Desperation - any doctors willing to comment

[Iciclehead]

Originally Posted by tabs

Ahhh so you see sloth everywhere, want to jump in to fix it, perhaps on a case by case basis, but you are trying to fix something that is ultimately beyond your control. The tide, the current is driving the situation to evermore sloth. Your jousting with windmills.

Amen.

[brock911]

Dennis, you can and will win this fight, after all you're Canadian. Never give up, ever!
Get better we need more people like you around.
Mike

[Hugh R]

Both my parents were from Victoria. I'm a USA "anchor baby". Tough bunch of folks.

[cstreit]

Dennis,

Nothing like a long health issue and some tough times to make life seems like it sucks. ..but it doesn't. Mate - you can do it!

[turn9]

Dennis,

Glad to see you have taken action!

These situations can be overwhelming, complex and very technical. I would be happy to chat with you if you wish. Please PM me with your phone number and I'll call you over the w/e.

T9

[M.D. Holloway]

ciclehead...dude...time to dig down and grab a handful of shyt and through it at the world!

Pain sucks but there are good drugs for that. As for the wife...there are very talented service providers in Canada that can make you feel like a demi-God for awhile.

Its time to live life now more then ever and frankly I'm not so sure your at deaths door yet but the upside as strange as it may sound is that you may be looking at something that may do you in. That's powerful stuff man, powerful! I would rather see the lion that's chasing me ... its better than the snake in the grass.

Own that B!T CH! Make it yours if is trying to do you in but remember one thing when times suck and it just hurts too much...


You got us

[Noah930]

Originally Posted by M.D. Holloway

You got us

Well, if that doesn't push him over the edge to end it all, I don't know what will. He's got a bunch of paunchy, balding, middle-aged dudes typing away in their basements in their underwear and that's supposed to give hm a reason to live?! Jeebsus.

[M.D. Holloway]

Hey! I take offense to that! I don't have a basement!!!

[Laneco]

Originally Posted by Noah930

Well, if that doesn't push him over the edge to end it all, I don't know what will. He's got a bunch of paunchy, balding, middle-aged dudes typing away in their basements in their underwear and that's supposed to give hm a reason to live?! Jeebsus.

Haha - not all of us are dudes nor do we all have basements.

Now the posting in the underwear thing - OK, you got me there!!!


angela

[nota]

get a g/f

[E38Driver]

Don't have a basement and Don't wear underwear. ( I know TMI)

Dave

[jyl]

Not a doctor. But I don't understand the rationale for watchful waiting on the 6 cm lung growth. If removal is not dangerous, what is the reason not to remove it?

[Noah930]

Every surgery has its dangers--particularly when you have to crack someone's chest open to take out part of a vital organ. Not to mention the pain/suffering and financial cost. Surgeons don'tlike to do unnecessary surgery.

[pavulon]

Originally Posted by Iciclehead

...I am just tired....been corporately fixing and fighting so long, not so much for reasons of control but more just my internal disgust at seeing things done poorly and wastefully. ...
Dennis

The above on top of your personal situation is THE recipe to get yourself scapegoated. Seriously.

Good luck to you. These are some tough times. Appreciate this minute, this hour, today. Yesterday is done and won't change. Tomorrow isn't here. Go do something enjoyable whenever you can. Bring your wife too.

[Chocaholic]

Another thought to consider after reading through the whole thread: compartmentalize. Identify challenges, prioritize, outline a plan for each, execute. I say it because it may be easier on you to manage your health issues first. Then, deal with marriage, work issues rather than trying to resolve all at once.

Your call but I tend to think that's how I'd approach things in your shoes. Just offered as food for thought.

Oh, and take T9 up on his offer for a chat. I suspect you'll get some knowledgeable/factual advice to consider. Nice of him to offer. Pelican is amazing.

[M.D. Holloway]

^^^This^^^ sage advice

[Seahawk]

I have been having a bit of an internal struggle on whether or not to share my thoughts on this. I greatly admire your perspective and viewpoints, Dennis, and I would hate to come off as an oaf.

Perspective is, however, a critical component in dealing with adversity, perhaps second only to examples of virtuous and exemplary behaviors in the face of trouble and pain. So:

My son lost all sight in his left eye late this summer. He had an accident on the farm, the details of which are not important. It was an accident, a million to one occurrence. No one is to blame. He received the best care possible at Johns Hopkins but saving the eye was not possible.

Jack was to be a senior at the Virginia Military Institute. His hope and dreams were centered on commissioning this coming Spring as an Army 2LT and pursing the very difficult goal of Special Ops. He was on an Army ROTC Scholarship.

He is universally liked and admired, a very special young man with a great sense of humor and ethic. His senior enlisted advisers at VMI are among his biggest fans.

Everyone was devastated by the news because they knew Jack lost more than an eye, he lost the opportunity to pursue his life-long dream. He is 20 years old.

My wife and I immediately began to put plans in place to ensure not only his physical well-being, but to also attend to the inevitable mental stress Jack might suffer.

In the quiet funny ones, however, there is great strength. His Doctors pulled me aside two days after the accident and told me they have never had the occasion to deal with a better young man: "His attitude is incredible, he faces every surgery with grace and humor."

As the next few weeks went by my wife and I alternated days at home. Jack had to stay quiet and relax without any physical stress. While there was no hope of restoring his eye-sight in his left eye, they wanted to save the "globe". He was in a good deal of pain but managing.

On my second shift home, Jack came into my home office and asked me what I was doing, why I was home. I have always been honest with Jack so I told him: Just being here for you, must be tough on you and we want to make sure you get the support you need...words to that affect.

It got very humbling from here on out. He told me then that he knows he lost a great opportunity, but that there will be others, that is goal now is to rejoin his Brother Rats at VMI and graduate with his class.

"I lost a spare", he told me, "but I have a big life ahead of me. Just a different one than before." Those words exactly.

My wife and I both went back to work.

After his last surgery he was cleared for physical activity and I got him back up to speed driving (legal in all 50 States). Another very important goal for him was that he drive himself back to school. We got him all the right gear and helped him prepare.

There have been minor dips but he is back at VMI in a leadership role his senior year and will graduate on time. He drove himself. His room mates kid him incessantly and he often wears an eye patch to scare the Rats (freshmen) As a senior he gets his own Rat, which his roommates have dubbed the "Seeing Eye Rat", complete with a leash.

So there it is Dennis. Take for the above what you will. You have a big life ahead of you, just different than before. Ask Jack, he'll tell you.

[rammstein]

I feel like there is a lot going on here. The most pressing thing, from what I can tell, is that you are feeling emotionally bankrupt. The lack of affection from the wife cannot possibly be good for you in this state. If it has been months since intimacy, is it safe to say she'd understand you looking elsewhere? I dunno, I feel like some good sex could really do you some good.

[robertocravallo]

Very cool story and one hell of a "kid"!

[Rikao4]

Jack is a branch from a strong tree..
his roots are amazing..

Rika