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Too Fast Too Live
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Southbury/Fairfield CT
Posts: 54
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34. A project takes you 5 hours, then you learn how to do it the easy way in 2.
35. If you work on your car in the driveway, it's always a good time to rain. 36. Your repair, in turn, causes another problem. 37. The jobs you think will go quickly, takes all day. 38. The AAA girl recognizes your voice. 39. Failure of the cheap part creates an expensive repair. 40. The wrench or socket you will need the most is the one you don't have. 41. After you break the torque on a stubborn bolt you use a "band-aid"; which consists of a dirty rag wrapped in duck tape. Last edited by Sphinx; 04-11-2009 at 12:01 PM.. |
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Army Wrench Turner
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Fredericton, New Brunswick, Canada
Posts: 74
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42. The tightest bolt will be covered in grease, rounded off and surrounded by sharp edges.
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- '84 944 (Black) |
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43. When a bunch of morons work on a car that requires specific technical knowledge and advanced mechanical ability, a list like this results.
( sorry, I like dark humor. I am just joking of course, This forum has been a treasure chest of information and help to me. Much thanks to you all)
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1991 cabriolet (sold) 1989 S2 1988 S 1987 944 n/a (sold) 1987 944 factory yellow (junked )
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Learned by do'n twice
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 351
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34: It will cost more than you think and take twice as long.
jmd_forest
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86 944 NA - Brought back from the dead |
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35: Don't bother counting the number of bolts you removed, there will always be 1 or 2 left over. Save it for the next unrelated project since you'll need it then.
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86 951 blk |
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36: Timing belts only break for people who believe 944s are unreliable
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dude |
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Join Date: Oct 2007
Posts: 100
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44. You know you have older car experience when a can of worms is nothing compared to the can of angry bees you just opened!
Last edited by blepkowski; 04-12-2009 at 02:52 PM.. |
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Registered
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Dallas, TX
Posts: 86
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Hi everybody!! First post and I always like to read these kinds of "Murphy's Laws."
Here are acouple you may not have heard: Murphy's third minor law states: If things seem to be going well it's a dilusion. When measuring resistance, all tolerances will go to one end. Kirchof's Law States that Murphy Was An Optimist. Thanks for letting me play along. |
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45. You will think that you can do whatever it is you need to do to your car without touching the headers, and therefore will attempt the repair with the engine warm. You will be wrong.
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1988 944... and a bunch of other cars
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Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Atlanta, GA
Posts: 2,681
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46. Whenever you finish your repair no matter how small there will be an extra bolt or nut or washer left. Wondering if it was important will briefly cause concern but as long as the cars starts and runs you will forget about it mostly....
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89 944 - Alpine white/blue, MSDS headers |
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47. No matter how well you plan to clean every part as you start to work on your car and keep yourself clean, by the end of the day you have more grease and oil on yourself than in the car.
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'86 944 Turbo You have to be a masochist to love something so frustrating. |
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Join Date: Jun 2008
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48. If you can see the bolt, you can't get to it. Conversely if you can get to to the bolt, you can't see it.
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Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 109
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If you try to fix that tiny scratch, you will make it worse.
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Registered
Join Date: Sep 2001
Location: Tucson AZ USA
Posts: 8,228
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My dear departed bride (who was my "eyes" during a lot of various P-car repairs) noted the following concerning Porsche repairs:
"If you can see it, you can't reach it. If you can reach it, you can't see it" Hence why she was my eyes.
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Bob S. former owner of a 1984 silver 944 |
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51. You will trip over a tool or a part everyday for 364 days until the day you need it, when it's suddenly no where to be found.
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'88 Porsche 928 S4 - LSD - Sold '88 Porsche 944 N/A - Sold |
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52. When all else fails, your car will be one of a transition year. Manuals and online procedures will not apply.
53. Most "Porsche Special Tools" can be adequately substituted using an SAE flare wrench, a piece of steel pipe, a paper clip and a grinding wheel. |
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Registered
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: North of Boston
Posts: 163
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54. When under the car and you need a 13 mm 3/8 inch drive 6pt socket you will reach into the tool bag and get, in this order: a 13 mm 1/4in, 12 mm, 14mm, 13mm 12 point deep, 16mm, a 3/8 to 1/2in ext, a second 13mm 1/4in drive, a 12mm 6pt and finally -- a 13mm 3/8 drive 6pt socket with a rusted nut stuck inside it.
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86 944 NA 2.5 |
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Recreational User
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55. The only location to hang the work light will either:
a. Shine it directly in your eyes or b. Point it in the opposite direction.
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1992 BMW 850i 1984 Porsche 944 gone, but not forgotten 2007 Buell XB9SX 2005 Xterra |
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Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: neither here nor there
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56. No matter what, if you take your original estimate, then double and add 10%, you might be close...
...except for that rusted bolt, which you just broke off. |
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Will work for parts
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57. It's not the size of the bolt in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the bolt (or nut)
58. A large vitally important bolt holding the suspension on the car will be loose, a small tiny bolt holding a part on along with 10 other bolts will be frozen solid and break flush requiring hours of work on an otherwise trivial task.
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'88 944 240,100 miles -race car '05 Boxster 110,000 - Daily Driver '74 911 Targa - long term project |
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