It could be worse. I get it every two years.

I actually stopped to read through his report and comments. He put me back on a every 10 year plan. Yeah!

And his orders say right in black and white, they pumped in air to inflate the colon. And it is expected for me to feel pressure and then relieve the pressure by passing the gas. So I am under doctors orders to fart. And he did not put a time limit on that! So I can let er rip and feel secure I am under doctor's orders. My wife says normal people assume that 24 hours is long enough. I figure he would put a time limit on it if that were true, and I refuse to be normal. So 10 years of doctor's order to relieve the pressure of the air they pumped in. I have no idea how much they pumped in, and it needs to be purged regularly and often.

oh yeah. The flatulence really is quite sincere in its urgency.

The colonoscope has only a couple maneuvers. There are two knobbed wheels that control cables to either deflect the tip of the scope up-down, or left-right. Each wheel controls one axis. Combine the two, and you can angle the scope in any direction (think drawing a circle or curved line on an Etch-a-Sketch). You can even turn the tip of the scope 180 on itself to "look backwards" on itself. To drive the scope, you typically use one hand to advance the scope into the colon (or pull it back out). Simultaneously you're deflecting the tip of the scope to steer it through the colon.

Then there's an irrigation feature. You can squirt a little saline. There's a suction.

And there's an insufflation. That's what causes the post-procedure gas. The colon is normally going to be pretty collapsed. In order to see anything, you have to fill the colon up with some gas a little bit like a balloon. There's air constantly pumped through the scope. There's a little relief hole at the control end where air escapes, unless the operator puts their thumb over the hole to obstruct it and allow the air to pass down the scope and exit out the tip (presumably inside the colon). Thumb over the hole, and the colon fills up with air. Release the thumb from over that hole, and no more filling of the colon. You want to blow up the colon to allow visualization. But at the same time, if you fill up the colon with too much air, that causes the patient pain, as intestines have stretch receptors in their walls. As you come out, you always manage to leave a little air in the colon, even if you try to suction, which is why patients are a bit farty afterwards.

How do you sanitize/clean the device, when it’s got all those tubes and crevices?

Soak it in a cleaning solution, like Cidex.

They had me awake in the room as the prepared to the room. An attractive nurse had me lay on my back first. Then she lowered the lights for the doctor to see the monitor better I presume. I commented I liked the romantic lighting, any candles? She said they sometimes need scented candles to cover the smell in there. No doubt it is a crappy smell. She then used the snaps on the top of the shoulder of my gown to open my gown to put the EKG pads. I said something like do you rip the cloths off of all patients or just the sexy old fat grey hair men? I am positive she has heard all the lines from men over the years.

The anesthesiologist said OK, time to put you under, and I said Oh boy the Michael Jackson juice! He said, that's it, but I will not leave the room on you. I was out, and no doubt then proved to them all I am a real ass.

I don't remember the doctor coming back in after I was coming around, evidently according to my wife, I asked him if they found any alien artifacts in there. It sounds like something I would say, but I have no memory of it.

just had my second colonoscopy this morning. exhausted from very little sleep last night and feeling i can't trust a fart for a while.

worst part is the taste of the prep. procedure itself is pretty damned relaxing especially after a night of pouring water out of your ass.

How can you be exhausted? That propofol sleep is the best I've ever had. I needed to check a calendar when I woke up from that.

oh it is indeed the most wonderful thing! i totally cannot judge MJ or Prince for falling for the charms of such stuff. if they'd let me i'd have stayed in that recovery bed all morning. i did in fact ask if we could get some breakfast and a tv wheeled in so i could relax till at least lunch time.

fell asleep at 3am, woke up at 5am.

I asked the probe pilot if he found my keys because that's where the Chief Sandwicher said I left them.

My turn last night / this morning. This is number 3 for me.
Didn't find anything of interest. No lost keys. No 10mm sockets.

As I'm waiting in the prep room for my turn, I found out I was too close to the procedure room. Some guy must have woke up during his procedure.

"Linden! Linden! Stop fighting us. You need to turn back on your side. You're having a colonoscopy!" I heard this several times, then "If you don't turn back on your side, we're going to have to stop and this all over again." The doc must have given up, as I could kind of hear them talking later, but I couldn't make out everything. Seems he's an alcoholic, and the booze has made him somewhat immune to the propofol.

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/8368555/

So I says, ‘Hey Doc, I ain’t out yet!’

‘Just give it a minute, you’ll do fine.

‘Yeah but I’m a drummer!’

‘A drummer! Holy ****.’

Soon after that it was lights out for Old Crowbob.

You know our membership is getting older when the colonoscopy thread is 25 pages.

…now let me tell you about robotic assist colon resections, and where they put the stapler….

Yeah, we should do an edit and say "Who HASN'T had a colonoscopy."

Certainly not my best few days of my life. Mind you, better than dying of something preventable.

Ask them about colo guard

I have had two, would agree on the prep being just cause for fitting seat belts to my toilet seat, but neither time did I get knocked out.

Fully awake through both of them, I got to see that indeed I am not a perfect ******* as some have stated and it was interesting to discuss what I was seeing on the monitor as the technician ran about 10m of black hose up my backside.

I asked the last tech if I should notify him if I feel something tickling my throat, but he apparently lost his sense of humour looking at a whole bunch of *******s every day.

D.

i asked the one nurse how she coped with seeing asses all day. she said after a while they all look the same.

Yikes. I once had a sigmoidoscope exam during which I was fully awake and that was torture.

Just did my second one and came back good for another 3 years.

I turn 70 next year, BTW.

Works for me!

:)