Advice please , I messed up big time.

[nostatic]

if it's a healthy white baby, you could probably sell it on the black market for about $50K. That would buy a sweet 911...

[Dan in Pasadena]

Well, I was going to say, +100 on NOT MARRYING THE GIRL. To me, that would just compound your mistake.

Both made a mistake? Yup.
Ask strangers? Nope...but you already did.
Take responsiblity? ABSOLUTELY, but you can do that without compunding the mistake by making the child grow up seeing an unhappy relationship/marriage. And eventually knowing that he/she was the only reason you were ever together.

Could it work out? Sure, anything CAN work out but does it strike you like an auspicious beginning?

You know it actually IS possible to deal with this like adults and agree to raise the child in as loving a manner as possible and with a mutually supportive and caring relationship - but without forcing something you said originally was a "casual" relationship. If two of your original options were doing this or leaving the country, you picked the absolute hardest one to carry off.

From the perspective of already having raised two children, whatever you do NEVER allow that child to feel uncherished, a burden or that he/she is the cause of anything negative if at all possible. Best of luck.

[Jim Bremner]

check the paternity test.

If you can't do it upfront with her, do it on the side.




girls will lie

[Dan in Pasadena]

Originally posted by nostatic
if it's a healthy white baby, you could probably sell it on the black market for about $50K. That would buy a sweet 911...

This is why you don't ask strangers!.....oh and someone's (?) take on the stereotypic "hot" Latin or Irish temperments

[BGCarrera32]

DO NOT have her get an abortion. Absolutely the worst advice on this topic period. You will likely scar the poor woman emotionally for life, and I suspect since you are already this concerned to be asking the hard questions you would be as well. You planted the seed and its time to face the music- be the best father you can be and you will be rewarded with one of life's best experiences, even during times when the chips are down. Be there, be you, be honest and do the best you can. God bless, I sincerely hope you stick with it, you won't be dissapointed in the long haul.

BG

edited for grammatical oops

[nostatic]

well, it is just a guess, but I reckon he's one of these

but maybe i'm wrong. been wrong before...

[Lurker Jr.]

hey, I aren't we all trolls here?

[trekkor]

Which poster?


KT

[M.D. Holloway]

How many of these have we seen?

[Dan in Pasadena]

Originally posted by nostatic
well, it is just a guess, but I reckon he's one of these

but maybe i'm wrong. been wrong before...

Yeah, I "get" it; I got it when I first read it but on this particular topic it seems especially inappropropriate. I don't know, maybe its just me but the guy's already been through one failed marriage and is ALREADY dealing with custody issues, posts a question for advice to a bunch of strangers and THAT'S the time that is appropriate for tongue-in-cheek humor?

[trekkor]

Originally posted by Lurker Jr.
hey, I aren't we all trolls here?

No.

Some of us really do enjoy good conversation and honest interaction.


I don't know you. But I knew IMMEDIATELY, it would turn into an abortion debate...


KT

[nostatic]

umm...err....what part of "troll" didn't you understand?

my guess would be there is no failed marriage, no pregnant girlfriend, and he isn't interested in buying a 911.

but i've been wrong before...