Stupid PO tricks?

I thought there might be some good horror stories about dumb things you've discovered that your car's PO might have done.

Mine are pretty minor.

1. Painted the dash lightbulbs red
2. Installed rear speakers by just cutting large holes in the rear side panels and shoving the speakers in. He counted on the speaker magnet to hold them in place.

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Bill Krause
'79 911SC Euro

Didn't tell you where the wheel locks are. Wasn't informed about a hidden alarm/lockout switch.

Jw

Not sure what kind of brain trauma p.o. had, but he "repaired" the rear center panel (early 911) by fashioning pieces from old Tennesse liscense plates. ?


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Clint
73T mfi coupe

I have (had) an alarm with the code-key type. I was never told how to disarm it.

I had a photocopy of the instructions, but, you guessed it, missing the disarm code. Press the # or * before or after the code.

At least I got the code.. ?

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Nick Hromyak
'85 Carrera 7 & 9 Fuchs
Havin' Fun in
Sacramento CA

Jacked up the car with a floor jack under the driver's seat. Used a poor (read none) fitting clamp on a gas line. (Yes it leaked!) Put a plastic whale tail on a '69. But, Hey! I got it cheap! I think.

Serviced the car at a Ferarri dealer.

I have a pretty long list!!

He installed a keyless entry system, I found the brain in a plastic bag in the back left corner of the trunk wrapped in duct tape!

He installed power windows and a stereo with a sub and amp all wired into the battery hot!!

All the splices were wrapped with duct tape!!

He also did the thing with the speakers in the back.

For some reason I still can't figure out he thought that the front of the car needed to be higher than the rear, "for better handling!" And to make things worse he had a turbo whale tail on it with no front spoiler!!!

This is the short list!!!! It has taken me the better part of a year to straighten it all out and I'm just now to the point where I can see a light at the end of the tunnel.

Jason
'79SC Euro

There are a few slight indiscretions that don't really warrent mentioning but there is also one that jumps right out at you.. He cut two holes into the engine compartment just below the rear window to put in the rear speakers.. I don't know who's the bigger ******* because I upgraded the speakers....
I also put up some insulation to deaden the noise and protect me from fumes..
Pete

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'77 Carrera3.0 www.geocities.com/pcafaro2000/carrera30.html

Jason, with the raised front and rear wing, he might have been trying to engineer a triple-digit wheelie car. I suppose there's less tire-induced drag, if you can keep the thing balanced on the rear wheels!

My p.o. ignored the stock mounting points for the wire to the starter, and tied it off with twine, instead. Time passed, and the wire fell down to rest on the rear right stub axle, which worked -- during my 1800-mile drive home -- like a metal file, slowly grinding through the insulation...

...until 9:30 at night on Cinco de Mayo in the middle of the New Mexican desert. I have a picture, somewhere -- all black. No light for miles. All you can see is one Fuchs reflecting the light of the moon.

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Jack Olsen
1973 911 T (3.6) sunroof coupe
jackolsen@mediaone.net

[This message has been edited by JackOlsen (edited 05-02-2001).]

My PO built a new rear package shelf from wood and leather (did a beautiful job, as he's a cabinet maker), but the speaker magnets still contacted the metal, so folded up shop rags were used for padding..........

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Michael
'78 911SC Euro

My PO took real good care of my car for 29 years. Replaced the self levelling suspension with torsion bars. Upgraded to Carerra tensioners. Upgraded the brakes to S calipers. Put in electronic ignition. Replaced original 15" wheels with 16" x 6" Fuchs. Upgraded brake lines and put stainless pistons in the calipers.

Then he sold it to me for $6500 - ya gotta love the guy - he makes up for all the Bozos out there.

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Allan Broadribb
'70-911E, 2.2l with Webers

i had some real bad handling going on, pulled over, looked over the car, saw nothing wrong, drove off only to pull over again to find nothing wrong again, pulled away from the curb up to the stop sign, stopped, then pulled out only to have my left rear wheel fall off,allright everyone STOP LAUGHING, thank god the wheel hub stayed on the inside of the wheel rim, or i probably would have really tore the car up.

Some PO of my car replaced the windshield. He/she must not have had insurance, because the one in my car does not have the built in antenna (cheaper). That doesn't sound too bad, until I tell you the rest.
He/she must have just HAD to listen to the radio, because he/she cut a hole in the passenger fender and mounted a cheesy $20 flexible antenna there. If I ever meet the person I'm gonna slap them... REALLY HARD!
I've been trying to figure out what to do about it. A regular Hirschman (or any other type of power antenna) will not fit in there. I've been looking for a plastic plug to put in the hole (remove antenna) that I can paint... Arrgh! I feel like a ricer!

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Dan Tolley
1987 911 Coupe
http://www.cheaterswayside.com/911/gallery.asp?sort=0&userid=294

Not telling that a car alarm had been installed. The paint shop, not me, discovered this.

Not telling that the car had a fuel pump cut-off switch installed. I discovered this only coincidentually after r&ring the carpet, finding an odd switch and a week later having the fuel pump going out.
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Paul
78SC Targa

If I don't hold the record on this one I truly pitty the fool that does.

This list is from my first 911 experience, a '73T:

- Leaking oil tank repaired with EPOXY
- No working brakes due to MC leaking on floor
- Non functioning e-brake due to incorrectly repaired pads
- Two inch sheet metal screws sticking out the bottom of pan
- A very bad attempt at a wide body conversion
- Duct tape holding the shifter coupler together
- Wiring nightmare aftermarket stereo system
- Complete circus waggon light show when any switch was turned
- Headlight/taillight housings wired (spliced) to incorrect switches
- Light bulbs wrapped in masking tape to fit damaged housing
- Torsion bars not properly adjusted causing massive handling maladies
- Targa latches completely wallowed out, key bent

I could go on but it is getting too embarrassing. This is what happens when the price seems too good, the buyer too eager, and the seller a total crook/moron.

If there is a silver lining (and you gotta look hard) it is that I learned to repair every system on that car. I later found out that this car was a theft recovery that had been severely chopped. The PO thought he would make a widebody from it. Too bad he had the mechanical aptitude of a three year old.

My PO (2nd one back in the ownership chain) had the 2.4 in my 72'T converted to a 2.7 RS engine per Bruce Anderson's formula and didn't document it. The PO just ahead of me knew nothing of it. I discovered it when it blew a head gasket and decided to do a top end. I thought the engine ran awfully strong for the few weeks I was actually able to drive it, but what the heck...it was my first 911 and I longed to know what a 2.7 would be like if this "2.4" ran so strong. Now I know. The whole story is at my site (scroll to the bottom of the pages for the updates):
http://members.aol.com/Hatari063/porsche/rs.html

Jack McAllister

Originally posted by wckrause:
1. Painted the dash lightbulbs red
2. Installed rear speakers by just cutting large holes in the rear side panels and shoving the speakers in. He counted on the speaker magnet to hold them in place.
[/B]

This is scary, that is EXACTLY what the PO did to my car!


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Joshua Harrison
1968 912 Coupe

Dan, I too have a PO-antenna-moron. He restored the car and put on new front fenders, which was nice of him. His emotional attachment to the fenders would not allow him to drill an antenna hole, so he drilled it in the ROOF! VW style!
Other offences include 5-spoke hub caps over the '68 chrome steel wheels and he was in the midst of a custom black shag carpet job when I bought the car (saved the car) from him. Luckily, he kept the original tan carpet set. This car was well on its way to becoming Rice-a-Roni.

Adam White
68 912 Coupe.

Wow.

Damn, I don't feel so bad now-the worst thing I found on my '66 912 was mismatched wheels and some weird type of caulk around the window rubber. Well, there were a few of the ubiquitous wire splices twisted together and wrapped with electical tape, too...

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Clay McGuill '66 912, '97 Jeep Cherokee www.geocities.com/the912guy