30 Days Notice

[71T Targa]

I think I’ve mentioned here before we have 11 kids. (bio, step, adopted, foster). A few years ago we brought a little girl home from the NICU not knowing how long she’d be in our care, but also knowing she wouldn’t be going back to her bio-parents so it was likely we would adopt. We ended up having her for just over 8 months then she was moved to another caregiver who shared her ‘nationality’. (If you didn’t already know, there are 573 federally recognized nations in the US). I was pretty crushed, and vowed to never bring another baby home who would just get taken away from us and our kids. That vow lasted less than 6 months…

In Aug of last year we brought a baby boy home from the NICU. He was having a hard time, sweating out the toxins, etc, but we got through. We had a lot of sleepless nights and went through all of the things new parents go through. It was tough, but hopeful. Again we entered in to this not knowing how long he’d be with us. But knowing it wasn’t likely that his bio-parents would ever parent and the most likely outcome was that we would adopt. Yesterday we got word that wasn’t going to be the case. We were given our ’30 days notice' to assimilate this little guy in to the care of his bio-parents. By the end of the 30 days, he needed to be transitioned to be 100% in their care.

While his bio-parents have had visits over the last year he doesn’t know then as his parents. He doesn’t know then as his caregiver. He only knows them as someone who plays with him for an hour or two in an office play room a couple of time a week. Our job now is to help this little guy move from the only family he’s ever known to his ‘new’ parents. To do whatever we can to ease the impact on his world being turned upside down. To do it all with a smile on our face, and without stress in our voice. All while being crushed inside. It’s hard not to hope his parents fail. That they just give up. That they somehow realize that he’d be better off with us than on the verge of homelessness. But I know there is a plan for his life. And that plan is being fulfilled by being with his bio-parents.

I can’t say what will happen next, or what my response will be when we get the next call. For now, I’m just trying to get through the next 30 days. Maybe things will take a turn. But I know it will all turn out okay.

[Sooner or later]

I am soooooo sorry.

What great people you are.

[billybek]

I couldn't do that.
I am very happy that you and your family can though.
I am sure that having them in your care makes a difference to them now and in the future. Knowing that people love and care for them at an early age is so huge to their developement.

Sorry to hear that this little man isn't going to be with you for longer.

[Gogar]

You are a hero

I don’t even have the balls to do this for a puppy

[masraum]

Originally Posted by gogar

you are a hero

i don’t even have the balls to do this for a puppy

^^^^+1

[sc_rufctr]

He's a cute little kid. I hope it all works out for the best.

[Jeff Higgins]

Wow. I don't know what to say. We live in a cruel world, punctuated by fantastic, selfless people like you. You are a lot stronger than I will ever be. God bless you.

[flatbutt]

Oh that face! All blessings man you are a hero!!

[LakeCleElum]

Joel - Another heartbreaker.........So Sorry.......

I can only start to relate from my experience last year. The neighbor dog moved in with me when they got a German Shorthair as a 2nd dog. He even slept with me. Then, after a year, without a word, they took him back. I'd hear him yelping and crying from his kennel in their garage while they were gone all day.

Your experience is 10 times worse I'm sure.......G'luck.

[Icemaster]

You're 1000x the man I could ever be.

I'm so sorry, the changes you brought to his life and the others in your family will never be lost, no matter what happens you have made a difference.

Gogar's right. You are a hero.

[asphaltgambler]

With-out a doubt extremely unselfish..........I don't know if I could rise to your level to do that.....

It's been said before but.......... the greatest gift here on Earth as humans is to serve others - 2 and 4 legged. In essence.....to do God's will through our being. Especially in instances like this the most challenging part is to have no expectation in return other than their success.

That's the real beauty where we give so much of ourselves to serve others with possibility of getting nothing in return. The greatest sacrifice.

[crustychief]

Dang it! I do not understand why courts do this to kids. I agree with the Hero sentiment.

[expatriot98]

71T Targa - You and your family are good people. God Bless you all.

[LWJ]

Thank you. Adoption is a cause that is very big with me and my family. I can't do what you do.

Personally. I am having a crap day today. After a crap year.

And I am humbled by your post. Thank you for your gift. You have readjusted my perspective in a good way.

[wdfifteen]

Bless you. Your heart must be strong to have been broken so many times and still hold so much love.

[Bugsinrugs]

No words can ease your heart break. This world needs more people like you and your wife.

[71T Targa]

Thank you all for the support and for being a sounding board. It is a truly humbling experience.

This story is to be continued...

[Superman]

You and your spouse are either braver than I, more loving than I, or both.

[Seahawk]

There may be families with bigger hearts than yours, I just don’t know them.

I am frankly at a loss for words.

[Neilk]

+ 1,000 to what everyone else said. That child was lucky to have you, even for a short time. I hope it ends up working out for him.