Online dating is humbling

[jcommin]

Originally Posted by 1990C4S

People are for more aware of their requirements and expectations after a failed marriage.

As a result of this fact most people on-line are very picky.

You need to be persistent and have thick skin to stay with it.

I have no interest in that world.

One more thing: the odds of you actually liking someone are about 10%, same for the other party. The odds you will both like each other are then about 1% as I see it.

I tried this - I did meet somone that lives in NY that I still communicate with. I like the lady allot: We were involved for about a year but there was no majic. She was into on line dating more than I was but I can agree:

I'm picky and she is.
Not everyone tells the truth.
You need to be very thick skinned.
I have been there, done that and have no further interest.

[cockerpunk]

Originally Posted by AFC-911

^ I have 10 good photos of me around the world, laughing with friends, playing guitar, CU selfie, and paddleboarding.

I'm not half assing anything.

Not to play the race card, but every woman is looking a white 6 foot tall guy making 100k. That could also be due to location. Florida's got a bunch of wackos, you know.

But then again, I can't blame them for having high standards and preferences.

its a numbers game, your going to get shot down ... alot.

if you are getting 1 message back in 5, your doing well. 1 in 10 is pretty typical.

[john70t]

I would expand...but it would continue into national media manipulation and the source of constant social discontent.
Then this thread would go into PARF.

Women today are being trained to no longer feel content with a regular, decent, stable guy in uniform.
Some 'ordinary joe'.

It is the unfortunate result of today's social conditioning.

[widgeon13]

I've been married for 44 years, just don't have any idea why I'm even reading this.

[Seahawk]

Originally Posted by widgeon13

I've been married for 44 years, just don't have any idea why I'm even reading this.

24 years here...I hope to get to 44 and beyond! Well done.

Like most, I have a few divorced friends that have ventured into the world of online dating.

One gets laid like he is in a women's prison with a handful of pardons. He says it can get a bit 'Play Misty for Me' at times, but he isn't looking to get married and that he's gotten better at separating the wheat from the crazy.

[911SauCy]

Originally Posted by AFC-911

It's an environment where everyone is looking for somebody who's perfect and will dismiss people whom they would normally consider if they met in person.

It's harsh, but everyone is very, very judgmental.

Sounds exactly like trying to apply for a position, online, at a large corporation.

The computer kicks you out but if you had coffee with the hiring manager you'd get the job...

[cockerpunk]

Originally Posted by john70t

I would expand...but it would continue into national media manipulation and the source of constant social discontent.
Then this thread would go into PARF.

Women today are being trained to no longer feel content with a regular, decent, stable guy in uniform.
Some 'ordinary joe'.

It is the unfortunate result of today's social conditioning.

.... at the risk of PARFing the thread i will weigh in here, because i think we actually agree on some level.

the problem is expectations. i'd describe myself as a feminist, and the girls i date as feminists. but if there is one serious fault to modern feminism, it is that it has taught women that they can do everything. and i don't mean to say that they cannot, just that life is a series of choices and priorities. opportunity cost applies regardless of gender. an example:

i run across women quite often who are great looking, strong career, athletic, smart, driven, they have hobbies, they travel, etc, and all of those things i find really attractive, and i'd love to date. but many times, they are so busy doing those things, that they no longer have time, or rather, they no longer prioritize the time, to build a relationship with a man. they are looking for a guy who will fit nicely in that 20 minutes between getting home from work, and heading out for yoga. they think that can happen, that is what they are looking for. they think men can do that, and even we can't. its not a gender issue, its simply a time prioritization issue. they think they can have a deep meaningful relationship, and a sweet job, and go out with friends or do yoga every night, and travel on the weekends, and in those small cracks in the schedule, this relationship is supposed to happen. and it simply can't. its not a gender issue, its just simply time. there are only so many hours in the day, and if you want to have a boyfriend, time must be spent on that.

i've run across at least a dozen of these in the last 3 years, even dated one for a while. its sad because, i think these are the most attractive women out there, but they have been lied to, and they lie to themselves.

i also think online dating attracts women that are like this, because you log on in that 15 minutes between work and yoga, and message the guys back, and then do it again the next day .... there is very little time commitment to "met people"

sad. i feel bad for them. but, what can you do? move on to someone who gets it. i hope this is just a mid-20s problem, but i suspect it will only get worse.

[vash]

Wait. Are you using a legit/real picture of yourself? And telling the truth in your profile?


Sent via Jedi mind trick.

[VincentVega]

I was using Vash's photo for a while... nothing.

[john70t]

Originally Posted by cockerpunk

sad. i feel bad for them. but, what can you do? move on to someone who gets it. i hope this is just a mid-20s problem, but i suspect it will only get worse.

From a male perspective:
It's the 'instant sales' bait followed by a tail-light warranty, and then more disappointment for both parties.
-Women expect a productive subservient product to follow them around.
-Men expect somewhat the same.
Equalization of the sexes.

Men share much of the blame, but a true relationship requires a bit of dedication and consideration on both sides.
In modern two-earner families there is always going to be a trade-off over time.
Roles will always become reversed, and each must be willing to share responsibility without abusing it.

These days we are taught that being cut-throat is normalized behavior.
Like a NY stock trader.
It is a culture which encourages chaos within the family unit, disrespect upon others less fortunate, and should be considered foreign and unwanted.

[vash]

Originally Posted by VincentVega

I was using Vash's photo for a while... nothing.

Haha. Wsit ! Wut?


Sent via Jedi mind trick.

[rwest]

I used Vash's picture as well, but did great.

I've done the online thing on and off, I'm 46, and found lots of heavy women who hid it well in their photos. The one thing I found real demoralizing was the lack of a response after I've sent an email, I know some women get lots of emails, but on some sites it's a simple matter of a "click" to send a thanks but no thanks reply- I reply to everyone that sends me one, just seems polite.


Several things that I think really help your chances are to have very up to date pictures in different types of clothes- add pictures often and put dates on them. Women seem to be extremely sensitive to grammar and spelling, at least as they get a bit older; I've literally seen several profiles that state that they won't date a guy if he doesn't know the difference between "they're, there and their." Also watch "your" and "you're"

Good luck.

[1990C4S]

Originally Posted by rwest

The one thing I found real demoralizing was the lack of a response after I've sent an email, I know some women get lots of emails, but on some sites it's a simple matter of a "click" to send a thanks but no thanks reply- I reply to everyone that sends me one, just seems polite.

It's the internet, people don't see the need to be polite.

Dress decently, write something humorous, make it grammatically correct.

[recycled sixtie]

I was telling my wife about this thread and she said that women are looking for the $$$$$$$$ so watch out!

As you get older and your net worth is greater then you have more to lose.

If you meet a woman who has nothing and you have nothing and you work together to make a go of it, then I think this kind of relationship has more chance of success.

Good luck out there . Don't take chances . It is better to be single and lonely than being unhappily married . You can be lonely in this situation too.

Cheers, Guy.

[billybek]

Your results can vary greatly with the site you are "shopping" on!

When I started dating again in my early 40s I tried a few different sites and one was completely a means of hooking up.

I met my wife after doing the internet dating thing for a month or two.
I still feel like I lucked out!
We have a 6 year old boy and separate and somewhat similar careers.

There are a lot of crazy people out there that are desperate for a relationship because they cannot stand to be alone with themselves. Some looking for someone to support them.
Like I said I lucked out and I know it.

[sc_rufctr]

Originally Posted by sammyg2

Just lick your eyebrows while they take your profile picture.


Serial, the world is full of superficial or shallow people.

You should feel blessed that many of these people are clicking past your profile so they can go ruin someone else's life. It's like a filter that works in your favor and that'll help you end up with a real person.

Besides, it's all an exercise til ya find the right one anyhow and she's already been picked out for you.
You just gotta kill the time til then. Keep the faith brother.

this, This and THIS...

When I first got divorced at 37 I started online dating. I did that for about 6 years.
I met some great ladies and had some fun but generally I found most women on the dating site were being "unrealistic" to say the least. Lots of damaged people out there regardless of age group.

It's just numbers. I found I'd have to contact around about 50 ladies before finding someone I would click with and even then nothing was certain.

So grow a thick skin and keep going.

FWIW... I'm not on the dating sites anymore. I got some scars but my skin stayed thin.
Most of my new contacts and socializing have been through Facebook. Dumb as that may sound it really is a good way to get to know a lady before going for that first date.

[Joe Bob]

[E38Driver]

This is a good read about the online dating scene. Married for 32 years so I have no idea about the dating scene.
Adventures in Online Dating - The Hull Truth - Boating and Fishing Forum

There is some funny stuff there.

Dave

[2porscheguy]

Originally Posted by Joe Bob

That's some talent she has there!

Anybody you know?

[Heel n Toe]

Originally Posted by AFC-911

Not to play the race card, but every woman is looking a white 6 foot tall guy...

I may not be very accurate at reading between the lines here, but if I am, maybe this would be something you might want to check out... I saw an ad for it on TV recently:

BlackPeopleMeet.com - Black Dating Network for Black Singles

Good luck on your search. I did a little searching on a few sites after my first wife died. Met a couple of really sharp cookies, but ended up with a woman I knew in real life.

Statistic: only one in six online "relationships" survives the first face-to-face meeting. As you can imagine, there are a lot of reasons for that statistic.

And that's just the first meeting... I don't know statistics beyond that.