After 21 years... she's leaving

[bivenator]

Aww fuuudge, hated to read that from you Lee. So very sorry that things have reached this point. My thoughts are with you and your kids and soon to be ex. It is so difficult for all parties. I too am a member of the club that no one wants to join.

Best of luck.

[jcommin]

I never like to hear news like this. I was married for almost 25 yrs - was separated from 2006 finally divorced in 2010. That period was some of the darkest days of my life. Give yourself time to grieve and hopefully you won't beat yourself too much.

Surround yourself with those who care about you, focus on good stuff and be strong. By all means be good to yourself - I'm sorry.

[Vipergrün]

Sad to hear :^( Time to take care of you! Craig speaks wisdom, which I should be following myself. Better days ahead for you. Cherish this time with your kids.

[nostatic]

been there, done that (x2).

This too shall pass. It can and will be much better down the road.

[RedBaron]

Sorry to hear that man. I've been reading your posts for years - you seem like a great guy. You'll get through this.

[Targa Me]

Sorry to hear that Lee.
Good luck to you.
Keep your head on straight. Don't do anything you may regret later.
Things will get better. Promise.

[speeder]

Sorry to hear, you're one of the good guys around here. Stay strong and I hope that against the odds, you can have a good summer somehow.

[GWN7]

Sorry to hear this Lee. Things will get better.

The only advise I will offer is now the love is gone the relationship is only about the money. If you fight the lawyers make out. Try and get the division of the spoils over and done with as fast as possible.

take care of yourself

[Baz]

Sorry to hear this Lee but at least she was up front with you and now you can have a clean break.

There is a lot of good advice so far in the thread so that will help.

More than anything you should know that as a community you have our friendship and support.

Of course, I have to offer my unsolicited advice moving forward....it's OK to date - just don't let 'em move in!

Take care!

[Jim Richards]

Lee, I'm sorry to hear this but things will get better before you know it. I wish you all the best.

[Moses]

Sorry to hear your bad news. But you will find the RIGHT one in time.

Interestingly, 2/3 of divorces in California are initiated by women. But post-divorce measures of happiness give the edge to men. By a large margin.

Employed, kind, single men are unicorns in the dating world. It's way too early to be mentioning this, but your options will be limitless.

[Oh Haha]

Sorry Pelican brother.

Been there, done that but came out much better for it. It won't be easy but you WILL make it.

Take care.

[MBAtarga]

As others have said I'm sorry to hear this. I hope things settle out for you and you find a gal that appreciates you for life.

[sand_man]

I'm sorry for the pain this must be causing you. I went through this, but I was the one who finally had enough. In the damn near twenty years we were together, there were some good times, overshadowed by a lot of mental abuse. With two kids that I loved so dearly, I tried my best to be the glue and keep it going. When I lost my job during the 2008 economic collapse, I had a lot of time to reflect on all of the baggage I had been sweeping under the carpet. I never came out of it. And I realized that beyond being a good father, all the love I had to share with someone else was being wasted and taken for granted. I wish I had made better life partner decisions. I wish I hadn’t stayed in it so long. I wish I hadn’t alienated my family and friends to make it work. I wish…

As others pointed out, this too shall pass. I pretty much lost it all to get out of it. But I’m still close to my kids and we make it work. I have been able to spend more time with my family back in FL. And I’ve been in a long term relationship with someone I so dearly love…someone who also came out of a crappy marriage. Someone who gets me, respects me, and loves me unconditionally. In the words of one of my idols, “I lost everything I had, now I’m startin’ over from scratch…”

[rusnak]

Wow, you guys are almost making me want to get married and divorced.

Unfortunately, this sort of thing is something that many of us have to live through. Better days, and happiness lie ahead for you if you'll let it happen again.

[Shadetree930]

Originally Posted by Moses

Employed, kind, single men are unicorns in the dating world. It's way too early to be mentioning this, but your options will be limitless.

^^^^ Indeed.

[pwd72s]

Sorry to hear this...as others have pointed out, life will get better. Maqybe we are given the tough times in order to appreciate the good times more?

[McLovin]

Hey man, sorry to hear about that. On the things of "toughest to deal with" this is way, way up there. But you'll get through it!

You're a good guy. Take and stay on the high road through this. If you are religious, lean on God, you'll be amazed that you can come out of these trials better than you went in.

[john70t]

Sorry to hear that Lee.
If a relationship is not complimentary and positive to both partners there is just no faking it. People change. Time to move on and re-invent oneself. The best revenge is success. There is much more to you than just this and here and now. You will eventually have a lot more to give to the right person out there and be better for it.

I'm recently getting over a 10 year which was one-sided for most of it. She became a pure hostile liability towards the end. I thought I tried everything but it was like talking to a wall. That's the way we are. Should have separated sooner because I became a person I didn't like, and wasted a lot of my own time on this earth. It's never easy but there is hope of that small reward again. Gotta stop and smell the roses sometimes.

[GH85Carrera]

Sorry to hear about it Lee.

Good luck for the upcoming challenges.