Ultimate Dumb Question Thread

[86 911]

Yeah, that is pretty funny. I like to ask them (Jehova's Whitness) questions and listen to what they have to say if they come by. I've learned a lot about the religion so far. But I see what you mean by them being annoying! Sometimes they drive me nutz talking on and on!!!

[Dantilla]

I have been bewildered a couple times with this one in my garage.

Two Porsches. One is silver. Thats all, just silver. The other one has bright colors, a roll cage, and really big numbers on the doors.

"Which one do you race?"

[Por_sha911]

17 year old guy: Hey, how about letting me drive your car.
Me: I don't think so.
Kid: Its OK, I got my licence last month.
Me: That's great.
Kid: So can I drive your car?
Me: It ain't happening.
Kid: Why not?
Me: Because I like my car and want to keep it in one piece, OK!?
Kid: OK.

[Hoss3.0]

You gotta love this one..."Mind if I smoke, where is the ashtray?"
Responding with the brakes to the floor and opening the passenger door for them..."in your mouth if you dont put that thing out, enjoy the walk".

[randywebb]

Just tell 'em that you're a muslim and that Allah said to kill them.

[slater]

Working underneath the back of my car one day, I could see 2 young kids walking down the street outside my house on their way home from school. They stopped for a second, looked at my car and said
"Slug Bug!"
*punch*

I hit my head trying to get out from under there to educate these guys, but they were gone by the time I sat up.

[tony77targa]

I was hanging out on my deck one evening bbqing and this lady that lived next door was handing out after dinner snacks to the kids they all ran off and she hollers over to me ..." hey you want a blowpop!?"
I hollered back "Hell yea but dont call me pop" ...wow she had quite an arm on her ... thankfully she missed my 911 parked next to the deck..

Im plowing snow out of my driveway one morning so I can get my 911 out of the garage and notice my neighbor looking up across the street he's directs my attention to the second story window where I see my neighbor lady with a towel wraped around her and hair all wet shes leaning half way out the window desperatly trying to get my attention I pull out on the street and notice everyone on our street is clearing snow from around mailboxes and pathways... she hollers out to me in a desperate voice "Hey Tony can you plow me!?" I yelled back " yea sure and after that Ill even plow your driveway for ya!" I really didnt know you could actually slam a window closed that hard without breaking the glass ...

[mattyc]

Out for my first drive with my girlfriend in my new P-car, I'm so excited and proud, you know the feeling, you feel about 10 years old, all smiles. So I turned to her and asked her what she thought:

proud me: "well? what do you think?"
very underwhelmed bird: " it's ok, it's comfortable"
shocked me: " is that all you can say? you're in the worlds best car, I've wanted one all my life and all you can say is "it's comfortable!"

She also came out with a classic about not wanting me to put the groceries under the trunk as we'd bought icecream and it would melt in there with the engine before we got it home!

Needles to say, I was single shortly after that but hey, plenty more fish..etc..

[911SCfanatic]

Originally posted by jasonlee
pulled over for speeding... 150km/h in a 110km zone
officer: why were you going so fast?
me: because I didn't see you.
officer: (laughing) funniest thing I have heard all day. I'll let you off with a warning

that is funny!

[RonDent]

So Tony, do you have anyone on your street that still talks to you?

[glenncal1]

Judge (not in a good mood)-trying to kill yourself driving 85 mph.

Me-but your honor this same car has won its class at Le Mans about 25 times, 85 mph is not really dangereous.

Judge-nice try, you still get the 6 points and $150 fine.

Me-thank you sir, may I have another.

[Wavey]

Originally posted by 86 911
Yeah, that is pretty funny. I like to ask them (Jehova's Whitness) questions and listen to what they have to say if they come by.

My Dad used to invite them in, then debate with them until they surrendered. He figured he was performing a public service by tying them up for a while.

We live in the middle of 5 acres of woods, and a carload of JWs pulled up and started honking. They wanted us to hold on to the dog so they could get out. Nothing like an uninvited guest making demands.

Porsche content: my 911 was in the driveway at the time.

[motion]

I came across a middle-aged woman in the local grocery store parking lot a few years ago. She was parked with her engine lid up. I was driving my '84 Cab. I stopped and asked her if everything was OK. "Of course it isn't", she says. "I have a dead battery and that's why I have the hood up, I'm waiting for someone to jump me".

[Hoss3.0]

More JHW content. I have a buddy who told them "I'm busy right now but I would love it if you came by later". They agreed to return in a few hours. He used that time to get completely drunk (hammered if you will), changed into only a small size bath robe and invited them in to sit down. He elaborated on his outlook on life and the universe in general all the while crossing and un-crossing his legs for the better part of an hour. True story, I arrived just as it was..um..wrapping up. Next time they show up, try answering the door in your gitch they will go running.

Sorry, no Porsche content.

[Porsche Bob]

"Dude, you should shave your rain gutters!"

[72doug2,2S]

That reminds me, "Dude, you're gonna keep those wheels? I'd update those to something modern" Speaking of my beautiful "paddles" Fuchs.
Um.. No!

[JeremyD]

Originally posted by motion
I came across a middle-aged woman in the local grocery store parking lot a few years ago. She was parked with her engine lid up. I was driving my '84 Cab. I stopped and asked her if everything was OK. "Of course it isn't", she says. "I have a dead battery and that's why I have the hood up, I'm waiting for someone to jump me".

I assume that if you would have said she was an an attractive middle-aged woman - you would have jumped her? Maybe even helped her with the car too?

[TerryH]

One of the first things I did after buying my pretty clean '81SC was to replace the Kmh speedo with a MPH unit. I had found a great deal on eBay on an almost new one that had only 4200 miles shown.

Later as I was getting a new ignition key made, a couple guys that were getting their cars washed in the adjacent carwash were peering into the windows of my car. As I approached one asked what year it was and the other the asked if it was showing original mileage. I was flattered but told them it was just a new speedo. Looking back I should have said it was a garage queen and for sale. $$$

[tony77targa]

Yea Ron
I actually saw the blowpop neighbor a couple weeks ago at a local quick stop and when I said Hi she didnt remember me and started asking me how we knew each other I said you asked me once if I wanted a blowpop she started laughing and said Tony ! its you! and actually gave me a hug ....Ive since moved from both those neghbors and now live in a kinda stuffy neiborhood Town Manager lives next door and I dont want my taxes to go up ...one cool neighbor is Mike Borrdick's dad lives a couple houses up the street..also my wife has given me an official gag order.....

[JEB]

I was out for a little drive with my 10 yr old son on a nice twisty 2 lane. I was following a white van with roof racks - it looked like a contractors van with a ladder rack on top. He was going the speed limit. We hit a straight passing stretch and I punched it. As is the way when you hit boost - I was quickly in triple digits - but slowed down to 10 over quickly.

My son looked at me and said "Daddy - you just passed a cop." Sure enough - the red lights came on.

State Trooper"Are you in a hurry to get somewhere?"

Me "No - we were just out for a ride and I was playing around - I slowed down once I passed you."

ST "Nice car - but you sould quit playing - I'm only goint to write you a warning"

Me "Thank you officer"