How about a joke thread?

[doug_porsche]

Female dad jokeshttps://youtube.com/shorts/-2mRCH1k2DA?si=IP7bEv5saQM3eNpP

[GH85Carrera]

[Bill Douglas]

I'm in the hospital right now... My cousin swallowed 4Gb memory card and he is singing all the songs in it. We are praying and hoping it doesn't reach the video folder.

[GH85Carrera]

[oldE]

A good friend is a OBGYN.. In his 30s, unmarried and seems quite attractive to ladies we know. My wife asked him one time why he hadn't found someone. He explained that from time to time he would be given a phone number, but when they would say, "Look me up, sometime." , he always felt they were just trying to get an appointment.

[craigster59]

The IRS suspected that a fishing boat owner wasn’t paying proper wages to his deckhand, so they sent an agent to investigate.

The agent boarded the boat and said, “I need a list of your employees and how much you pay them.”

The boat owner replied, “Well, there’s Clarence, my deckhand. He’s been with me for three years. I pay him $1,000 a week, plus free room and board.

“Then there’s the mentally challenged guy. He works about eighteen hours a day and does roughly ninety percent of the work around here. He makes about $30 a week, pays his own room and board, and every Saturday night I buy him a bottle of Bacardi and a dozen Budweisers so he can cope with life. He even gets to sleep with my wife occasionally.”

The IRS agent frowned and said, “That’s the guy I want to talk to—the mentally challenged one.”

The boat owner nodded and said, “That would be me. What would you like to know?”

[Bill Douglas]

Was in the pub earlier telling my mate that joke about “what would you do if an epileptic had a fit in a bath.......Throw your washing in”

All of a sudden the bloke on the next table said
“my brother was epileptic & he had a fit in the bath & died”
Well I’d have been happy if the ground had swallowed me up.

“I said sorry to hear that mate, did he drown?”
He said “No he choked on a sock”

[Steve Carlton]

Have you heard of 68? (No). It's like 69, but I owe you one.

[mthomas58]

Why is six afraid of seven?

Because seven eight nine.

[mthomas58]

What's the difference between a metrosexual and a homosexual?

One martini!

[Rapewta]

What's a name for a Hispanic lady with short legs?..... Consuelo

[Zeke]

Why does a Waymo car have rear view mirrors?