RIP Anthony Bourdain

[motion]

Originally Posted by javadog

I'm sitting in a Vietnamese restaurant, and eating a bowl of noodles and thinking about Tony. I still can't wrap my head around the fact that he's gone...

One of Tony's all-time great quotes, IMHO:

(paraphrasing) My happy place is sitting in a tiny plastic chair on the sidewalk in Asia eating street food.

How's that for unpretentious! That quote helped give me strength to explore the rougher parts of Asia.

[speeder]

I have to confess hear that I was not overly familiar with him because I don’t watch TV and I don’t cook. Of course I was aware of him but never really knew about the different shows that he had done until reading about them in the last couple days. I once read an interview with him about running a restaurant that somehow left a bad taste in my mouth.

Since he has died and reading various articles about him and watching some videos, I not only realize how wrong I had been about him but really regret not tuning in to his shows over the years. He really was a great traveler and completely unpretentious. Some of the remembrances here are really good.

The world did lose an interesting and entertaining guy who was very generous in wanting to share his explorations with the rest of us.

[Don Ro]

You spoke for me.
Been watching and enjoying his CNN marathon. Always saw the listing when cruising DTV guide but passed him by in favor of other viewing.
After a few showings it's easy to view his nature.
He's given to spontaneous self-expression...an unguarded openness.
Living out loud and letting the chips fall where they may.

[RANDY P]

Philippines episode: "I told my daughter that Ronald McDonald has been implicated in kidnapping of several young kids...."

HAHAHAHA!- good way to keep the kid away from McDonalds.

rjp

[Jims5543]

Originally Posted by motion

One of Tony's all-time great quotes, IMHO:

(paraphrasing) My happy place is sitting in a tiny plastic chair on the sidewalk in Asia eating street food.

How's that for unpretentious! That quote helped give me strength to explore the rougher parts of Asia.

I have not followed Anthony in years. He may have unwittingly influenced me. When we travel to new places we always tap into the local scene. I HATE the touristy places and try very hard to avoid them at all costs.

We usually end up talking to locals, best first person to meet is the front desk worker of the hotel we are checking into.

We just got back from a long weekend in NYC, yes we hit some sights tourists hit, we had our 15 y/o in tow.

I was honestly bummed out the stupid "Night at the Museum" movies came out. The Museum of Natural History USED to be a forgotten gem, 15 years ago you could go there and it was empty.

Now it is packed and certain obscure pieces are roped off so the sheeple can get pictures with them. Sucks!

I went for the first time since the movies and will never return.


Did hit the Guggenheim and it was empty and the picasso exhibit along with the "One hand Clapping" exhibit made the visit worth it.



The exhibit was about a Japanese man that masturbated all the time. It was hysterical to watch all the pretentious POS elitists watch and try not to react.


This guy to the left of my picture is watching it, he is like... WTF! As I was at first then quickly turned my attention to the pretentious people around me and started to die laughing.


My 15 y/o figured out fast and proclaimed, I am out of here... he exited. I looked at my wife and started to LOL!! Then left with him...



The best food we ate all weekend was at counters in little corners of the city Tourists do not go to.

Like a hole it the wall crap hole Pizza joint that locals told me was the best int he area.

They were right, how I missed proper NYC pizza.... who needs a fancy sit down when you can do a walk up counter joint and have righteous counter service pizza in minutes..


We discovered the old Nabisco Oreo factory that has sat defunct for decades in the meat packing district. It is now a local marketplace full of restaurants, bakeries and local arts and crafts. 2 places in particular we found, a noodle place making the noodles to order and a little beer joint serving up local drafts. Heaven.....

We got the noodles, they were fantastic.... The beer was called 5 boroughs
IPA, I was a happy man. Counter food at its finest.... we had to stand at a tabletop with no seat. Did not care...


My wife wanted a acai bowl for breakfast one morning, I was not about that, my son and I were intent on NYC style BAC on a Kaiser, we found them.



Almost 100 year old how can you go wrong?


We took our counter food across the street in the rain to Madison Park where we found refuge under umbrellas with the Flatiron Building in the background and close to the subway entrance we needed..


As you can tell my 15 y/o loves pictures and my wife, she is amazing, she is down for anything. Love her to pieces. This is us eating in a park near our subway station.



What a view while eating breakfast...



My friends go places then tell me AFTER they go, some places I know well, like Key West, the biggest tourist trap there is. Except, I have tapped into the local scene and know where the locals go to drink and eat. I avoid Duval at all costs and waterfront?? Over rated.. I go to the places the ship captains and workers hit after hours..

Are there exceptions? Sure!! you need to hit Pepe's because that is where HST went when he lived in KW...


Knowing the history is key and working your way into the local scene is paramount.


I hate tourist traps. I hate chains. AB rang true, there is an entire other side to cities towns regions that you need to explore, the lazy go to the chains and the joints on the beaten paths. Finding the gems off the beaten path? That takes personality and compassion and getting people to let their guard down... that means not being a pretentious prick. Some folks can turn that off others cannot.

When we left our hotel (Four Points Sheraton) in Chelsea, we made the counter staffs day. We handed them our three seven day unlimited subway passes for them to use. The joy in their faces, getting 3 free days of subway... was worth the entire effing trip.


Side note...

The bartender in the hotel bar was from Belfast Ireland. He was 6 moths into his 12 month work visa then he had to go home.

Hotel Bar:


He had worked all over the world on work visa's, I was envious of him. He had seen way more than I.

I am working my ass off to enjoy the world. He is keeping it simple and enjoying it.

I asked him why he just did not say eff it and just ignore the visa like all the Mexicans.. I was being facetious, he replied, he wanted to come back and that was a sure fire way to stop that from happening.

He loved our country. I do too,, Made me think, why would I want to wander far from it. So much of it I have not seen.

[Jims5543]

PS - of you ever drive from Miami to the Keys, if you do not stop at Alabama Jacks, sit on the plastic chairs in the crappy restaurant and eat the great food, you really did not pass into the Keys.

You are just another tourist.

[Crowbob]

Some things are just not understandable and some questions will never be answered, I guess.

Here we have AB who was celebrated as a communicator and a sharer and an educator and an entertainer who silently and privately chooses to leave us questioning and with sorrow.

I can't help but think that maybe we were wrong about him.

[pavulon]

Originally Posted by Crowbob

I can't help but think that maybe we were wrong about him.

Very few people truly know themselves. Those that do find it really difficult to sustain because people are always changing which makes it nearly impossible for others to fully know someone.

[Crowbob]

I just can't fathom a guy like AB hanging himself.

He presents a different question than simply the question of suicide. Suicide I sorta understand in certain circumstances. Despair, illness, whatever. I can see where sometimes suicide is actually the reasonable course.

But this man appeared to lust for life. He was living his dream, supposedly. OK. So he changed over time. Perhaps he grew weary of the hassles, the travels, the food, even.

Were he as open and communicative and unpretentious as he let on, why didn't he seek help? Maybe he did, who knows? There does not seem to be evidence of it.

Maybe AB was not so genuine a person as he let on. Maybe he got tired of playing the part of AB and had to finally come to grips with the ruse. Maybe he discovered he actually hated people because they were so easily hoodwinked. Maybe his life was a sick joke and he finally got the punchline.

Since he passed I, like speeder, did some research.

I'm not interested anymore, though. I'm thinking maybe he was a fraud. Maybe to him his life was nothing but a facade and the people in it mere props.

Maybe this gregarious and fun-loving, intelligent and warm explorer, traveler and writer was nothing but a sick ****.

I choose to no longer dwell on it.

I have weeds to pull.

[Don Ro]

"I have weeds to pull."
~~~~~~~~
And arguments to make.

[Don Ro]

"...why didn't he seek help?"
~~~~~~~~~~
There's a particular personality structure that will only seek "help" when the courts dictate so.
I don't know about this guy, obviously not, but there it is.

[RANDY P]

Artists do all kinds of weird and erratic things- history is full of artists who just lost it one day. One thing seems to be apparent and that's he decided to do this at the drop of a hat.

I imagine, to operate on his level and with that much exposure has to be tough on your mind. You can never just, be. Obviously he was lonely as well- he talked about it routinely.

EDIT: Just like a trained seal or a circus bear- everyone poking and prodding you, daily. Your life isn't your own.


rjp

[motion]

Originally Posted by Crowbob

I just can't fathom a guy like AB hanging himself.

He presents a different question than simply the question of suicide. Suicide I sorta understand in certain circumstances. Despair, illness, whatever. I can see where sometimes suicide is actually the reasonable course.

But this man appeared to lust for life. He was living his dream, supposedly. OK. So he changed over time. Perhaps he grew weary of the hassles, the travels, the food, even.

Were he as open and communicative and unpretentious as he let on, why didn't he seek help? Maybe he did, who knows? There does not seem to be evidence of it.

Maybe AB was not so genuine a person as he let on. Maybe he got tired of playing the part of AB and had to finally come to grips with the ruse. Maybe he discovered he actually hated people because they were so easily hoodwinked. Maybe his life was a sick joke and he finally got the punchline.

Since he passed I, like speeder, did some research.

I'm not interested anymore, though. I'm thinking maybe he was a fraud. Maybe to him his life was nothing but a facade and the people in it mere props.

Maybe this gregarious and fun-loving, intelligent and warm explorer, traveler and writer was nothing but a sick ****.

I choose to no longer dwell on it.

I have weeds to pull.

Hey Crowbob, you sound like a real *********, you know?

But.... you may be partly right. I think Tony barely tolerated people, as you say. There's no place on earth for people like that. Sure, maybe some gutter or obscure underbelly, where he liked to dwell, but you can't do that forever. I think Tony was a more evolved version of us. Closely listen to some of the wordplay in his episodes.

I always like to joke with my wife, who is always researching on the internet... "did you get to the end of the internet yet?".

I think Tony got to the end of humanity.

[motion]

^^^^ Jim, that is an epic post! Good stuff. I can see how you really appreciate getting off the path a little bit.

[speeder]

I don’t personally think that he was a fraud or “got to the end of humanity” or anything like that. He was the type who, if he was tired of traveling, would have just stopped doing it. He had money, he could do whatever he wanted and I don’t think that he was living for anyone else.

Suicide can be broken down into two easy categories. The first would be the well thought-out and planned variety of someone who was deeply unhappy or terminally ill and in pain, etc. This person plans it out or at least thinks about it for a long time.

The second and much more common type is impulsive and sudden. It may be someone who has suffered from depression off and on for a long time but the act of suicide is the result of one really bad day or terrible night. Girlfriend or wife leaves you, child custody fight lost, etc. pushes someone over the edge. It only takes a minute or less if you have a gun to carry it out. All it takes is a moment when your brain, “goes there.”

People who shoot themselves at the end of police chases or stand-offs. Jump off tall buildings when they “seemed fine at dinner the night before,” just an impulse not denied. Chris Cornell did it one bad night. He had everything to live for.

Even though AB and CC did not use guns, the majority of suicides in the USA are by gunshot and the reason guns are considered a public health issue is because someone can kill them self so quickly and impulsively w a gun. It’s usually an impulsive, irrational, feelings based act.

[javadog]

Originally Posted by motion

Hey Crowbob, you sound like a real *********, you know

No kidding. What a tasteless post.

Those of us that don't suffer from depression and anxiety will never "get" suicide. It can be explained to you, like speeder did, but it won't really make any sense, as some of us just don't have that problem and can't understand it in a way that those that do suffer with it can relate to.

There are people out there that are terribly unhappy. Whether it's a result of physiological or chemical problems in their brains, or psychological/sociological issues, they often self-medicate to numb the pain. Drugs, alcohol, other diversions... they do what makes sense to them. Sadly, many of them reach a point, or some crisis occurs, where their usual (abnormal) coping mechanisms are not sufficient and they choose suicide. It's not something that most of us can relate to, thankfully, but it is a very real problem for them.

I don't know why Tony killed himself. My guess is that is had to do with his relationship with Asia, who he probably needed as a "crutch" to make his continued existence bearable. A fight, a betrayal, who knows? I think it was something in the nature of a crisis, at least in his mind. I wish Eric had checked on him the night before, when he didn't show up for dinner, but that didn't happen and we all have to live with the result. I really hate that it was Eric who found him, as Eric is a very gentle soul and Tony was essentially his best friend.

We have a broken mental health system in this country and we are rapidly heading to a point culturally where this problem is probably going to accelerate. One hope that something will be done about it, much as there is now a growing recognition of the opioid crisis, which seems to be on the cusp of some sort of helpful attention.

[Crowbob]

Well, Mr. Bourdain certainly showed us what's what eh, gentlemen. Apparently this old world just wasn't cool enough for him. Or perhaps having meaningful relationships are just too overwhelming for any mortal to deal with let alone your hero.

It could be he thought the world and all of it's treasures, explored and unexplored, were just too putrid for any insightful and wizened man to live in let alone the few billions or so struggling just to get by in it.

Who knows?

Whatever problem(s) he thought hanging himself would solve are still there, except his. Too bad he couldn't stick it out like the rest of us long enough to possibly see where it all goes or what it all means.

He also left us hanging, we not worthy enough for him to explain to us what the world had taught him.

Sure, gentlemen, go ahead and bring down onto me your ire. And no I won't wait for your apologies. Not because I am too busy galevanting all around, sampling all the world and bringing it to you all for your own vicarious pleasure, but because my time on this earth is already too limited and too compressed to fit in and deal with childish insults nor to cut it even shorter for whatever unbearable reason. My world, as tiny and protected and anonymous as it is is still worth living in, tasteless as I am.

Apparently his wasn't.

He made a choice. So be it. And yes, I am angry about it.

[Rick Lee]

I would be angry about it too, except no one who does that is in their right mind. No one else knows what the other guy has been through emotionally or what makes him get out of bed in the morning. Lot of people, who seemingly had everything to live for and lacked for nothing, have offed themselves, leaving everyone in their wake scratching their heads, wondering what signs they missed, what they could have done, desperate for answers that will never come. I think it's especially bad and selfish, given that AB had a young daughter and his elderly mother is still alive. I know nothing could make me off myself as long as my folks are around. The thought of what that would do to them makes it pretty easy for me to carry on, even if I did want to check out early. But it's pointless to overanalyze what made AB do it. Only he knows and he had to be in a mental place none of us knows about to get to that point.

[drkshdw]

As I said on my original post, we never know what someone else is going through. Yes, he gave up the ghost but we may never know why. I suspect there is more to his story that we will never know.

As has been stated elsewhere, he was a heavy smoker and drinker in years past. We don't know that he wasn't given a terminal diagnosis, we don't know what his relationship status was, we don't know that this wasn't a relapse and we don't know if it may have been accidental (erotic asphyxiation).

Perhaps we will know in the weeks or months down the road but in the meantime, we shouldn't rush to judgement about someone's character because of one 'mistake' they made when we don't know the circumstances behind it.

[sammyg2]

Originally Posted by drkshdw

As has been stated elsewhere, he was a heavy smoker and drinker in years past.

He did a lot more than that.