Divorce...

[Jims5543]

Because he cannot believe his buddy had to fork over 7 million AND 20k a month.

....and I agree, men are being castrated in this country.

[Gogar]

Welp, in some countries, you just kill her. And it's ok.

[Moses]

Originally Posted by pwd72s

Just a thought...Moses,why do you care enough to start this thread?

Because it seems to me that something is missing... informed consent.

You can't buy a car without being formally apprised of your lemon law rights. You can't buy a house without being informed of the true cost of your financing. Marriage is the most important contract any of us ever signs, yet the state sanctions these "partnerships" without council or any documentation of your potential liability. You can get married in a church, on a beach, pretty much anywhere. It can be a religious or civil ceremony but at no time is anyone required to sit down with the partners to the contract and explain the ramifications.

[mikester]

'Marriage' should not be a legislated contract. It is a religious institution.

Folks should be forced to enter into 'domestic partnerships' which would be legislated by the state and should have these provisions you describe Moses.

I'm glad my wife is awesome.

[Gogar]

Well, there's a lot of "Predatory Clergy" out there. Marrying all those people who got suckered by "Predatory Lending."

Sorry, that was a stretch. Damn Valpolicella.

[Moses]

Originally Posted by mikester

'Marriage' should not be a legislated contract. It is a religious institution.

Folks should be forced to enter into 'domestic partnerships' which would be legislated by the state and should have these provisions you describe Moses.

I'm glad my wife is awesome.

That's exactly, EXACTLY where I'm going with this. There should be no contractual obligations (except child support) that automatically accompany a religious ceremony unless the couple have agreed to a "domestic partnership" and have had proper council.

[Dan in Pasadena]

Originally Posted by craigster59

...My Wife and I have been together since 1985, and married in '02 (DanInPas and Sniper, I agree it's just paper, it was for insurance reasons). Believe you me, we've had bumps in the road and knockout, dragout arguments, but the bottom line is we respect each other and Love each other.

Walking away from a problem is easy, confronting your problems can be ugly and painful but you have to give it a shot.

By the way, I don't mean to disrespect people who have been through relationships where one side gives up while the other wants to work it out. If both aren't together, there's no hope for repair.

Craig, I TRULY envy those of you that have a happy marriage. It was my intended life's goal. I THOUGHT I would be married for life. Like you, we had a few "hard spots" as most long term marriage do. Things you know you don't really see eye-to-eye on and you have generally worked out ways around these things; ways of dealing with them, but I was wrong.

If you have been together that long there is more than just your love at stake if things get tough. Certainly the children. Not only in the moment but the rest of their lives will be different than if you find a way to rekindle your relationship. I didn't truly understand the depth of that at the time. There are also a lifetimes memories and relationships with others. Loved ones on both sides and dear friends that are effected in the event of a split. I doubt my ex gave that serious consideration. When I see her now there is a sixth sense. I have known her since she was 13 years old. I KNOW what goes through her heqad and I know she has second thoughts. Unfortunately, tough! Her bed, she has to lay in it.

In the old days I'd hear so-and-so were splitting up and I'd say, "Gee, that's too bad" and I'd go about my day. Now if I hear it? It brings up a visceral pain for what they are about to go through. Not only emotionally but financially, parentally and forever. It lingers with me now.

[nostatic]

so you want the nanny state to dictate that someone warn these poor unsuspecting guys about the realities of community property?

He's an idiot. And evidently doesn't learn. Next...

[m21sniper]

Originally Posted by Jim Cesiro

I work to live not live to work.

Moses, you friend CHOSE work over family. Service orientated? 14 million company and this guy could not fin 1 person in the entire country to do his job as good as him?

He lived to work and did not want to be with his family. He can say he loved them all he wants but actions speak louder than words, and his actions said work was more important to him.

I pay a guy 65K a year (in this area of Florida its VERY good money) to be me when I am not there. I may not be a rich as your friend materially when I am old but I will be richer than him family wise because my kids and my wife know I make an effort to be with them as much as possible and they love me for it.

In the last 2 weeks I was out of the office 10 of the 14 days spending time:

a. with my family in our timeshare in Atlantis for a week

b. got off plane from Nassau, dropped kids at Grandma's and jumped on plane to North Carolina to pick up POS Audi, drive to Savannah and spend 2 romantic nights alone with the wife.

I CHOOSE my family first...

That's the way to do it bro. I commend you for your clarity of thought on this matter.

Working 60-70 hours a week is asking for trouble, and i simply cannot take anyone that works that many hours seriously when they contend "It's family first for me."

Yeah, right.

Originally Posted by nostatic

He's an idiot. And evidently doesn't learn. Next...

I agree 100%.

[carambola]

why doesn't he take that deal.
let the wife have the business, she pays him 7M up front and 20K a month for the rest of his life.

[71T Targa]

Originally Posted by Gogar

Well, there's a lot of "Predatory Clergy" out there. Marrying all those people who got suckered by "Predatory Lending."

Sorry, that was a stretch. Damn Valpolicella.

That really wasn't a stretch at all. There is a LOT of pressure from the church and people in it to get married. If you want to live together? Oh man, you had BETTER be married.

Ok, maybe the connection to marrying the suckers that got ARMs never expecting then to change was a stretch. But the "Predatory Clergy" isn't too far off. I know they will marry people that have no business getting married. I was there 16 years ago.

[71T Targa]

Originally Posted by carambola

why doesn't he take that deal.
let the wife have the business, she pays him 7M up front and 20K a month for the rest of his life.

I wish it worked that way. I offered to 'give up' my things that she thought were worth so much (including the P car) in exchange for 1/2 of what she thought they were worth. She didn't see it that way, and neither did the judge.

[craigster59]

I hope I don't get flamed and have to turn in my "Man Card" for this, but there's a movie I worked on awhile back, (O.K., a "Chick Flick") that really is a great statement and decent film about relationships and bumpy roads called "Story of Us" with Bruce Willis and Michelle Pfeiffer.

It's worth a watch.

[Dan in Pasadena]

Originally Posted by craigster59

I hope I don't get flamed and have to turn in my "Man Card" for this, but there's a movie I worked on awhile back, (O.K., a "Chick Flick") that really is a great statement and decent film about relationships and bumpy roads called "Story of Us" with Bruce Willis and Michelle Pfeiffer.

It's worth a watch.

That came out EXACTLY at the time I was going through my divorce. Just the trailer bothered me. I never saw it. It seemed like it was gonna hit too close to home. Where do I report to turn in my stones?