"To be honest...."

[scottmandue]

Originally Posted by exitwound

yeah. "to be honest" is a setup for what's coming, an emphasis that you're being honest even if it's going to hurt their feelings.

Originally Posted by gprsh924

This is how I use it. I am not implying that anything I said before was anything less than the truth, just that this current statement might be painful.

Originally Posted by jeffgrant

I generally take it to be a shortened version of "to be BRUTALLY honest", in other words, "prepare yourself to hear some stuff that you're not going to like".

This is how I use it also... but then my dad taught me "if you always tell the truth you don't have to keep track of what you said."

[911Rob]

salesman 101: Don't use the phrase, period.

[AndyK!]

My favorite verbal clutch is "per se". I have a co-worker uses the phrase in just about every sentence and in the wrong context, per se.

[techweenie]

"Well, to be honest, our Extended Warranty program is a ripoff."

[Heel n Toe]

I basically ignore it... I think it's a throwaway and I don't think many people pay attention to what they say or how it may be perceived anyway.

Another version of it that is a little less goofy-sounding would be when someone says something like, "Honestly, Bob, I can't think of anyone I'd rather work with on this project."

I guess it is also similar to the use of "seriously" in the same situation.

Or "personally," as in "Personally, Bob, I can't think of anyone I'd rather work with on this project."

In agreement with whoever mentioned it on page 1, I also find "the fact of the matter is" to be a totally useless waste of breath and time.

I also find the use of the word "actually" in every other sentence to be very annoying.

"Hey Matt, are you guys coming out to Andy's gig tonight?"

"Actually, we were planning to, but we just remembered that we had already committed to go to this dinner with Bonnie's sister."

"Cool... y'all have fun. You know the band is gonna be releasing their new CD tonight... do you want me to pick one up for you?"

"Actually, yes... that would be great... I may call you tomorrow morning."

"Okay."

"Actually, we're planning to hit some garage sales near you... would it be okay if we drop by around 11 to get it?"

And on and on and on and on...

[Monza_dh]

Originally Posted by 911rob

salesman 101: Don't use the phrase, period.

+1

[scottmandue]

Originally Posted by 911Rob

salesman 101: Don't be honest, period.

Fixed it for you.

[Zeke]

Originally Posted by Monza_dh

"to be honest with you" is a major no-no at my company. If you are on a sales call with any managers and say it your are on the shtt list and will get called out by the VP. I used to use it but now never do after working it out of my vocabulary. Now when I hear it I cringe as well.

I agree with the crutch theory or that it's a conversational pause to say now you're going to say something meaningful.

But having so much control over each person's speech is weird to me. Everywhere I go I hear, "No problem." I'm told that in customer service, this is the same as a double negative as in two negative terms bound together.

Yes, I'm tired of hearing it, but someone saying that to me on the phone has never affected my willingness to do business with this person or company as long as there are no problems.

At least "honest" is a positive word. "Can't" certainly is not.