys, THIS is a 13mm socket.
[long pause, blank quizzical stares all around]
Me: Ah. I can see you're as interested in mechanics as I am in religion. Happy hunting, dudes.

I finished putting on the lower valve covers and rolled out again and they were gone. And evidently they decided not to leave me a copy of The Watchtower after all, but alas, neither did they take my copy of the Bosch Automotive Handbook.

I remain concerned for their immortal souls.

Ed

[RonDent]

Not to worry. I got it from someone in the know that God drive a Porsche too. And he turns his own wrenches. Still having a little trouble getting the injectors set just right though.

[Joe78sc]

Originally posted by Driver Ed
I was working under my car in my garage with the garage door open one beautiful fall weekend morning. I had just finished adjusting the valves and was starting to put the exhaust valve covers back on when two people walked up to the car. I was on my creeper under the car, but I could see two pairs of neatly pressed black pants from the knee down.

"Hello, sir." said one pair of pants.

I rolled my creeper out and verified my suspicion -- Jehovah's Witnesses.

Me: Hi guys. What can I do for you?
JH1: I see you're working on your car. How many miles have you got on it?
Me: Lots. What can I do for you?
JH1: Wouldn't it be great if would last forever?
Me: Sure. What do you want?
JH1: Well, what if we told you there was a way that you could assure yourself a place in heaven for all eternity?
Me: Well guys, I'm really not shopping around for a new religion right now, and I'm kind of busy.
JH2: You can't spare a few minutes to assure your place in eternity?
Me: Maybe some other time, but I'm kinda busy putting my car back together right now. [rolls creeper back under car]
JH1: We'd like to leave you a copy of an informative booklet to read when you have more time.
Me: Can one of you guys please hand me that 13mm socket ?
JH1: We'll just leave it right here on the bumper.
Me: Can you just hand me a 13mm socket?
JH2: It's on your bumper.
Me: The socket?
JH2: No, The Watchtower.
Me: [rolling out, finding and picking up the 13mm socket] Guys, THIS is a 13mm socket.
[long pause, blank quizzical stares all around]
Me: Ah. I can see you're as interested in mechanics as I am in religion. Happy hunting, dudes.

I finished putting on the lower valve covers and rolled out again and they were gone. And evidently they decided not to leave me a copy of The Watchtower after all, but alas, neither did they take my copy of the Bosch Automotive Handbook.

I remain concerned for their immortal souls.

Ed

That is the funniest comment so far.. haha