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Loomis's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Placer County, CA
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Blonde Joke

Shamelessly stolen from an Audi forum:

A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighbourhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do.

"Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?"
The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?"
The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch."

A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.
"You're finished already?" he asked. "Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats. "Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. "And by the way," the blonde added, "that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."

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Old 10-25-2010, 11:02 AM
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Man...I'd hate to tell ya how many decades ago I heard that one..
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Old 10-25-2010, 11:04 AM
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Is telling a recycled joke prohibited under copyright law?
Old 10-25-2010, 11:13 AM
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Hey man, I'm pretty new around here, and did my due diligence prior to posting. I'll try it on my blonde wife and daughter, cuz they LOVE blonde jokes.
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Old 10-25-2010, 11:26 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Loomis View Post
Hey man, I'm pretty new around here, and did my due diligence prior to posting. I'll try it on my blonde wife and daughter, cuz they LOVE blonde jokes.
Loomis, don't feel bad. Almost everything that is not brand new has been discussed here before. Some folks feel obligated to tell you some things are a repost or old. Thanks for trying and welcome to the crazy world of OT. Don't take anything personal you see here.

More than a few members have picked up their crayons and gone away from the site because someone hurt their feelings. If you express any opinion on any subject someone will have the opposite opinion and call you a poopie head.

If you really want to see some futile arguing venture over to PARF. But be warned it is gruesome in there.
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Old 10-25-2010, 11:34 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Joe Bob View Post
Is telling a recycled joke prohibited under copyright law?
Touche'...right after I posted, I though the joke was obviously new to Loomis...
sorry.
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"Now, to put a water-cooled engine in the rear and to have a radiator in the front, that's not very intelligent."
-Ferry Porsche (PANO, Oct. '73) (I, Paul D. have loved this quote since 1973. It will remain as long as I post here.)
Old 10-25-2010, 11:36 AM
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i am young enough to have heard this for the very first time!! good one.
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poof! gone
Old 10-25-2010, 11:39 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pwd72s View Post
Touche'...right after I posted, I though the joke was obviously new to Loomis...
sorry.
It was a poke at the music sharing thread that I opted out of....
Old 10-25-2010, 11:41 AM
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Old 10-25-2010, 11:47 AM
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Here's a blond joke....



A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license. She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys could get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you."
Old 10-25-2010, 12:24 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Loomis View Post
Hey man, I'm pretty new around here, and did my due diligence prior to posting. I'll try it on my blonde wife and daughter, cuz they LOVE blonde jokes.
You are a brave man. I only tell "Brunette Man" jokes.
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Old 10-25-2010, 12:42 PM
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2 blondes are out walking when they see some tracks.
The first blonde says "I think those are deer tracks".
The second blonde says "I'm pretty sure those are buffalo tracks".
They were both still arguing when the train hit em.
Old 10-25-2010, 02:03 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Por_sha911 View Post
You are a brave man. I only tell "Brunette Man" jokes.
So I was squinting at the shampoo bottle in the shower the other day, trying to grab one that wasn't gonna make me smell like a grapefruit all day. Its name? Dumb Blonde.

I just unscrewed the cap on mine and ran more water into it. A few shakes and I'll get another week out of it.
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Old 10-25-2010, 02:31 PM
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two blondes walked into a bar......the brunette ducked.
Old 10-25-2010, 03:28 PM
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What did the blond say when she opened up a box of Cheerios?
Oh look, little donut seeds.

Blond #1: "Have you ever read Shakespeare?"
Blond #2: "No, who wrote it?"

Q: What do you call a blond with a high IQ?
A: A golden retriever.

Q: How do blonde braincells die?
A: Alone.

Q: How can you tell if a blonde's been using the computer?
A: There's white-out on the screen.

And finally....

Q: Why do Blondes have TGIF on their shoes?
A: Toes go in first.
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Old 10-25-2010, 07:06 PM
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Blond cop pulls over a blond driver. May I see your license, please? Driver, a little nervous hands the cop her make-up mirror instead of her license. Blond cop looks at it and says, "Oh sorry, I didn't know you were a cop!"

Old 10-25-2010, 07:45 PM
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