Online dating is humbling

[AFC-911]

Bill, I can't put any more lies. I've already added an inch to my height!

Originally Posted by fintstone

If you want to do well as a single today (have high standards and want to meet beautiful, interesting women), you need to be in shape. If you are single, what else do you have to do in your free time but work out? Where do you eat, at a donut shop? They can get plenty of chubby, middle-aged men.

Damn! lol.

Point taken, Here's a quick rewrite...How's this?


Some things I like: The beach, live music, spontaneous travel...

Humor is a big part of my life. I can be sarcastic, quirky and never afraid to make a fool of myself.

I've been in living in Florida for 21 years now, so I'm as close to a local as you'll get aside from those very rare natives.

I always enjoy learning new things. This year, I'm learning how to salsa. For other styles of music I'm not accustomed to, I'll just spell my name in the air with my ass. It doesn't work for country line dancing, though.

I like silly puns. The stupider, the better.

[fintstone]

Originally Posted by AFC-911

Bill, I can't put any more lies. I've already added an inch to my height!



Damn! lol.

Point taken, Here's a quick rewrite...How's this?


Some things I like: The beach, live music, spontaneous travel...

Humor is a big part of my life. I can be sarcastic, quirky and never afraid to make a fool of myself.

I've been in living in Florida for 21 years now, so I'm as close to a local as you'll get aside from those very rare natives.

I always enjoy learning new things. This year, I'm learning how to salsa. For other styles of music I'm not accustomed to, I'll just spell my name in the air with my ass. It doesn't work for country line dancing, though.

I like silly puns. The stupider, the better.

You should be killing the women. Get a little ripped and lose the facial hair and you look like the hearthtrob, Taylor Lautner (werewolf dude) in the movie Twilight that the women swoon for. No my type...but young women go crazy for him.

Maybe mention that you have been told that you look like him...get them thinking.

Drop the bit about making a fool of yourself. Be serious...but women do like to dance. Post that you are learning, but really need the right partner (since it is such a sensual dance).

[motion]

You need to go on the offense. Get cocky.

[RANDY P]

Originally Posted by motion

You need to go on the offense. Get cocky.

Exactly. "fun and friendly" isn't it.

Cocky and somewhat FOS is. They get off on it.

rjp

[RANDY P]

Originally Posted by TimT

So put in a few key words like "god fearing" and it will get you hits from some pinays?

Siempre naman...

"I DIRBE A BAN! AND EAT PANCIT! SAN MIGUEL NA IMAS!"

rjp

[fintstone]

Yes...unless her profile says desperate, low confidence would be a definite no for most. If you seem too desperate, it will appear that you have nothing to offer.

You are not desperate, you are just using technology to find the perfect woman (which you certainly deserve).

[RANDY P]

Stick a bunch of pics with you and other women on there.....Go out and meet a not-so-hot chick somewhere, hit on her friends. Get yours.

Be somewhat impatient and occasionally rude. Done deal.

rjp

[Dueller]

Since I asked for your profile copy and since you're brave enough to post it guess I need to at least offer my comments.

First nix the"j/k....lol...etc". If they don't know it's a joke they probably won't get your humor anyway. And self depreciating humor is usually the best. Just without the lols.

Chocolate truffle? Maybe the two of you can share a bag when your menstrual cycles synchronize. Just saying.

You're a good looking kid. But the pic of the guys in the Sombrero is confusing. I was able to eliminate one of the guys as not you. The one in the pic that I think was you makes you look like a 14 yo waiter photo bombing some members of the Bandito s bike gang. Nix it for a variety of reasons.

Like new experiences? Fine. Put something in there about willing to try some of their interests but if you really don't like it it's not fatal if you two don't share every interest. In other words, you respect their independence but expect them to respect yours.

Well, with the exception of chocolate truffles.

Good luck. You're getting some decent advice in here.

[Dueller]

Oh yeah. The elephant in the room that seems to bug you...being Asian and height. Say something like...as you see I'm Asian American but don't hold it against me. I only scored 490 in the math section on my SAT.

As far as height maybe something like ....I was drafted by the Knicks but didnt make the team due to YAO having a higher vertical leap. Well that's all i could figure out.

You get the idea.

[Don Ro]

Originally Posted by nostatic

Truffles?

Other than that it reads like probably 90% of the other profiles.

Online dating is a game - the rules are different than for analog dating, though at some point they have to merge.

I met my wife a number of years ago on match.com, and had dated online for a year or two before that. Took me awhile to understand the dynamic and how to make it work. I evolved a few rules to make the game less annoying.

1. don't wink, poke, or otherwise do some half-assed communication. If you want to meet them, then write them directly.

2. DO NOT engage in a prolonged email/chat conversation. You need to meet in person by the 2nd or 3rd message. Trust me on this. Very easy to fall into a "digital relationship" and that likely won't end well.

3. When you meet, have an out. Make it low risk - coffee or tea at a neutral location and beforehand indicate that you have to be somewhere else afterwards. If you really hit it off you can extend it, but controlling expectations is key.

As for the profile, take a look at other *male* profiles and see what other guys are saying. Interesting to gauge the competition.

Don't BS. If you really do love sunsets, then you can say that but everyone says they love dog, sunsets, walks on the beach, etc. You have to differentiate yourself. That said, I never waited for women to contact me as most won't. Online dating is a game, and if you're serious, it also is a job. Spend the time searching for someone who is interesting and write them. And expect not to get a reply. I think I averaged about a 10% "hit" rate. A significant percentage of the women online are not interested in a relationship. They want attention. Some other percentage wants a free meal - and some attention. A small number actually are looking for a serious relationship. And that's ok. If you're looking for something casual, then be upfront about that. There are women there who want that. If you want serious, be up front about that. But expect a lot of rejection and a spectrum of people that you actually meet. Just don't expect that everyone is there for the same reason as you.

I met a few whackos, but mostly they were sane, fun, and interesting. Just a question of the deeper fit. And I ended up with a few longish-term relationships, and finally found "the one" so it can work. But you have to respect and understand the process.

This is good advice.
I was on Match for a few months and met my fiance there.
I'd add this: Depending on what you're looking for - as in, if you're looking for a GOOD woman - don't write anything in your profile that's not true...because a good woman values authenticity.
I could say much more but I'm feeling lazy this morning.

[Dueller]

Had my gf read your profile. Her response....seems like a nice guy a little too in touch with his feminine side. She like photo with guitar and snow board.

BTW...met her online

[widebody911]