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Potty Training!!!

Oh my Lord, I never thought I would have such a frustrating experience. We are trying to potty train son, who turned 3 in November. This is our 3rd go at it. The previous times we gave up after a couple days. This is day 3. He still has not really peed in the potty. On day one he let a few drops go after my wife loaded him with fluids. It took him over 4 hours to pee on Friday. Then he promptly soaked his pants 5 minutes after "peeing on the potty" (the 5 drops). Ok, try again yesterday. Same story. Didn't pee all morning, despite being put on the potty every 20 minutes, and then soaked his pullup at naptime. Let another 5 drops go into the potty last night before bed.

Today was the coup de grace. Got him up and loaded him with fluids again. He sat on the potty for about 2 hours while my wife and I took turns, reading stories, singing, etc. He actually started to pee once but cut it off as soon as he realized he was peeing. He had to go so bad he was saying his tummy hurt. Eventually we took him off and put a pullup back on him. He's down for his nap now.

We have tried bribing him with M&Ms, running the water in the bathroom, giving him a favorite new toy for going in the potty, etc.

At this point it looks like he is actively holding in the urine instead of letting it go into the toilet and my wife and I are at our wits end.

Any suggestions or comments from those with experience??

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Old 01-08-2006, 10:36 AM
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You're not alone Rick. I have 3 kids. First two, no problem. Fen, who turns 3 in two weeks, had an interest a month ago, and now, none. Ironically, today we are refusing to put a diaper on her and she is not happy. Either underpants or nude--she peed her underwear once today, and then sat on the potty at least...M&M's worked a while ago--no go anymore. Our philosophy is that of "Don't force too much"--does that make sense? It'll happen eventually. Still frustrating, though. We're going crazy too!
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Old 01-08-2006, 10:47 AM
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Nathan,

Relax...they'll make no porcelin bound poo before it's time.

Really, relax. My daughter was potty trained literally in the womb...my son had a different agenda. We stopped trying and everything worked out just fine. Less pressure seems to have a positive affect on boys.
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Old 01-08-2006, 10:49 AM
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Yeah, I think we are probably pushing him too hard. We talked about it and we are going to go with pullups for now and just keep casually asking him if he wants to go. Put him on if he says yes, otherwise just let him go in the pullup...
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Old 01-08-2006, 10:52 AM
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Quote:
Originally posted by Nathans_Dad
Yeah, I think we are probably pushing him too hard. We talked about it and we are going to go with pullups for now and just keep casually asking him if he wants to go. Put him on if he says yes, otherwise just let him go in the pullup...
Pullups are a Dad's best friend...we came to the same conclusion and all was well. Have fun!
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Old 01-08-2006, 11:16 AM
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Old 01-08-2006, 12:05 PM
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Dad,

From the post it readsd like a competiton..

The no pressure route worked for our little one....now 4 and hasn't seen a diaper in about 16months.

We were lucky but we also knew that there was no 'time' in which it had to happen....we kinda just asked him if he need the potty at 'appropriate times'...usually it was no, but it was no problem.. than one day he siad yes...and he made it work...

Boys seem to respond better to this more 'casual' approach...

My nieces however were a differnt matter...
Old 01-08-2006, 12:09 PM
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Our 2year/3month daughter is doing ok with it. She pees and occasionly will poop on the pot. We made a chart, with two sides, pee and poop. If she pees on the pot, she gets to pick a star. If she poops, she gets a NEMO sticker.

She is so young that we are not pushing anything. She still goes in her diaper too, and thats fine with us. We just introduced the pottty as another option, and she seems ok with it.

Try this:

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0764152327/002-8415651-1289655?v=glance&n=283155
Old 01-08-2006, 12:14 PM
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Ok sounds weird but we have always let our son watch us use the bath room. We got one of those "training toilets" when he was 13 or 14 months old. We let him sit on ect but never pushed the fact. At about 2.5 years we started asking him if he wanted to use the toilet - We never pushed.

Woke up one morning and he informed me he had to pee. I took him over to the toilet (real one) let him go. He refused a pull up and from that day forward he has been going strong - we still put a pull up on him at night but 90% of the time he wakes up dry or wakes one of us up in the middle of the night to go pee.
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Old 01-08-2006, 12:16 PM
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Make a game out of it. Toss a cheerio in the toilet and tell him to aim for it. If it works, reward him with something he likes, but not something he gets on a regular basis. It might help motivate him. Just a suggestion...
Old 01-08-2006, 01:51 PM
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This is what worked for both of our children.

First of all, Don't give up. Be persistant, and he will catch on. Second, I didn't use pullups because they were too much like diapers. I took advice from friends and bought real undies with their fav cartoon charachters on them, and it did help, they feel the wet, instead of absorbant pullups. Third, most kids want to be like parents, let him watch you in the bathroom or else he has no idea what the heck is supposed to be doing. Potty after meals, naps and about every 30 min or so. He'll catch on, but you cant give up. It took 5 days of this with one of my children, and then he caught on.
Old 01-08-2006, 02:07 PM
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He's not ready. Try again in a month.
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Old 01-08-2006, 02:14 PM
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It's not potty training, it's parent training.

Learn to let go. If he's not ready, so what? He won't likely be crapping his pants in high school and you won't be changing diapers forever. Believe it or not, potty training failures are tough on kids. They feel like they have disappointed you. Patience, grasshopper.
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Old 01-08-2006, 02:41 PM
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Excellent timing on this, guys!!
My son had an interest in the potty a few weeks ago then just forgot about it. He's only 2+ three weeks so I suggested to the wife that we wait a bit longer. We have a daughter due in March so he hopefully will learn quickly. I attempted to show him how it works(at wifey's urging!).
That is one wierd situation, I'm sorry. Whizzing while junior looks up at your thang just seems odd.
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Old 01-08-2006, 03:48 PM
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Thanks for the tips. We tried the Cheerios thing, I was great at sinking them and he thought that was funny, but no real interest in giving it a go himself. On the bright side, I had a good time.

We are going to go with the persistent yet non-pressure approach and see how he does. I think my wife and I both came to the conclusion that the only thing that changed was our outlook on things. He was in diapers 3 days ago and it wasn't a big deal so it shouldn't be a big deal if he is in diapers 3 days from now. We are just pretty ready to quit changing his diapers at this point, plus the fact that he is 3 makes us think he SHOULD be potty trained. He has his own timetable though.
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Old 01-08-2006, 04:01 PM
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two words - duct tape. Fasten the lil curt'n climber to the pot till there is production then reward them with a sip of water and a saltine.

Just kid'n - Relax. He will get it, they all do. Kids are like animals, they can sense it when your all tied up in knots. Besides, how many 14 year olds do you know that pee their pants? Well, keg parties aren't included. It will happen, it will happen.
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Old 01-08-2006, 04:34 PM
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Old 01-08-2006, 04:37 PM
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Old 01-08-2006, 10:42 PM
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My wife and i went on vacation for a couple of weeks, left our oldest (2.5 then) with the in-laws, came back and he was potty trained. Our youngest son wanted to have Ninja Turtles Undies just like his big brother when he turned 3 and potty trained himself to get them.

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Old 01-09-2006, 02:22 AM
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Why the hurry ? I understand "potty training" is still big in the US. Here in Sweden its a non-issue at that age. More harm than gain.

As a fellow father of four and a pediatrician I suggest you let him be till he is good and ready himself.

As Moses put it - its a parent issue.

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Old 01-09-2006, 02:45 AM
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