need advice guys...(long)

[cool_chick]

And Kyle, thank you..I was initially wondering...whaaaaa????

And Randy, IMO that's the worst thing, you just end up repeating your mistakes. Alone time and finding yourself...gain confidence....and you'll have more to offer and will gravitate to another confident one.....

[EdT82SC]

Tom,

I'd guess most men have gone through what you are going through. You just haven't learned yet that you don't have to take BS. Some men never learn that lesson. In my twenties I had some close friends that were a few years older then me, and every time I started dating some new punisher controller (PC for short) like you have on your hands they would tell me to ditch her. Each time I knew they were wrong about this one until she bloodied my nose (emotionally), and learned that they were right. It's pretty normal to go in with blinders on. You can date her if you like. Just realize that the next time some new guy catches her eye you are going to be dropped again. It would be smart to start dating some other girls, and keep this one as the number 2 or 3 backup. A good rule to remember that you first need to figure out where you are going in life, and then figure out who to take with you. And have fun too!

[vash]

agreed!

if a person cant be happy by themselves, they are just setting themselves up for a life of hell. not always, there is luck. but for the most part, you just go through life sacrificing your own personal goals. i met my current girlfriend after a 2 year dry spell. i wasnt even looking. living on my own, having a great time. i came off very confident, and i was.

looking back the previous two, i was just settling, because i was on the lonely side. and they were both psycho. that two year run was a blast. i had some very healthy conficence building one night stands.

Hey Tom,
What's her name - Heather, Tiffany, or Britany?

[vash]

oh, toss my advice, if the girl can suck start a harley. and get the honey an I-tune gift certificate!

[nostatic]

once you break up, don't go back. It is never the same...

BUT. You are young. You should do whatever, but keep a journal of what you're thinking and doing. You are going to make mistakes in relationships and every other aspect of life. YOU WILL SCREW UP. You also cannot do what we say...sure, listen, take note, but your actions are your own. The sooner you learn to take responsibility for your choices, the better off you will be. Just realize that it is ok to make bad choices as long as your learn.

And as I said, keep a journal of what you're thinking and (dare I say it) what you're feeling. It can help to give you some perspective down the line and avoid getting into unhealthy patterns. Much cheaper than therapy too...

[Moses]

The pain of heartbreak is fleeting,
but the agony of humiliation lasts a lifetime.

[cool_chick]

Originally posted by Moses
The pain of heartbreak is fleeting,
but the agony of humiliation lasts a lifetime.

IT does?

LOL

Don't believe him PORCHE.

[BRPORSCHE]

sorry about having you guys wait...but I had physics and lunch...Moses I wish everyone said what you are saying, but I know I just don't share the same feelings for her as i used to. I want to love her so much, and I am going to try so hard to make this work. I know I probably won't end it, but if she breaks up with me again then I am done. Her homecoming is coming up in 2 weeks, hopefully i can get some more brownie points! and maybe she will decide to keep me. I have tried telling her time after time that the porsche is waaaaaaaaay nicer then the supra!

[nostatic]

Originally posted by BRPORSCHE
Her homecoming is coming up in 2 weeks, hopefully i can get some more brownie points! and maybe she will decide to keep me. I have tried telling her time after time that the porsche is waaaaaaaaay nicer then the supra!

Dude. I know you probably can't "hear" this, but this is exactly the *opposite* of what you need to be thinking. Trying to earn brownie points will lead to nothing but heartache. You have to be who you are (which of course is wildly in transition at this point in your life). But trying to be the person you think she wants is a guaranteed path to a lousy relationship and you starting unhealthy patterns that will be very difficult to break later in life.

Being the best you that you can be is the way to go. Not stuck up or egotistical, but just yourself. Being a puppy dog will just get you kicked and yanked.

[1967 R50/2]

Originally posted by BRPORSCHE
I know I probably won't end it, but if she breaks up with me again then I am done. Her homecoming is coming up in 2 weeks, hopefully i can get some more brownie points! and maybe she will decide to keep me. I have tried telling her time after time that the porsche is waaaaaaaaay nicer then the supra!

Dude-

Well you have obviously made up your mind but I'll say it anyway:

Run. You are trying to play the white knight, but it is sure to go un-appreciated.

You should not have to convince her, win brownie points, etc. If she is into you, it should be much easier than that.

Run. You are at college...correct? There must be hundreds of young lovelies around that would appreciate a young man of your nature.

Of course, if they don't, consider jettisoning the P-car for a BMW bike.

Just kidding!

[masraum]

Originally posted by BRPORSCHE
sorry about having you guys wait...but I had physics and lunch...Moses I wish everyone said what you are saying, but I know I just don't share the same feelings for her as i used to. I want to love her so much, and I am going to try so hard to make this work. I know I probably won't end it, but if she breaks up with me again then I am done. Her homecoming is coming up in 2 weeks, hopefully i can get some more brownie points! and maybe she will decide to keep me. I have tried telling her time after time that the porsche is waaaaaaaaay nicer then the supra!

No, No, No, No!! Dude, you are still in HS, you're young, you'll probably have a dozen more girl friends, at least. This chick just wants to keep you as a backup unless there's something better or more fun around, then when that's gone it's back to you. This will never go anywhere good. You can enjoy her company and have fun, but I'd consider this little more than a part time job. Just something to occupy your time until you get a better job.

If she respected you she wouldn't be jerking you around the way she is. I'm guessing that you really like her and because you do you make her feel good about herself. That's why she keeps you around.

Good Luck!

[Moses]

The subjugation of pride comes with a price. When this is over you will not regret having been in love, but you will suffer from your loss of dignity. You are grovelling and begging for affection. Ultimately you will be rejected. Learn from your pain, grasshopper.

[widebody911]

haven't had sex and friends with benefits are mutually-exclusive terms.

[Steeve]

Originally posted by widebody911
haven't had sex and friends with benefits are mutually-exclusive terms.

That was EXACTLY what I was thinking. What are the benefits??? She lets you buy her expensive things???

[widebody911]

Dude, you really need to go read http://laddertheory.com/ and http://www.intellectualwhores.com/

You, my friend, are an intellectual whore.

[MikeSid]

Originally posted by widebody911
haven't had sex and friends with benefits are mutually-exclusive terms.

I thought the same thing... but I think there is some playing in the gray area going on here.

[nostatic]

Originally posted by MikeSid
I thought the same thing... but I think there is some playing in the gray area going on here.

The areas better be pink rather than gray, otherwise something is *really* askew...

[asphaltgambler]

Just say......NO!.....................Then say NEXT!

[MikeSid]

Originally posted by nostatic
The areas better be pink rather than gray, otherwise something is *really* askew...

Yeah... it's all so confusing. Was it an I-pod or a 2 carat ring? What thread am I on? Where am I?