Ultimate Dumb Question Thread

[RonDent]

Good save Jeb.

[jorian]

"...following a white van with roof racks...Sure enough - the red lights came on..."

Not fair! Sneaky bast@rds. Last winter I got pulled over by a truck with skis on a roof rack. I think he was looking to pay for his lift ticket.

[mmastro]

My mom and dad were visiting....We go into the garage, my dad wants to see "the race car":

Dad: Wow, you've really come a long way since you bought that thing! (77 930 basket-case)
Me: Yeah, she is really a blast to drive at the track...
Dad: Well, it sure looks great!
Mom: I think it looks like an old shoe.
Me: ????
Mom looks over at the 914 and says in the very next breath: And that one looks like an iron.
Me: Mom, you gotta get out of the house more often....


Well, at least I got the wife converted....She's in a Boxster.

[jorian]

Saw Stephan Wright (the comedian) last night. One of my favorite bits in his signature deadpan delivery:

"Why were you speeding?"

"My foot had the pedal mashed to the floor. It sends alot fuel to the carbureter, makes the engine go real fast. It really shoots the car forward.

(points at steering wheel). "You see this round thing? It controls the direction of the car."

Pause...2 weeks in jail.....

[cashflyer]

This happened last weekend on my trip to the Grand Fall Rod Run in Pigeon Forge, TN (rod run = big a$$ car show)

My car is a track car, with numbers and my name above the drivers door. I am sitting in a lawn chair beside the car. A guy walks up and intoduces himself, and I introduce myself. He then asks me, "is this your car?" I guess I need bigger letters on the roof.

[plymouthcolt]

My license plate is FLAT 6.

It usually occurs when I am filling up the gas.

Them: Can that car do the quarter mile in six seconds?
Me: No, it's the type of engine use in this 911
Them: blank stare...uh huh...

After saying "No, it's the type of engine use in this 911" over fifteen times...

Me: Yes it can.

[AirJose]

I am a Christian and aware of my actions, always trying to be good at heart, and do right. Several years ago I was really involved inside my open garage, working on my '69 when this guy driving a new yellow Cadillac shows up at my house with a bible in his hand and started talking about religion... I tried to be polite and replied to his religious inquiries. Finally he abused my patience and kept asking me if I knew that I was going to heaven. At that time I stopped. Looked at him and replied " I am not perfectly sure but I think that since you are driving that Cadillac and I am working on this old car, the doors to heaven will be open for me and not for you" He quickly got in his car and left.

[KWIQSLVR]

My grandmother, after hearing that her friends' son just got a brand new Porsche.
"Oh really? What kind of dog is that?"
We still tease her about that.

I got the "dude, you should put 20's on that thing" a couple of times, plus all the usual engine in the back and vw comments. After a while you just learn to smile and nod, then blow em away in the twisties.

Oh, and Tom Cruise says "Por-sha, There is no substitute." in Risky Business. One of my favorite scenes.

[Hoss3.0]

While showing off my "new" '72 911.
Him; "Why are there two gas doors"?
Me; "There isn't, one is for the oil".
Him;"The oil and gas go in the same tank"?
Me;"No Dad, there is a seperate oil tank".
Him;"Oh Yeah, that makes sense son".

In this case the apple has fallen far from the tree. Different tree altogether maybe.

[darkbeer]

them: arn't Porshez really VW's ???(them,with a snicker)

me: no, all VW's are really Porsche's (me, slight snicker...them, "George Bush at a news conference" look...)

[}{arlequin]

overheard (not by me) at a dealership

Guy and Gal looking at a Cayman. Guy, “Does it come in a convertible?”

[danl]

While watching a Mazda commercial:

The Wife: "Wow, nice car.... is that a Porsche?"

Annoyed Me: "It's a Mazda"

The Wife: "So, is Mazda making Porsches now?"

She cracks me up when she baits me like that - I can never see it coming.

[Dueller]

From a teenage girl: "That's a car like Erkel drives, isn't it?"

me: "huh? Who's Erkel?"

TAG: "You know the TV show...Erkel...the goofy black kid with glasses who wears his pants up around his chest"

Me: "Huh?"

Come to find out this show has him driving a BMW Isetta.

**SIGH*** Oh well, atleast its another German car.

[charleskieffner]

cabri-o-lei is sitting in grocery store parking lot. cab has das sports 4-pt rollbar in it, and recaros, women walks up "how does anybody sit in the back of that thing?" i reply "its not a THANG, those were made by VW, this is made by porsche" her reply in typical north scottsdale fashion ................"WHATEVER!"

[Steveinatlanta]

I was out at Kinetic speed shop in Atlanta about 8 months ago. There was a brand new ford gt sitting there prepped, detailed, Q-tipped and logo'd for a trip out to their booth at the Sema show. Talking to a mechanic I know fairly well, I opened the door to it. Then I apologised to him and said that I shouldn't have touched it, or at least asked. He said "No, go ahead, have a seat." Sat down, the keys were in the ignition. As erious as I could be, I reached for the keys and said "Go ahead and open the door." "I promise, I won't be 20 munites." After a brief pause, he patiently said; "Try not to get your feet on the carpet."