PPOT Father/Husbands- Did you want to have get married/have kids?

[MongooseGA]

Originally Posted by Moses

Time. It's a young woman's most precious resource. And you've decided to waste more of hers. She wants a family. You've derailed her life for six years already and now you're ready to take even more of what she cannot afford to give.

A man makes decisions. A man would commit and have a family or go his own way. You're a child.

Thank you for your thoughts.

While I'd hardly consider our relationship a derailment, I can understand how you'd come to that. I'm not forcing her into anything, nor is she forcing me. I knew she wanted a family, but she'd also told me that being together was more important. Because of this, I never put much thought into it. (In the same respect, there were things I have wanted throughout our time together, but she was more important)

Considering her recent revelation about needing to have kids, I'm actually letting myself put thought into it.

You're certainly entitled to your own opinion of me, and I'm not offended by it. I have decided that it's not so much a cut and dry case and requires more than a black and white perspective from here out.

[willtel]

I haven't read the entire thread to see if this was referenced but I made a similar thread here a few years ago: http://forums.pelicanparts.com/off-topic-discussions/504950-any-reluctant-fathers-out-there.html

My daughter is now three and I have not had any regrets.

[jhynesrockmtn]

I was married for many years to someone who is still very much a friend and the mother of my amazing children. We married too young, blah, blah..... I have learned in the last several years while dating that most women need a decision from you, something cut and dry. Otherwise they will hang in there, hoping for change and/or commitment from you. If something significant is going to make the relationship difficult down the road, end it. If you are truly open to the idea of a family, explore it in rapid fashion and then commit and do right by her.

[onewhippedpuppy]

Originally Posted by jhynesrockmtn

I was married for many years to someone who is still very much a friend and the mother of my amazing children. We married too young, blah, blah..... I have learned in the last several years while dating that most women need a decision from you, something cut and dry. Otherwise they will hang in there, hoping for change and/or commitment from you. If something significant is going to make the relationship difficult down the road, end it. If you are truly open to the idea of a family, explore it in rapid fashion and then commit and do right by her.

Yup, a younger sister in law is in this boat right now. She is dating a guy that just isn't ready to settle down. He moved away to TX, didn't invite her to come along. He wants to work abroad, but not bring her. He's a good dude and is forthcoming with all of his plans (that don't include her), but she still talks about them getting married. I considered anonymously sending her a copy of "He's Not That Into You".

I agree that coming to terms with yourself and what you want out of life is the right thing to do, and be honest with her.

[widebody911]